New Year's Eve 2007

Wow, where did 2007 go? Last I knew it was Easter....As 2007 ends I think of family, those of blood and heart. I have had the pleasure of getting to know Dorian, my new son. He is a delight. As a momma, I worry about my children and hope they do better than I did with marriage and happy every afters......So when Karen fell in love with someone from another country while living outside the USA, I was ready to dislike him. But when I think of Dorian, I smile. He adores Karen, loves and worships God and is absolutely wonderful with the children at Casa. They call him "Poppy". Dorian is good for Karen and keeps reminding her "tranquillo". He makes her laugh and he makes me laugh. He is a keeper. Karen is coming home this Thursday for her last trip home before she "cleaves and leaves". And then we have the wedding coming up March 7th in Honduras. Karen keeps me real and follows her heart, I am so proud of her.
This has been a good year for my mom. She is starting to be herself after Dad's death. Not that she does not miss him tremendously, but she is learning to live again and I love to see her tease and giggle and enjoy life. She was sort of fish out of water after losing Dad as her life was taking care of and loving him. So it has been good to see her re emerge.
Lisa, my princess is truly coming into her own. She has a good job, bought a new car and continues to care about others. She is so kind and gentle. She has a little sister through Big Brothers, Big Sisters and she is truly a wonderful big sister by taking in all sorts of neat stuff together in Columbus. Lisa shows up at the airport to pick me up from coming home from Honduras with chocolate wrapped up with purple ribbon. She is a sensitive child. She has truly evolved into self supporting adult and buys me more than I buy her. She has no where to go from here but up...She is quieter and not as obvious but shares her caring in huge ways. Call me proud!
Brian is maturing right in front of me. He is searching his way through what is truly his and what is only he has been taught. He makes me proud by studying instead of being on computer or watching tv. Being responsible is not as easy when no one is watching and he is doing well! He is full of potential to make a difference in others lives. I am already a proud mama of him, but feel this is only the beginning.
My sister Sue is truly a close friend. Best of both to have your sister be your forever friend. She was one of biggest cheerleaders and helped me be who I am. She and husband Bill spoil me and always are there when needed.
Amanda and her family are so awesome. I count her as a daughter too, and her and Adam's children are my grandchildren too. She has gone over and above and has a perfect family. I admire her for her work ethic and being a great momma. Adam, he is simply the best!
Sharon, is the person who stands beside me day in and day out and encourages me to be a better me. She has been a cheerleader for so long, and never gives up. Her inner strength truly amazes me. When she sets her mind on something, watch out......She is one focused lady and I am very fortunate to have her in my life.
My heavenly Father is always faithful and true, and I fail sometimes daily. NOthing and I mean nothing can take the place of the contentment I feel knowing that He love me no matter what and forgives me daily for my selfishness. As I begin 2008 I look forward to an awesome year. and I will post my resolutions for you all to hold me to.
I will read my Father's word more.
I will reach out to those outside my comfort zone.
I will exercise more and hopefully become healththier as I have so much to live for!
I will work on becoming a better steward of all that God has blessed me with.

So pray for me that I will stay focused and journey on, because this is only a journey, it is not the end.....I love you all!!

Christmas Eve

It is Christmas Eve and I am counting my blessings. I am blessed to be surrounded by loving, caring people. The surround me at work, at church and in my home. I sometimes complain and whine but the reality is that I have it good. Real good. I have a job where I actually get paid to help people. How many people get the awesome opportunity to get paid for their passion? I have the three most awesome children in the world. They inspire me and motivate me to be a better person day after day. My friends are my greatest cheerleaders and companions. The material things I just take for granted, like a nice house, heat, plenty of food and luxuries of every kind. But on this Christmas Eve I am humbled as I think about Jesus' birth. The birth of a person who has made all my blessings pale by comparison. Jesus Christ, Savior of the World. And Jesus is my savior, mine! Nothing I did earned this and nothing I do can keep it. This truly blows my mind. So as you share the holidays with your family, don't forget that yep we are celebrating a birth that gives us life and hope of forever. Merry Christmas All.

Sunday last day

we got up and went to church this morning. it was up to twenty degrees and a fluttering snow. It was so pretty and actually felt pretty warm. Good byes are sad so having difficulty saying funny things. I will let pics do the talking.

Saturday

Taylor and Brennen ready to go ice skating.
Amanda and Sharon stayed home to wrap some Santa gifts, so I stayed to lend support and rock Payton. Honestly, Amanda put on National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation and everyone just ran away. Oh well, Amanda and I enjoyed it, and I still laugh out loud at the squirrel in the christmas tree. My mind is going a hundred directions and not getting very far with any of them. Karen and Dorian have set a wedding date for March 7th. But before I worry about that I have Christmas and so much to do. I dread leaving Amanda and her family (even though Adam did bring up Family Fun Center during supper) If it wasn't for the cold I could stay forever. Payton is a perfect little guy and so cute. Brennen crawled up beside me after returning from outside play and fell asleep. I placed him in my lap and it was just like old times except he doesn't fit in my lap anymore. Boy time flies...
Speaking of which, my baby is on his way home from Searcy and I worry about road conditions. Wasn't it just a couple years ago that he slept in my arms? And Karen is getting married....and Lisa is all grown up and responsible....God has blessed me with wonderful children. I think he took pity at my inadequate skills and blessed me with special children.
I talked to Dorian online today and he is so awesome and so cute. When we can't see each others faces it makes it hard to tell when we are teasing each other. He is such a good guy!
Being here with Amanda and Adam has been so awesome. They are so happy and are such good parents. I don't know how they do it. Adam was definitely an answer to prayers as I believe Dorian is tambien. I have done nothing but eat since I got here, so I may not fit into worker clothes.

Friday

Today it was sunny and cold. It was minus 2 degrees. I baby sat while Sharon and Amanda went shopping. Brennen did not go to sleep and got up from nap after one hour. I fed Payton a bottle and then we all snuggled on the couch. Payton loves to cuddle and Brennen always has. The shoppers came home after picking up Taylor after school and then we left to go pick up Adam at work and then was off to buy a Christmas tree. When we got to the store Brennen was a sleep and Sharon opted to stay in car with him and Payton so I could go in with Adam, Amanda and Taylor.
Well, where the trees are was inside, or at least inside walls but no heat. In the 5-10 minutes it took for them to find a good tree, I quickly became numb. I finally understood what Amanda meant when she says your snot freezes. I had no recognition that there was anything in my nose until I felt it freezing in my nose. A weird feeling. I had my hood up, gloves on and coat zipped up. To say it is freezing does not mean anything here. If it makes it above zero it is a warm day. By the time we got to the car, I was complaining once again about the cold. I honestly do not understand how people ever get used to this cold. We came home and once again we waited for supper. It is just like Christmas, waiting for supper and guessing what it will be. The lady brought an excellent pasta dish, garlic toast and home made cookies. I can't eat any of it but they said it was good. I ate leftovers and goodness knows we have some awesome leftovers. Then we loaded up the car to go to look at Christmas lights. Grand Forks has a lot of beautiful homes and driving around looking at the lights reminded me of my childhood when we used to go dive around. I am still cold but the rest of car was hot. Right now Adam is putting the lights on the Christmas tree and we are listening to Christmas music. Life is good, but it is cold, very cold......I will never think that 20 degrees is cold again. I would give anything for double digit temps...11 or 12 sounds heavenly. Tomorrow, Brian and his friend Oliver start home for Christmas break, hope they do not encounter any bad weather. The children were asking if we could go ice skating, and something tells me that would not be in a heated place. Hard to vote against the kids but while I would love to see them skate, I do not want my nose to freeze again. Maybe I could watch from the car....

Thursday

Well I got to stay inside today. just talked to my kids and played with Brennen and held Payton. Besides that I was on internet and watched tv and ate every other moment. Life is good. Tomorrow the plan is to go buy a christmas tree and put it up. remember the daughter in National Lampoon? Where she almost froze while her family hiked for a tree? Well that will probably be me tomorrow. If we are lucky we might have a squirrel in our tree so we could laugh. Adam went back to work today. Brennen got up and asked where his daddy was. When I told him that he went to work, he said "but I want him here with me". He is definitely Daddy's boy. I wish i had one tenth of his energy. Watched part of the democratic debate today online ...thought provoking. The thing that stuck was that someone said and I dont even remember who; We as Americans need to be patriotic about something other than war. thought provoking, huh?
Also watched a movie about the Cuban missile crisis, scary. It is 2 degrees outside air temp. It is never above zero with wind chill. I am starting to spaz about Christmas.....so much to do. I am sure Brian will help a lot once he gets home first of week. I think we will give Lisa Griswald, but dont tell her, so she will be surprised. Brian,,,not too sure maybe some underwear and socks. For Karen, probably some more pillows for her bed. It only takes around 10-14 minutes to clear her bed at bedtime. Well it is beauty sleep time...

Wednesday

Today it is cold. The weather says it is 10 degrees but it feels cold. We went out today to a tour of University of North Dakota Hockey facility and it is awesome. The part that worried me today was "blowing snow warning" that has crawled across the tv screen all day. There is 2-4 inches snow expected but a lot of wind. Today was bad enough.....it can take my breath away. I truly feel like a sissy here. Payton is doing well and such a good baby. He is so darn cute. Back to the Hockey arena, the floors are marble and all yepp ALL seats are leather there are tv sets everywhere so that you can not be anywhere inside the doors and not see the game. So you can go to concession stand or restroom and watch tvs along your path to and from and while there. A gentleman who played hockey here and went on to have casinos in Las Vegas paid over 100 million to have the arena built. This is definitely hockey country.
I feel somewhat guilty, Amanda and Adam's church is bringing in supper every day and we could do that but the church insists on doing this. Brennen is crazy, he woke me up this morning saying that his daddy told him to. I will have to talk to Adam about this! We picked up Taylor after school and then went to eat at a Bistro. It was good stuff. I dreaded running to the car for the trip home. It is cold!
Brian is doing well with his finals and we will meet up with him and his friend Oliver in Columbus Monday evening. Lisa was excited that Griswald used the litter box without coaxing. I may have her keep him a while longer if it works out good for her. Karen and Dorian are well and warm. Brenne is sitting down and we are all watching Frosty the snowman. Brennen and Amanda are eating sherbert but I can't bring myself to eat something cold. Can't wait to see the windchills tomorrow....it makes me cold to think about it.

Monday

Much to my dismay, we went outside today. We went to Super Target then to lunch. The Target was awesome and we bought several newborn outfits and some cute little "boots" for his North Dakota winters. We went to Applebees next and all looked good until they told us their heat was not working. They had electric heaters everywhere. Imagine if you will, no heat and 0 degree weather. Yep, it was warm and was not below freezing. I ate with my coat on and was still cold. Then Amanda and Adam dropped me, Sharon and Brennen off at the mall while they went by Adam's work and then took Payton to his first dr. appt. We quickly learned every bathroom in the mall as Brennen was having to go every few minutes. My baby called and he had his first final today and will be home this weekend. I am so proud of him. Talked to Lisa and she is frustrated with Griswald, (doesn't surprise me, he could frustrate Mother Teresa) Talked to Karen on line and she is good too. It is now -7 degrees, I can't imagine living here in winter. But it is a clean, modern city that is full of young people. Taylor is here today and it is good to see her. She read an entire book to me tonight. I changed Payton and I was a little slow and he peed all over himself. By the way, the doctor said Payton is just fine. I am tired and need to close. Enjoy the pics.

ND Day 3

Payton and his quilt that Lisa made him and me and the boys!

ND day two

Well I slept for almost 11 hours last night and feel well rested today. Payton is even cuter today if that is possible. He is truly a beautiful baby. It warmed up over night and it was 7 degrees by afternoon. So with the warm spell, Adam and Brennen went outside to play and shovel. I watched from the window. Brennen is simply B rennen, a very energetic three year old who makes me laugh. He asked me to lie down with him to take his nap this afternoon. He never quits talking even as he goes to sleep. The Durbin household is really celebrating. Brennen's adoption was final last week so he is now officially a Durbin. Well they got him a cake and celebrated his adoption and he calls the cake his "Durbin cake". Adam being Brennen's daddy legally is such a answer to prayers. Adams does an excellent job taking care of his family. Taking it easy today just watching christmas shows and holding the boys. As for the cold, I can't even imagine going outside to play in this cold but I guess it is what you get used to.

Another Journey, this time to ND

Last night I went to Columbus to get ready to fly out again. I have got to plan my vacations in the summer time from now on! I spent the night with Lisa and she is watching Griswald for me while I will be in North Dakota. She had bought Griswald a Christmas outfit which is really appropriate since he is name for Clark Griswald of National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation fame. The Santa outfit was really cute and he didn't even mind it. I think it was keeping him warm. Lisa deserves a medal for taking people to the airport. She got up at 4:30a this morning to take us to airport and on a Saturday at that. I dressed warm, trying to always be prepared. The flight to Minneapolis was non eventful which is a good way for flights to be. When we landed at Minneapolis we were told that it was -1 degrees air temp. That is cold! Soon enough we boarded the plane headed to Grand Forks, North Dakota. As we were settling in, the pilot announced that there would be a delay while the airplane was refueled. It didn't need fuel to make it to Grand Forks, but it would need it before it's return flight to Minneapolis. According to the pilot, the fuel could not be got at Grand Forks as their fuel was frozen. So Minneapolis at -1 was warm? That should have been a good clue. Eventually we got off the ground and before long we landed at Grand Forks. As we landed, the pilot announced that the air temp was -18. They did not tell us the wind chill, a person can only take so much at one time and they probably figured that we would not get off the plane if we knew the wind chill temps. Amanda and Adam arrived at the airport to pick us up and she who just had a baby three days previously, was in jeans; real jeans not maternity. When we arrived at their house we got bunches and bunches of hugs from Brennen. He is so big now but he is so silly. Payton is probably the prettiest baby I have ever seen as a newborn. (excluding my three). He has the perfectly shaped head and the cutest button nose and really long toes. We have tried to get him awake all day to no avail. He wakes up just to eat. I think he might have his nights and days mixed up. All in all, it has been a good day. Amanda is just like a daughter to me and I could not miss out on this opportunity to see their latest. And I would go anywhere to visit Brennen. I will try to add some pics and will try to write more tomorrow. If my fingers don't freeze overnight....

December 2nd

How did it get to be December? Last I knew it was4th of July. This time of year gets a person to thinking and I am thinking through writing. Last night I watched my favorite college football team lose. Not sure how it happened. WVU only had to beat a sub par team and then play for the national championship. WVU has so much talent and is such an awesome team, but last night they did not play like one. The anxiety that I felt in the final quarter and the disappointment at the end of the game was very real. How could such a good team have such a bad night?
How many bad nights have I had? How many nights has my heavenly father sat and watched me be less than I am capable of? Probably several.
Church this morning was thought provoking, giving instead of receiving. We were reminded that we need to make a list for giving just like receiving? Well I am making my list, this is my fantasy list of what I would love to give.
I would give the Red Cross in Marietta a new modern building and call it the Jan Packer building after an awesome woman. I would give Community Action enough money to have no waiting list for meals on wheels delivery. And to my mom I would give her an on call aide to drive her where ever she wanted to go, clean whatever she wanted or just spend time with her. And my children, Lisa would have a lovely condo near work and Brian would have free air miles to visit whenever he wants. For Karen I would give her an unlimited bank account for Casa and those wonderful grand children of mine. Jason and Jen would have a wonderful large home with a big fenced yard and Amanda and Adam would own their own day care chain that would make a difference in so many children's lives. Every elderly person in Washington County I would give home help twice a week and someone to visit them too. To show my selfishness, I want something for myself. A soup kitchen/transitional homeless shelter for families.
I love to dream but dreams are the first step to making it reality. My reality of what I want to give this season is
gifts to the elderly that I deal with daily, gifts of socks, gloves and hats.
and for the ones that have those things I want them to have something that makes them feel special and thought of. I want to make a huge Christmas dinner and with help of others deliver meals to some special people. I am not alone in these types of wishes, everyone I know wants to make a difference to others I am lucky that I have those around me that will assist me and encourage me. Tomorrow is the first day of the week and there are many things to be done, I need to get the annual poinsettia to my mother, you see Dec. 1st was Mom and Dad's anniversay and I have given her one each year. And to my special sister who is having a birthday on Tuesday I give one also. She is spending her birthday in Amish country, a gift from her husband. Tuesday I am having supper with a wonderful group of women who inspire me. A busy week but a thankful week. One that I can use to spend with exceptional people that God has blessed me with. I am rambling, so I will close. I will post a pic of one of my Honduran grandchildren........