Teaching

We are all teachers of the faith. you do not have to sign up to teach sunday school, or be employed as a teacher. I am a teacher of the faith. wow that encompasses a lot of responsibility. You see I am not just teaching the faith on Monday nights Life group meetings, I am teaching when I am at work feeling lazy or when I am home complaining about how something is done. sometimes my teaching points others to the faith but I know that there are times that I am teaching against the faith. For this I seek forgiveness and try again. I want my life to be a light to others. I am feeling more comfortable saying, "use me". I can hardly wait to see where this journey leads me next. Today I am thankful that I have so many treasures that God has given me. I am thankful to have been so blessed with awesome family and friends. I am so thankful that my mess ups are covered and my sins forgiven. Tonight as I head to bed feeling very blessed, I want to tell my children that they are my greatest blessings; Lisa my princess, Karen otherwise known as Missy Dorian my new son and Brian B-boy Vaughan, you make me proud every day. I am so blessed to have you in my life. Continue to look to him and know that no matter how much I love you it pales to how much your heavenly father love you. Good night.

What a day...

I began my day sleepy and grumpy. Griswald, my Yorkie decided that he was not sleey last night and he was up down, barking, in my face until around 1:30 -2p. If I had the energy I could have just choked him on the spot. Then he settled down to sleep but was back at it at 5:30p. Not sure if we just left him alone too long yesterday or he ate something he shouldn't have and was hyper but I began the day with a headache and a deficit. As soon as I got to work it seemed to get worse. I already had a guardianship case before probate court where I had to testify and had an afterhours meeting at 6:30 this evening with family of a client. But then we found out that there was emergency situation with the grandma and three grandchildren, a case that we have worked on for over a year was coming to a head today as judge had ordered deputy to forcibly transport the lady to ER where the director of Mental Health was going to evaluate her. They had requested that we be present to assist if needed. Guess when it was scheduled? Yep, same exact bat time, same bat channel as the guardianship hearing. So went to hearing and guardianship was granted but I never feel good when it is necessary for a court to take someone's rights away from them. It was now quitting time and headed to the emergency situation. Decided that that lady that was being transported to ER was at least safe and hospital SW was called to assist. The grandma was very agitated and blamed us for wanting to take her grandchildren away. She has agreed to sign for the two youngest to go to respite care for 3-5 days but this situations just keeps getting worse and there is little that we can get done. Please pray that these children can find peace.
Maybe I should mention that tomorrow is the last day before retirement of a lady in our unit. Well I volunteered to get the ham this evening and cook it for tomorrow. Oh and BJ's Buddies is fixing dinner for the volunteer fireman tonight to show our appreciation. Yep, I volunteered to make baked spaghetti for 25. Well as the day progressed I had to ask for help. A coworker agreed to get the ham and Sharon agreed to bake and deliver the spaghetti (I made it last night)
So all I had left to do was meet with a family where the child was living off her elderly grandmother....pleasant it was not..........So now I am home and I am thankful that I am learning to ask God for guidance before every visit I make. I am asking to use His wisdom not mine. I pray for ALL involved before I meet them. and it is going well. See, I used to think I did all of this and my superior skills helped me assist people. Well, boy was I wrong. God has blessed me with abilities to reach out to others but it is only when I show His love that I can truly make a difference in people's lives.
I plan on going to bed early tonight and getting ready for Billie's retirement gala tomorrow. I just hope I can stay focused and keep realizing that I can do anything when He strengthens me, but I can't hardly do anything without Him.
The devo for today is about encouragement and how we have the power to kill or give life based on what we say to those around us. The last paragraph "May your conversation this week be peppered with phrases like: 'Ibelieve in you....', i'm grateful for you....', I see God using you.....,"and I'm glad you are in my life.' Be encouraged, there is good news of great joy for all people, and his name is Christ the Lord."
So I close by saying, Brian I believe in you, Sharon I'm grateful for you, Lisa, I see God using you and Karen I appreciate you. To all those in my life, be encouraged because there truly is good news and GREAT joy for all people. Be at peace............

I am tired....

but wanted to post. It is past my bedtime but wanted to jot down a couple thoughts. Patience, truthfulness and forgiveness are all huge. that was life group study tonight. It was a powerful bonding experience and God continues to bless us and use us. We are trying to quit being "plastic people" and it is scary and it is exciting. Pray that God will use this group to bring light to a dark world and his love to those who are unloved..........

Lisa

Met Lisa for lunch yesterday and she brought her friend Mikayla. Lisa volunteers for Big Brothers/Big Sisters and Mikayla is Lisa's little "sister". Enjoyed meeting Mikayla as she is a real sweetie. Will post a pic here of them meeting us for lunch at Bob Evans.

I love this

casting crown video, please watch
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=grRnCSAzwuQ
How often have I been these plastic people, afraid to let others know about me. Smiling and pretending everything is ok. For today I will try to remain real and not hide who I am or what I feel. today I feel good, I am learning to trust God when I pray "use me". Please pray for BJ's Buddies that everyone that needs to be there will be there tomorrow evening and bless us who try to facilitate that we will be used by God. Help me to get my agenda out of the way and pray that God will be shown through us.

Saturday

"Never doubt that a group of concerned citizens can change the world, indeed that is the only thing that ever has"
Go for your dreams and don't give up. When you see injustice or need, seek the cure. And remember God can use you in ways you never imagined.
Can't wait for the sermon tomorrow continuing on in the 40 days of community. Not very many Saturday evenings do I find myself looking forward to the sermon the next morning. Can't wait to see what tomorrow brings.

Friday

I learned a valuable lesson today. Do not get between a grandmother and grandchild. I am talking about Sharon and Kaitlyn. Sharon was watering some flowers with hose and Kaitlyn was outside playing. I was inside ironing (I know that happens maybe twice a year). Kaitlyn came in and told me that Grandma was getting her wet and she could not get grandma back. I simply told her to be patient and keep trying. Shortly after that I heard Sharon scream and I thought that Kaitlyn must have dumped a bucket of water on Sharon. So I went to french door to check on her. Kaitlyn had ran just inside the door and as I asked Sharon what happened she let go with the hose through the screen full force. I got the breath knocked out of me :) It seems that Sharon though that I put Kaitlyn up to spraying her (Kaitlyn readily agreed when she thought she was in trouble). to think, for once I was innocent!
Today's devo is about being patient and how oftentimes if we stop to listen and understand then we have more patience. I needed patience after the water incident. Patience sometimes is easy and other times it is harder but it is so difficult to be patient continuously, no matter what. But that is how my heavenly Father is with me. Patient when I ask for forgiveness and do the same things time after time. My Father is patient when I start out the day pledging to stay focused on Him and by break time I have realized that I have lost my way and my focus. Patience is something that I need more of and more consistently.
Tonight I am tired but life is good. God is moving in my life in visible ways and it scares me and excites me.
Tonight dear Father I thank you for being patient with me through all my insanity. I thank you for blessing me with so many riches and treasures. I bring before you this lazy, doubting sporadic christian and ask boldly that you use me. Use me to bring you glory, to show your love to those I come in contact with. Use me to reach out to the world and be salt.

thursday

I keep messing up and hitting enter and it posts nothing. tonight was fun though. Six of BJ's Buddies met at Wendys and from there two went to visit two elderly persons and the rest went to a new widow's house to wash her windows. Some that did not make it to Wendys met us there. We made short work of the windows and had fun while we did it. Life is good and God is good, all the time. Please pray for the family of Grandmother and three children that hope can be found for them. Especially Casey, the middle child is weighing heavy on my heart.

Wednesday

I am having a hard time getting it through my head the concept of true acceptance and respect. I mean I think I accept people and respect people. But as I am delving into scripture and this study of community, I realize that I don't even come close. Because you see, I am commanded to accept and respect and yes love as our Father does. So can I look at God's family and not see their faults? Can I hold a hand of a friend who is going through the same struggle that she has gone through numerous times before without thinking "When will she learn?" Then I am reminded that I have screwed up so many, many times and my Father just keeps loving me with the same patience and same acceptance as if I did not screw up again. Am I loving like that? Not yet. But I am becoming aware that I am called to.
At life group the another night we discussed being able to say "Use me" and mean it. I truly think this is the first time in my life that I truly mean that and am asking daily for god to use me. I am more aware of opportunities now with this mind set. Oh I am still screwing up a lot and catching myself thinking this is not what I should be doing, saying etc. But I am aware of more that I need to be doing. I am aware and that is the first step. so pray that I will keep my awareness and move ot the next step.

Tuesday

tonight was HOPE group night. I feel miscombobulated about how it went. The topic was healthy love versus toxic love. But as we discussed incidents of where we had love expressed to us, a lot of other issues came up. A couple ladies were hurting tonight. It is so difficult to heal from an abusive childhood, or abusive marriage. I look at these ladies and see such strength and determination but they can not see it in themselves. The have such issues with guilt and low self esteem and do not believe in themselves. Tonight they were reaching out to each other which is good to see. One lady was urging another one on and you could see that she was realizing the truths for herself as well as the lady she was talking to.
Tonight I ask that our heavenly father surround them with His love and protect them from further hurts. May I be an instrument of His love to them.
Tonight my thought are on my children (I know, they are there every day) I bring them before His throne, asking that they be protected and surrounded by His love. Lisa, Karen, Dorian and Brian; you are the smile in my life.

Monday

Life group was good. One new lady was there tonight. A lot of good discussion and we seem to be settling in. God continues to amaze me in how he is working in our group. BJ had an excellent observation; We are all excited at this "new" event for us, but God is probably saying what took you so long? We discussed how important trust is to love. These ladies amaze me with their enthusiasm and willingness. I am so blessed by God and continue to ask him to use me............

Sunday

Bible class was good and sermon was awesome. Everything just seems to be working together. The group of ladies meeting on Monday's known as Bj's buddies are a diverse group. Most of us are solitary people and we all seem to be doing ok with this group thing. Everyone is excited and ready for the next meeting. It is so evident that God is in control. I just hope we can continue to focus on him and not us. Pray that we will continue to reach out to our community, in the church and out. This is a busy week coming up, I hope I can do all I do this week remembering that I am that ambassador of Christ............
To my babies; I love you and I miss you. I wish I could sit down and talk to each of you for hours. Have a good week and stay focused.....I'll love you for always, I'll love forever, as long as I'm living, my babies you'll be. :)

Saturday

We are a representative of Christ. Kinda scary? it is to me. Everything I do, I do it as a representative of Christ. Oh I can behave and say and do the right things when I am thinking about it, but always? No for me, for far too long, being a representative of Christ has been something to concentrate on at times. Not that other times I live badly or have no regard for things of God. But I can't imagine that I act like an ambassador of Christ daily. There are many times when I would be ashamed to realize that I am what the world sees as Christ. Wow! I will work on that this next week and try to keep in mind moment by moment that I am Christ's ambassador.
this morning BJ's buddies cleaned a basement for an elderly gentleman suffering with cancer. This basement had not been cleaned in several years and it was a lot of hard work but I truly had fun. These ladies know how to work. I am tired and lazy tonight but I feel good that we helped someone and had fun. I got word this afternoon that the lady client passed away. Hopefully she is at peace now. After cleaning the basement, Sharon and I went to her mother's and installed a ceiling fan. Good news, it is up and it works.........Given enough time and enough instructions we can master just about anything.
Sitting here thinking about the day and knowing that I am so blessed. god has blessed me with riches and riches and I want to start using those things to serve God.

Friday

" People know we love them when we show we love them" this is from today's devotion. I keep reading and studying and then things just happen. God happens. I went to work and had the difficult conversation and that was done with. then I was told that one of my clients that I have known for 7-8 years was in a nursing facility and was dying within the week. I went to the nursing facility to see the lady and was told that she was not expected to live thru the day and felt that death was due any time. The director of nursing was sitting with the lady as she did not want to leave her to die alone. But they were calling the director of nursing to a meeting. I volunteered to sit with the lady. She was drawing long labored breaths and I though each one was the last. the nurse came back and put on soft music and asked me the lady ever talked about God. I assured her that she always mentioned God to me. A short time later the nurse came back with a Bible and suggested that I read it to her. I sat by a dying lady and read the entire book of Psalms and I prayed with her and for her. I called back to work to let them know that I was staying by the lady's side. Eventually a neighbor of the lady came and agreed to sit with her. I left for a while and tried to get some work done but could not get my mind off of her. About an hour before quitting time I got a call from the nursing facility notifying me that the neighbor was leaving. I went back to sit with her and stayed for a while. Life is so short and transient and that was made real to me today. I tried to reach out with love today but I received back true love. From the director of nursing who was sitting with an old lady and kept me up to date on developments to the director of admissions who wheeled in a cart of drinks and snacks to the room. And to the neighbor who sat with the lady and promised to stay with her until the end. I was shown love today, pure agape love.............Pray that the lady has peace. Everytime I think I am going to show love, it gets shown to me and reading scripture and praying for her was such a blessing to me.
Tomorrow BJ's buddies are cleaning out a gentleman's basement. He is declining with cancer and he needs help. I already know that even though I will be attempting to show love, I will receive more than I give tomorrow. For tonight I am thankful for love and all those who love me so well.........

Thursday 2

As I sit at the end of day; 8 hours of work, 1 1/2 hours union mtg and now waiting for BJ's Buddies to start visitation. I am less than energetic but still hopeful-
Hopeful that what we do makes a difference. I am hopeful that the elderly people that I visited through work will be a little less apprehensive because of my visits. But I know that in reality at least one lady is more apprehensive because I convinced her to let home health come in to home to monitor her meds for two weeks. Tonight she feels incompetent and worries that little by little she is losoing her independence---and the sad part is ....she is. I lift her before our Father tonight asking that He give her peace and safety. Hopefully I can be an instrument to help her have both. The union meeting was ok, but I often get tired of being president of my local but can't seem to give it up either. Tomorrow morning I will to to my boss with an uncomfortable conversation. Union members feel that someone is getting preferential treatment, I see a hurting heart that is struggling and being shown mercy. I hope to approach this conversation with humility and not out of superiority. Pray that I will chose the best words.
Sharon and BJ joined me at Wendys for supper and then we decided to go visit an elderly lady of our congregation. But while I was at Wendys, I received a phone call from Antonio. The words 'Hola grandma Anita" makes my heart smile. I smile as I talk with him and he wanted to know where I was. He did not like that I was at Wendys and he wanted Karen to take him. Unsure if he just though Wendys sounded good and he wanted some or he wanted to go to see me. I miss the little stinker. I can not express his voice brings to me. If I can find a pic of him I will post it today.
We were off to visit the lady but before I got there I received a call from on call worker asking about a client. Apparently my name was being given as a person who knew what was going on in a mother/daughter fight. The sad result was that the mother was admitted to psychiatic unit of hospital.
The lady we visited; Betty is such a sweetheart. She talked of how her husband and she were married for over 60 years before he passed away. She told of how he would bring her the dirty clothes to sort and she would find little notes within the dirty laundry that said "I love you". Even though a large part of me did not want to take the time tonight to visit for Bj's Buddies, I am glad that I did. I pray that others will join us next week so that we can brighten more people's lives.
After the visit we were talking about how scary/exiting it is to see God working in BJ's Buddies. I can't wait to see what else he has in store for us. I covet your prayers and stay tuned to see what God is going to do next!

Thursday 1

I know I missed Wednesday :( I had to work over last night and was a little not feeling well when I got home...I whined a lot and went to bed early. My working over last night was sad. A family that is falling through the cracks and no one is helping them or at least the interventions that are occurring do no see to make a difference. Can you imagine a ten year old who is willing to physically abuse their elderly caregiver to get what they want? I went there being upset at the children but left upset that no one has intervened on the children's behalf to give them options or discipline. I can not talk about the specifics but please keep this family in your prayers. They need enormous interventions if these children are ever to have any kind of normal adulthood.
I read our daily devotion and the first sentence was simply " We are to accept others just like Jesus accepts us". It talked about Zacheus and how Jesus accepted him and went to his house. I am not there yet to accept others as well as Jesus accepts me, but I am trying to wrap my mind around it. I went to a Senior Advocacy Group today and it was awesome to be in a group of people who value and support our seniors...........

Tuesday

Tonight is a slow night for a change and I was needing this. I was reading my daily devotion for today from 40 days of community and it talked about hospitality and using our homes to serve others. The surprising part for me was that hospitality comes from hospice and hospital. Shelter and healing....so appropriate. Sharon and I have decided to open up our home the first Friday evening of each month for games or movies for whomever wants to come and bring a friend. I am reminded that everything that I think I have, is not really mine. God has just blessed me with it for a short while to use for His glory.
Work is sorta crazy as one of our workers is retiring the last day of month and we will be short one worker. We are already swamped and are starting to have anxiety over how we will do it all. At times I get caught up in it all and worry just like everyone else but for the most part, I am trying to just do the best I can daily. My clients keep me humble and busy. I learn daily from them.
Love is required, not an option. I do well with loving the poor, the downtrodden but boy do I have a problem with loving know it alls and judgmental people. I have been thinking alot about who my "unloveables" are. At first I thought of sexual offenders or perverts but then I realized that I could love almost anyone. I think my greatest hurdle to love is those that hurt my children. I know it is possible but this sometimes seems insurmountable.......What makes this real to me is that I am probably someone elses "unloveables". And to God I am so unloveable but am loved just the same...Awesome stuff so as I continue this week, I will focus on expanding those that I demonstrate love to.

Monday

Mondays are Life Group nights for BJ's Buddies. It is an exciting time. we had 15 ladies there tonight. Boy is God answering prayers. I am excited and scared at the same time to see such evidence of God moving. Good discussion and everyone seemed uplifted. A couple more items to add to our list; a widow needs help washing windows and some more names of those wanting visits. God is good! ICor. 13 is mindboggling to me. It is incomprehensible that I could sell all that I have and give to the poor, or faith to move mountains, but without love, it is nothing. Wow. Love is why we are here. So that others will know that we are His. Not by baptism, or names on our church buildings, but by love. And not just love as in loving, Him. No they will know we are christians by how we love each other. Each person in our group tonight named someone that they will complete an act of love for in this next week. I picked a difficult person that I work with. You see I do not have a problem loving the poor, or neglected but I have a real problem loving those that are haughty or lazy. But I must learn to love as God loves; without conditions. Our group decided to start meeting on Thursdays to visit people. When people pray, use me....He does. Tonight as I head to bed, I want my precious children to know that I love them to the moon and back but no matter how much I love them, it pales in comparison to how much their heavenly father loves them. In understanding this, I understand how God can love me, His daughter, no matter how much I mess up. I am posting tonight a pic of my children, my life.

Sunday

It is Sunday night and I am tired and wondering what happened to the weekend. Getting stuff ready for "BJ's Buddies" tomorrow night and I am so excited about all that is happening. 2-3 new ladies are supposed to come tomorrow night. I have finally reached the place where I am really saying "Use me". It is scary and it is exciting. There are so many things that BJ's Buddies can do and we are doing them. Ron's sermon sticks in my head........Tell your story he said. My story is simple. before putting God at the center of my life, I had no hope. I had no reason to think that anything could be better. No matter how many things I had screwed up ( and I had plenty) they were forgiven and I could start over. God forgave me. Because he gave his son I am forgiven. I have hope and I have forgiveness...Tonight dear father I pray that you saturate my life with your love and give me wisdom and courage to follow you.

Saturday

Today was a beautiful day in my heart. Lisa, Mom and I went shopping and eating and spending time with those you love and love you is good stuff. Lisa had strawberry shortcake for us and was a wonderful hostess. Tonight I am tired but feeling good and I really enjoyed spending time with my Mom.
God is so good to me and has blessed me so much. I hope that I can show love to those I come in contact with. Love without conditions, love without judgment, just love. At times like today I miss Karen tremendously, but I know she is doing what she is supposed to be doing. And Brian is getting a college education so that he can support me in my old age. Life is Good and God is Good all the time.
The picture was taken while I was in Honduras, and to me it just shows peace............

Friday

This says it all. I got this pic with an email from my loving son Brian. First thing this morning I opened this at work and laughed my head off. He must take after his father. Brian told me that he made the above pic instead of studying. I am getting worried about see his grades. yep that batman is me......
Tonight is a night of fun and love, My mom came with me to Columbus and spend the night with Lisa. WE have giggled and had lots of fun.. You know I am starting to worry....Lisa gave me a glass of coke and there were these things floating in it. She has these lobster refreezeable ice cubes! Maybe I should worry about all my children....Well I need to check in with Karen and see what strange thing she is doing........Remember, love those next to you and have fun. I am...

Thursday

Reading my 40 days of community devotional for today is thought provoking. Points to Ponder for today is "Love must be learned". At first thought this seems wrong. I mean don't we all know instinctively how to love? Isn't love instinctual for us humans? Surely love is more nature than nurture. But then I think longer about this and I have seen the results of dysfunctional families where love was not taught. I remember one lady who I met several years ago and when it was suggested that she fix her children lunch she was flabbergasted. She told me that she grew up fixing her own cereal or toast and then being put out of the house by her mother by 9 and they were not allowed back in until supper time, after her father came home. She never had lunch and it never occurred to her to fix it for her children. No one had taught her how to love.
We learn love by watching our parents and then learning these lessons of love. These new Life groups are supposed to help us learn how to love. As we share our struggles and successes, we accept and appreciate each other. When I hear one friend talk about her expectant daughter I hear the love and see her kind heart. Another asks for prayers for her son, again I see the struggles and concerns. As we study together and pray together, it is hard not to come to love these awesome ladies. They are definitely teaching me about love. They do not shirk from any idea of helping others. Thank you God for giving us families to love us and friends to love us and accept us as family. I am glad that my children have learned love from others as well as myself. I have failed to show love in a lot of circumstances but others have taught them and I am glad that they have these relationships to teach them love. Lisa, Karen, Brian and Dorian, your momma love you and I am so proud of each of you......but not nearly as proud as your heavenly father is to call you His.

Wednesday

I thought yesterday was hectic but it was a breeze compared to today. Long day, frustrating day but God is good. I am so blessed and have so much to be thankful for. I am thankful that I have family that cares about me and for me. I am thankful that I can go to a doctor whenever I want and have all the medicines that I need. I am thankful that I have food and a comfortable home to rest. I am thankful that I have shoes that fit and am clean. I am thankful that those around me lift me up instead of putting me down. I am thankful that I do not have to beg to have family take me in. I am so blessed and I do not deserve one of the items above that I have. I take so much for granted and tonight I am truly stopping to name my blessings. I worry about having too much to do when those around me are trying to get a wheelchair with foot rests so their bare feet don't drag. I complain at the cost of gasoline when others have no vehicles. I complain about having to rush lunch to go to an emergency call when those I am checking on haven't ate since supper the night before. I have no clue why God has seen fit to bless me but He sure has. His love for me is too immense for me to even comprehend. Why would anyone give up everything for me? I hope that I can in a small small way show love to those that I minister too. I hope that at the end of the day, I have shown more love than judgment; more acceptance than frustration; I hope that I grow in love daily and love others as they are. 40 days of community will hopefully bring me to learn a deeper love and display to all those I come in contact to. I pray that I will be saturated with His love.

Tuesday

Today was hectic and good. I am trying to stay focused on God and think on good things. Tonight is HOPE group where I help facilitate. This group stands for Healing Of Past Emotions. These ladies show tremendous courage and want to become whole. They are incapable of seeing themselves as loveable to God or anyone else. I want each woman to see themselves as the diamond God created them to be. Just because others have chosen to throw junk on us over the years does not change what they are...beautiful. A diamond is a diamond regardless of what is covering it up. My part is encouraging them to slowly uncover the stuff that they themselves or others have thrown on them. It is so rewarding when they begin to see small "glints" of the diamond they are. I am so blessed to be part of this ministry.
Thinking about these women reminds me of the children at Casa. Karen and all those who care for them daily are helping them at a younger age see their worth. So even though it is extremely difficult to deal with these children day after day, they are receiving love and learning value in themselves. I know everyone complains that people of selfish but I see so many people who lack any self confidence and see themselves as worthless....Well I must leave for HOPE group, pray for those in your life that needs healing and affirm those around you and tell them their value. Mi ninos, I love you, Lisa, Karen and Brian. God truly gave me three sparkling diamonds in you.

Monday

Group was good tonight and thought provoking. We talked some about loving the unloveables and we all agreed how difficult it is to love the child abuser, or sexual predator. We don't believe that it is even possible to love those people but we are just as terrible in God's sight. He sees every hideous sin and loves us irregardless. Kinda unbelievable. God calls us to love not special people but even the unloveables. WOW. We are kinda learning to love as a group and the sharing we have in the group helps me tremendously. As I go to bed tonight, my prayer is for God to saturate my life. I want to be full of Him so there is no room for anything else.

Sunday

Day one of 40 days of community. As I ended 40 hours of fasting with taking communion this morning I was struck with how much thought was consumed by the fast. the hunger was ever present in my life. Why don't I feel that much continuing hunger after God? I have become complacent in how things are and something is missing. I want to be consumed, I want to be as hungry for God every moment as I was without food. We are amazed that someone would ask us to go without food for 40 hours but what if someone asked us to go without praising or serving God for 40 hours. I am ashamed to admit that the food one is the harder one for me. I hope to change this. Everything I do, I want to show God and his love. Let my words be His words.
Tomorrow night is BJ's Buddies night. We will be starting on the journey of 40 days of learning to love. I think the real hard part will be finding opportunities to love the unloveables in our midst. We are committed to doing some serving everyday, whether a card of appreciation, visit to hospital or reaching out to our community. And it is not just me reaching out but me and others reaching out. forming community to serve community. i have a lot to learn in these days to come. Bring on this journey .....I am ready....!

Saturday

Well it has been 24 hours of fasting, and I just keep thinking how fasting for 40 hours sounds so hard but when I think about it now it seems like a blip. I mean God has done so much for me and I rarely do anything to focus on Him for more than a couple moments. It is so hard for me to center my mind on him for any length of time. I want God to consume my life...I want my life to reflect HIM.
Tomorrow is the first day of 40 days of community for the Belpre church. I am excited about this and all that we can do in the coming days for our community. Our life group; BJ's buddys is going to do one act of community each day. So as I end my day, I am thinking on two words; love and community.

April 4th

I am going to try to do a better job at blogging. It helps me sort things. As for a recap; the fridge, stove, microwave and dishwasher are installed and operating. We redid the water line to fridge, tore out the built in oven, installed the range, hung microwave above range and installed the dishwasher. It was not without problems, but it is done.
This is exciting times and I think a time of opportunities for my spiritual life. Life is busy. Sharon and I are facilitating a ladies Life Group on Monday's nights and also facilitating a ladies support group on Tuesday nights. Both are going well. At church at Belpre we will begin 40 days of community on Sunday. To prepare for this some are doing a 40 hour fast that started tonight at 8p and will end on Sunday morning with communion. I have decided to fast, and pray that I will be humbled and strengthened and God will be honored. I want to use this blog to keep track of daily activities and focus. the Monday night group we have named BJ's Buddies as we meet at BJ's. Our group is going to complete 40 tasks for community; inside the church and out. The ladies are awesome and inspire me so much.
It is 9:18pm and I am already wanting to nibble on something. Not a good sign. Pray that our group and our church family will make a difference in our community during the upcoming days. I am ready for change in my life and ready to let God have his way in my heart and lead me where I need to go .