It is cold!

I am so glad I do not live in North Dakota, (sorry Amanda) The older I get the less I like the cold. Things have been interesting lately. I am having some issues with hormones not being what they should be. So I think, yea I am 52, it is probably menopause starting. no big deal. No, I could not have something like other people. God truly made me unique. The hormone that is elevated for me is one that is usually present in pregnant and nursing mothers. Yep, that is right. I never do anything correctly. Well my doc thought that maybe there would be a small tumor on pituitary gland that would account for the elevation. Nope, none there. So at this point I am to get an appointment with an endocrinologist and go from there. And the local endocrinologist isnt accepting patients. Besides the annoying aspects that no one wants to read on here (sore breasts, etc.) I seem to be experiencing depression also. This is a hard one for me. So that is why I am writing about it.
Some part of me is ashamed to admit that I have been on anti-depressant/anti-anxiety meds for bunches of years. I finally accepted that this small amount keeps me moving and live is better. But now my doc has increased my meds twice. Yep twice. That is very, very difficult for me. My Doc tells me that this is just a chemical imbalance and it will probably pass. The hormones might be causing it or whatever causes the hormone imbalance might be messing with mood chemicals in brain.
But for now, right now, I feel like I should somehow be able to "suck it up" or be strong and tough it out. I know, I know, I tell all those I work with that this is nothing to be ashamed of but it doesnt feel like that way. So God is going to use this to help me help others. And I know 100% that it will be for good, but it is just a difficult place to be right now.
The good news is that the meds are working! I am not extremely emotional and wanting to cry constantly. Hopefully with the new increase I will have greater clarity of thought.
I needed to write this and to admit that I am powerless without God working in me, I only have hope in Him and God is good all the time. So for now, my six word testimony that Grubbs asked us to think about is:
Born Hopeless,
Lovingly redeemed,
Chasing Him.

A time of concern

Everywhere I go and everyone I talk to is talking about the uncertainty of the times. this is a time that both the well off and poor are concerned about their future. Everywhere I go, I hear that times are tough. I do ache for those that truly do without and do not know where they are going to come up with money for meds or food that is needed on their special diets. These people need all the help that we can give them. But most of us, and I include myself; are maybe eating out a little less and worrying as we watch the stock market plummet and our money on paper decreasing daily. I attended a college football game and it was filled with people who had spent a lot of money on tickets, tailgating, etc. Pass any restaurant and you still find people waiting to be seated. So while we might be affected by less in our portfolios when we retire, the really needy are "retired" but have no money to care for themselves. Political commercials right now make you want to not vote...........For tonight I pray that all of us will pray about our voting and pray for the ones who have so little around us.

Beautiful Day

God is blessing us with the painting of the trees right now.......they are just beginning to turn colors and the the leaves are falling. The sky was so blue today, it reminded me of Colorado sky. Autumn is an enjoyable time of year. God gives me so many gifts daily......God is good.

Thankfulness

Today, I am thankful for birds that sing, leaves that parade a cascade of colors for our delight. I am thankful that I have been blessed with awesome relationships, wonderful opportunities for worship and financial means to not to have to worry where my next meal comes from. I am thankful for having the three most awesome children that any one person could have. They have the ability to change the world and are doing so daily. I am one of those truly fortunate persons who gets paid to help other people. I am truly blessed in every way.
I have a sister and a dear friend who affirmed me and supported me when I could not believe in myself. Without their support I would not be who and what I am. But who am I truly thankful to? My wonderful heavenly father who gave me everyone of the things I mentioned above. For tonight I am thankful..............

Sunday

What an exciting weekend, full of emotions and hope and concern and fear. I spent an exciting day yesterday at Women of Purpose and was so blessed. But soon after I got there I got a call from my sister that the squad had taken Mom to the ER. She had "popped" her knee and couldn't walk. I left for the ER praying for her and for me, to be what she needed me to be. The xrays showed no break so she was referred to call an orthopedic doctor on Monday and schedule a MRI to further check on what happened. She was fitted with a knee brace to keep her right knee straight and given some pain pills. She was also told her her knees were worn out and would probably need a total knee replacement. My sister took Mom home and I went back to Women of Purpose. I was blessed by being there and the angels in heaven surely can't outsing Sara Jane! After WoP, stopped and picked up pizza as we were having a couple friends over later. Ginger and Rose came and visited and I laughed and laughed at the stories they told. They are two special ladies that are truly blessing my life. After they left, I went to my Mom's to spend the night. We had quite a time. My sister and I tried to set up the potty chair for Mom to use during the night so she would not have to get up and try to get to bathroom. Well, my sister found the liner for the chair but it did not have a bottom to it. She almost didn't notice. So we set about trying to find a container to sit inside of the chair to no avail. Finally, as a joint effort we figured out that this insert was to be used when you sit the chair over the commode. Mom remembered through her tears of laughter that the other container was stored under the other bathroom sink. So by then we sat up the potty chair thinking we had outsmarted it, but no it was not over. We had the chair set up high so Mom could use it. well, by the time she climbed onto it, she looked like little Edith Ann who used to be on Laugh-In. her feet a good 4-5 inches off the floor. So we fixed it and got it positioned by Mom's bed. My sister left and I though I had the easy part, just going to bed and getting up during the night with Mom. Well, my sister hadn't been gone more than ten minutes when Mom decided she was ready for bed. Well somehow as she tried to lift herself out of the chair with one foot and her arms and me trying to help her to a walker,; yep, she almost slid to the floor. The giggles returned and I thought I would have to run for the potty chair. Mom finally made it to bed and she took the brace off. She only got up once during the night and it went well. this morning I woke early and lay there waiting to hear her moving. A couple times I got up and went in to look at her and she was asleep. Finally I popped around the door to her room and she scared me by talking before I realized she was awake. She told me that after she used the bathroom during the night, she thought she might need a pain pill but she heard me snoring and decided not to wake me up. (Am I a good nurse or what?) She said it was a soft snoring, but she had her hearing aide out and was in another room! We barely got up and dressed this am before my sister came so I could go to church. Sharon came by to get me for church and Mom tried to tell her about all the activities and could not for laughing till she cried. Sharon just sort of smiled with a concerned look. Church was good and we came home for dinner and had tilapia but it just doesn't taste as well as when Dorian fixed it. I am going to get myself together and go back to Mom's and hopefully try to behave this time. I will spend the night there again and hopefully we can get an orthopedic dr. to see her tomorrow. Her knee was better this am but we will see....Pray that Mom will receive the wisest medical care and pray that those around her will serve her with skill not just good intentions (mostly me)