New Year

I am not one for New Year's Resolutions.  I have taken the month of January to try to decide what I want to accomplish during 2013.  No huge decisions but I find myself making lists in my mind, kinda bucket lists for the year.  I will hopefully even add to them as I go along.  I will start with a few:

List for relationships
1.  Make sure those who I love know how important they are to me
2.  Spend one day or weekend, one on one with each of my children and those that are my family
3.  Speak words of value to those that I do value
4.  Pray for those that I am in relationship with


List for things to change:
1.  Erase all euphemisms from my language
2.  Eat healthier (a whole list in itself)
      change from margarine to butter
       make more food from scratch/limit additives
       eat more fish
       choose "healthy" junk food
       
3.  Give more of my resources to God
4.  Be more who I am
5.  Have lots more fun
6.  Study Bible more intensely
7.  Pray more specifically
8.  Lean on God more
9.  Make lots of home made items (soaps, granola, etc.)
10.  Cut down on disposables
11.  Buy less new


Well that is enough to hold me accountable for a while.  If anyone wants, feel free to tell me when you find me not keeping my list.  I want to live each day fully with all the passion I have.  I want to serve my heavenly father and develop a closer relationship with him.  I feel that I am on the cusp of witnessing awesome things by God.  

My Life

I am currently in Honduras visiting my daughter Karen, her husband Dorian and my precious grandson Korbin who will turn one year old on 21st. Karen is director of a children's home in Santa Ana Honduras.  I am giving details because some have told me I don't put enough details in my posts.  So I am trying to make this informative to those who do not know all that is going on in my life. 
I wish they lived closer but I know God is in control.  This year I am enjoying every minute and celebrating each day. 
Last year this time I was waiting in Ohio for Karen and Dorian to come home and give birth.  Their flight was scheduled to fly them home on November 22nd, six weeks before her due date.  She went into labor and and an emergency C-section was done in a clinic (they call it a hospital) here in Honduras.  He was tiny and I learned a lot about preemies.  They Karen developed a blood clot and there were a few days that I honestly did not know if we would lose them both.  Praise God they got healthy and were able to fly with me back to states in December.  They returned to Honduras end of January. 
I made the trip to see them for Easter and came back last Friday so that I could be here for Korbin's first birthday.  So this will make the second straight year that I will miss Thanksgiving and Sharon's birthday. 
Korbin is such a miracle and I thank God for him. 
Today I will begin to tell you a little about what life here is like.  If the internet stays on and Lord willing I will attempt to continue throughout my stay. 

First of all I miss heat.  It is currently 68 and very windy at 10:30 in morning.  It got down to 56 degrees last night.  Doesn't sound cold until you realize that there is no heat.  I won't complain as we are cozy and dress accordingly.  most people here live in small shacks made of wood or tin or even cardboard with dirt floors.  I am blessed to be able to stay with Karen and Dorian, in their apartment in Casa de Esperanza.  I will try to post some pics later but Korbin is wanting to be held and that is this grandma's priority. 

Difficult week

I start by stating God is good.  Even with difficult weeks, maybe especially with difficult weeks, God is good!  It seems that I have spent my week fighting.  Part of that is my job; fighting with a lady to stay in the hospital for treatment, fighting with a family who wants to move grandpa out so they can have his place and fighting with so little time for all that needs done.  This week I feel like I have been fighting with so much more though.  I am fighting with those who I thought were on my side.  The side to assist people.  Decisions are questioned or simply ignored, I am ignored by those that I tell my stories to, by saying there is nothing they can do.  I have been physically exhausted for a week or two and then the "fighting" has worn me down.  Most days I think I am the luckiest person on this planet.  I have the love of my God and my family.  I actually get paid to do what I feel is my mission in life.  Then I get the honor and privilege to serve with Love in Action.  But my attitude was stinky by Friday and when I received a call from a man wanting to work so he could have gasoline to make it to Toledo, I was honestly not feeling very giving.
I called and talked with him and he told me of car troubles and having parts replaced and now no money and he and his wife just wanted to get home.  I asked him many personal questions and he kept stating that he was willing to work for gasoline he did not want handouts.  I prayed and told him to meet me at Speedway station and have his identification with him.
Well God, Jesus or the Holy Spirit (maybe all three) worked on my heart and by the time I reached Speedway, I was willing to see what I could do to help.  It was very evident that the two have little to their names.  They are both on SSI and their shoes had holes.  He wanted to show me the part that got replaced,,,it was in the back seat with a giant iguana.  I thought the iguana was stuffed until it swung it's head around to me when I leaned in the window to talk with the wife!  Filled up the car with gasoline and he asked if there was any way that I could spare a bag of chips or something to "tide" them over until they reached home.  The sincerity of these two were priceless.  I told them to follow me to KFC and told them to order what they wanted to eat.  He wanted extra biscuits but when they told them they would be extra, he said no, even though I told him to get them.
They got the food to go as he said they had a long way to go to get home.  They both thanked me again and I told them that what was given to them was from a church who wants to show God's love to the world.  He then asked if I would have the church pray for them.  He said they gave their lives to God a year ago, but their life seems to have only gotten worse since then.  I prayed with them and assured them there would be more people praying for them than me.  They left with a smile on their faces and headed to Toledo.  I could have easily missed this moment by my attitude and only seeing what happened in my week.  I repented and asked God to forgive me for my selfishness.
I called them today and they made it home last night.  Please pray for Michael and his sweet wife.  Experiences like this sorta put my life in perspective.  I am blessed beyond imagination and loved by a passionate God.

Another wonderful day in Honduras

Today i was lazy. I actually went back to bed after Korbin woke up for day at 7am. Dorian took him and I headed back to slumberland. I thought I barely dozed off but I looked at my phone and it was 9am. I could have slept all day but I got up then. Karen had to tell me that would be like sleeping in until 11 at home.............hmm
I am going to try to post some pics here. One of the Guido's soon after I got up, one of Korbin sucking his thumb and put himself to sleep, and one of the 4th graders getting help with homework.
When I call Korbin's name he will look at me and I can make him smile. He was the cutest ever going to sleep laying on blanket on porch, sucking on his thumb. I think he is gonna be as cute as his grandma.
The children here at the home are always into something. Yesterday one of the staff was changing back into good clothes to catch the long bus ride home. When she went to get her new shoes to wear home, she found them drenched in water. She was devastated and crying (she never cries) She finally wore a pair of flip flops home and the shoes stayed here to dry. Karen and Dorian did their best to find the culprit. All circumstantial evidence points to Katy but they hated to punish on circumstantial. Today the five 4th graders came home with homework of long division. None knew how to do it. The staff working today are not able to do division so Karen and Dorian brought them to their back porch and at this time are still helping them. They have to make up their own problems and then do them correctly. Surprising to me, is Fernando. He thinks through in his head and makes his problems so that they come up even, no remainders. I think he has it down. The girls however are lost. I could never ever do this daily. Then there are the other almost twenty students with homework, including Rosa who is deaf/mute and she requires a lot of one on one work to do homework. Rosa may be the most intelligent child at Casa. If they can just direct it for good.
Then there is the child of my heart; Cindy Lou. Cindy failed her grade and is repeating fourth grade. Cindy has the capability of one day either being first lady president of Honduras or a mass murderer. It is too early to tell. These children require and demand so much time and attention that it makes me weary just watching others care for them. Through no fault of their own, they are wounded and damaged, living in a country with so safety nets and I wonder where they will end up as adults.
Then my mind wanders back to home and it seems such a sin of omission to continue to let those living in our communities do without. If each person in my church family could give 100 a month, there would be so much less hunger. And if they gave one hour each week, we would start seeing a difference. I feel that Belpre church is on the cusp of doing community and ministry like Jesus intended. I love my church family and can't wait to rejoin them in changing our world. But for now, I am content holding Korbin and making him smile or giggle seems like manna from heaven. Bye for now............

Hond continued

I am sleeping in Korbin's bedroom and so far he has not complained about my snoring. He sleeps on his back and barely moves all night. The only thing he does is to lift both feet into the air and then just let them drop. It took me a while the first night to figure out what he was doing to cause the noise. He sleeps from 7 or so until 4 or 5 am. He then eats a bottle and once you change him, he is back to sleep again. Since I am sleeping in the room, I am the one who gets up at the 4 or 5 am feeding. Last night was interesting. There are these ugly beetles everywhere and each morning they are lying on porch on their backs trying to turn over.
Last evening Korbin went to his bed and I decided to go to bed and read. I had the light off so as not to disturb him. I use my little rechargeable flashlight to read. I heard some wings fluttering somewhere above me but I am a veteran of Honduras and their wildlife, that was until I felt those wings on my neck. Needless to say, I screamed and ran to turn on the light. Yep it was one of the beetles. Then Karen tells me they come to light. No more reading for me!
Today was hot again. I got to spend my day with Korbin. Karen and Dorian came and went. As always happens in Honduras,We never see a dull moment. Karen left to go pick up children from school. Dorian came home as she left. Well as soon as she got the children in the van, it had a flat tire. So someone else went to bring kids back and Dorian went to check tire. He had to go buy another tire. In the mean time, Korbin and I were taking it easy. He got to take a bath/play in swim tub to cool off. Then this evening I was feeding him and he gave me the gift of a huge liquid bowel movement that instantly ran out of the diaper. I somehow managed to get it on my shorts, my shirt and also up my arm. Karen cleaned him as I tried to clean myself. Karen was doing this in between taking some maternity clothes to a pregnant lady who came to the gate asking for some clothes.
First day by myself (kinda of) and I placed him in his little seat and turned on the tv. Hey I think it was a soothing time for him (and me) Went to take shower early and as soon as i got the shampoo in my hair, the water started splurting and splattering. As more and more air (instead of water) came out, the water came out scalding hot. I was still trying to get shampoo out by burning myself and Karen told me that this would burn out the heater of shower. So I turned it off and got out and tried to use a cup in a very small sink to remove the soap from my hair. Well the water was mostly air there so i finally gave up. Now Karen is helping Pamela look up different types of art for homework due tomorrow and Terri is printing off examples of each kind. It is 8pm and she is not close to being done, and still has other homework. Yes she knew all last week while she was off that she had this homework. She will be up late tonight. Pamela and Bryan are in jr high and they catch bus to school around 6am. She gets up around 4am each day to prepare for her day.
Karen fixed a delicious dip and I ate two helpings. Interesting day but I have been blessed to be able to love on Korbin all day. God is good.

Honduras

Wow cant believe it has been a year since a blog post.
Bringing you all up to date. I got off work Thursday evening and drove to Columbus. Lisa and I had a strange meal at IHOP. We probably spent two hours there and only got breakfast items that I could cook myself in under 10 minutes. And we were the lucky ones. We had a kind, good waitress. Those around us had a waitress who was hospitality challenged. One table waited for probably an hour and then the manager brought them out a "to go'" bag and apologized and told them he "fixed it" himself. Hmmm. Makes one wonder who is actually cooking that the manager cooked their take out. And how do we know the manager knows how to cook? Another table behind us caught the manager while out on the floor and complained that she was supposed to have four crepes and only had two and they "were just thrown on plate". The manager apologized and gave them a free meal also. We then got our meals and they were okay. (Lisa's bacon had a little charcoal on it). then the table beside us was telling the waitress something wasn't right with their meal and she just sorta said hmm. how about that and walked off.
The whole experience was sorta like a black hole. Made me wish for the meal Lisa and I had before at Five Guys. The music was blaring but everyone seemed to get what they wanted.
Then back to Lisa's and Brian brought home a zillion (honest) bags of Easter candy from work. It seems Karen told him to get her some candy. I packed what I could in carry on and Brian and Lisa had to suffer with keeping the rest.
Went to bed early as it was an early morning flight Friday. Well my stomach did not do so well and I ended up during the night with what I thought was poisoning from the strange waitress. See, I have this strange theory that she was really the cook and was helping out with waitressing. Still feeling little queasy Friday morning but had good flights from C'bus to Atlanta and then from Atlanta to Teguc. I was impressed with Delta. The only stress invoking moments were at landing in Teguc. It appeared the plane did not touch down soon enough. We were hurtling down the runway and I could see the end and I thought there was no way the plane could slow enough to make the turn back to terminal. the pilot did manage a safe stop though and I was unsure if I should congratulate him or chastise him for scaring me.
There were at least three mission groups on my plane. Customs took awhile. The Customs lady said "welcome back" in English and I felt like I was an old pro. Grabbed by bags and went through very crowed lines to finally reach the terminal where Dorian took my bags and Karen handed me Korbin. All was right with the world.
Very few people downtown Teguc. Went to Denny's for lunch and stomach felt much better. Will write more later and catch up on my days.

questions

1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
2. Which is worse, failing or never trying?
3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?
4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?
5. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?
6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?
7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?
8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?
9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?
10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?
11. You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?
12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?
13. Would you break the law to save a loved one?
14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?
15. What’s something you know you do differently than most people?
16. How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?
17. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?
18. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
19. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?
20. Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?
21. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?

Questioning how I live life

Have read some truly uncomfortable books the last few months. Radical and The Hole in the Gospel have really convicted me and try as I might to find fault with what they say, they appear to be very biblical. So I am currently on vacation with my daughter and son in law and friends that are family and find myself buying Radical Together. Wow.
I so much want to do what Jesus told us and go out and make disciples of all nations.......Instead, I find myself wanting others to come instead of me going. So do my ministries need to be going to people rather than expecting people coming to me. Hmm, WWJD? ouch. I am trying to let all this uncomfortableness settle into my heart. More than anything, I want to be what God wants, but in wanting, do I become something else?
A min epiphany has occurred and I am realizing that I just need to love, worship and adore Him and I will become what He desires through no action or changes on my part. The more I love and worship him, the more I become who I was created to be. I am called to love God and others.
Here goes.......................

Ask For Help and Just Trust!!!

Wednesday, February 02, 2011

Choose Faith and Ask for Help by Rick Warren

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.” Philippians 4:6 (NLT) "It does not bother God when you ask for help. He stands ready to help you in every moment of life." When faced with the reality of a situation that is overwhelming, the best thing you can do is focus on God. The disciples, in Matthew 8, knew that Jesus could do something about the storm that threatened their lives as they were tossed on the sea. Their answer to the overwhelming storm was to ask Jesus for help. “The disciples went to him and they woke him up, shouting, ‘Lord save us, we are going to drown” (Matthew 8:25 NLT). Why is it that we wait until it gets really bad before we think we have to pray? One of the keys to dealing with anxiety is to cry for help earlier because God wants to help. Instead of trying to live life on your own and let the worry overwhelm you, turn to God. He wants you to live life connected to him, talking to him, and getting connected with others because when you try to do it on our own and never ask for help, worries just multiply. Maybe it’s hard for you to admit your needs. Maybe you think no one cares. Maybe you’re convinced you know the answer and no one else does. I think a lot of people don’t ask for help because they don’t want to be a bother to anyone. It does not bother God when you ask for help. He stands ready to help you in every moment of life. “Tell God what you need and thank him for all he has done” (Philippians 4:6 NLT). Talking to God in prayer is the single most effective cure for worry, and it needs to be the attitude of your life. Our verse today gives us the formula for how this works. “Pray about everything.” First, you talk. As you talk to God about everything, you will find the anxiety level lessening in your life. “Tell God what you need.” That’s the second thing. A lot of times people go to God in prayer and tell God about everything and everyone else, but don’t share their needs with him. Tell him what you are worried about! “Thank him for all he has done.” There is something about gratitude that lessens anxiety and opens the door to peace and incredible faith in your life. No matter what you’re going through in life right now, there is something you can look back on and say, “God, I’m grateful for that.” So hang on to that.

We Really Are Terrific....Celebrate It!!! :)

An excerpt from
Oh Thank Goodness, It's Not Just Me!
by BJ Gallagher

It's so easy for women
to slip into self doubt
and feeling inadequate.
After all,
we shoulder a lot of responsibilities -
being supportive of our mates,
nurturing our children,
staying in touch with extended family,
holding down jobs
while holding down the fort at home.

No wonder we sometimes feel
anxious,
exhausted,
insecure,
second guessing ourselves.

We need to know
we're not alone.
We need to hear
that other women
share our experiences.

"Atta girl" never sounded so sweet
as when coming from the lips
of another woman.
She understands,
she's been there, done that.
She gets it -
she gets me.

We take turns
encouraging,
supporting,
cheering one another on.

We learn to do it for ourselves, too.
Just reach right over your shoulder, girl,
and pat yourself on the back.

You're terrific,
and you and I both know it.

Another Day in Honduras

Time is going quickly here in Honduras and while there are so many seemingly hopeless situations here there is some awesome things taking place. The children here as Casa take for granted that Karen gets up at 5:30am each day to begin the day. This morning Dorian got up and left at 6am to take Rosie and Reina to town for Teleton. Lots of people put in long days with little or no pay to make these Casa kid's lives a little better.
Take Sunday for example, a man from around Teguc. came to gate here at Casa because his house was falling over the mountain in a mud slide. He came to Casa because he knew that people associated with Mark C. were here at Casa. This man has worked with Mark before but Mark is currently in US. so he showed up here after a several hour bus ride. The message was passed along and hopefully with donations, help will come. The people know that Mark C. helps people. No he does more than help people, he cares deeply about people and the people know that.
The people at the dump know that Marc T has began a ministry there and know that every Wednesday, there will be food.
And the children that i have seen grow and mature, it is so awesome to see those who could barely walk when they came to live here, now run and jump and attend kindergarten. And another who was quite a problem with throwing fits and biting and kicking, is now much calmer and no longer shows her anger through striking out with violence. Yes they misbehave still but not like they did when they first came. And the little one, Josue, Karen said that he was barely alive when the state took him. Today he sat on my lap and gave me kisses as I threatened to chew his toes. He runs everywhere and is possible getting spoiled. I am thankful that I have the awesome opportunity to glimpse these awesome examples of love. Please pray that God will continue to use Casa as an instrument of His love.

Labor Day

Different kinda day. There is one inspector in Honduras that inspects all 400 childrens' homes and today he came to Casa de Esperanza. They do not show up unannounced, he calls and tells you that you have to come and get him and take him to your childrens home. So Dorian went to Tegucigalpa to get him. I helped Karen a little by cleaning her office and going through their meds to make sure there were no expired meds, The sad part is that the ones that were expired we sent to the local clinic where they can use them. The inspector and his assistant were here for hours and he talked and he talked and he talked. Karen introduced me to him and she told him about my job with the elderly and he had lots of questions for me. I think he talked with Karen more than he inspected. They had some boxed of expired cheerios and the inspector asked if he could have them.
For lunch had rice and from scratch french fries. Only ate 3 fries as I figured it would be a carb overload.
Dorian has asked for his old room mate at Baxter to come and help him with his job as minister. Dorian feels that when he is in school, he does not have the time needed to minister as he should. So he offered his friend part of his salary ($300 monthly) to assist him. So the friend arrived and Dorian was not here, he was on the long drive taking the inspector back to city.
I hung up a few clothes on clothesline only to have Karen scold me for not hanging them correctly. I admit to being out of practice in hanging out clothes. I finished my book today that I had from library and tried to clean Karen and Dorian's apartment a little to help them out as they only had one cook/cleaner working today. I had plans for roasted turkey breast with mashed potatoes and rolls that I brought in my carry on. Well the stove temperture was set and I marked the time. It was supposed to take around 2 hours to cook. I even had the potatoes cut and sitting in pan of water ready to turn on. Karen came to apartment and told me the oven was not on! I did not turn on the propane to the stove so it had set in a cold oven for 1 1/2 hours. so plan B was called for.
Dorian had got a bag of frozen seafood at PriceMart, so decided that this was plan B. Decided to try alfredo sauce on it and cooked some noodles. Also added a can of corn for veggies. The seafood had octopus, squid, mussels, shrimp and snow crab. And the squid and octopus were not chopped fine but very evident with tentacles going everywhere. Well I couldn't eat the noodles but had some on a tostada. The octopus and squid tasted like fishy rubber and you could chew and chew and chew and eventually you just gave up and swallow it. To make it funnier, Dorian's friend ate with us and was very polite but declined seconds. He kept asking, " What is this?" Poor guy.
I got ahead of myself. While I was preparing the turkey breast, Karen was beginning to help the children with homework. There are two local ladies who also help with homework. I do not know how Karen does it. I would have shock collars on them all:) Fernando got a bunch of word wrong at school and he had to write each one correctly several times. Well he was writing several times but not correctly. Ana was working on multiplication tables and kept trying to look back for the answers. So at any one time there are probably 10-12 children trying to complete homework in the kitchen area.
Oh and I forgot about lunch. Doris came from school but never ended up at table to eat. so I went to check on her. She was sitting on commode and told me she had to "poo poo" so I went back to kitchen. A little later one of the girls told Karen that Doris needed more toilet paper. Karen went to check and sure enough, Doris was just beginning her "time of the month" but kept sitting there on the commode unsure what to do. Poor girl. She later was sitting on my lap and kept giggling, I soon knew what the giggling was about. Doris was expelling gas and giggling. But Doris is hard to get upset with.
I took little Josue outside which they were working on homework and Rosie came along. She picked dandelions and gave them to Josue to blow away. It was cute. Now they are saying that all schools are closed tomorrow and Karen is trying to figure out about an appointment tomorrow at hospital secuela.
It was another wonderful day in Honduras

Worship Day

It is a beautiful morning in Honduras and I am alone in the apartment trying to wake up and get ready for worship. God is good, I say that a lot but that is such an understatement. My God is so magnificent it is truly beyond my comprehension. His unfailing love sets a standard that we as humans come up so short on. He loves me without reservation, no matter how many times I screw up. The fact that he sacrificed his son for me is incomprehensible. The fact that I sacrifice so little for Him is truly pitiful. But for today I will be thankful for this awesome, tremendous gift and be honored to be called His.

The rain returns

It rained off and on all night, sort of a comforting sound on the metal roof. Towards morning I did hear the "lizards" that Karen told me about. It still worries me that Dorian calls them scorpions but he insists that it is not scorpions like I think? Right before bed karen told me not to worry that they stay on ceiling, the only problem is they sometimes find droppings on bed in the room I am sleeping. Talk about focusing on keeping my mouth closed while sleeping:). So when i heard them, I just pulled sheet over my head and went back to sleep. The children were already at school when I go up. Just Josue, Marjorie and Nohemy were here. and the girls went to kindergarten at noon. School here is over at 12:30 for others, unsure how much they can learn is such a short time. Wish there were funds to send them all to private school. Karen and the three were "sorting" beans. Looking for worms in the beans actually. I can't see well enough that close up to tell the good from the bad but the children enjoyed it. Marjorie sat on my lap and let me love on her a lot today.
Josue lost one of his shoes and Karen was looking for it. She looked behind the tv and yelled mouse. Those of you who know Karen know that snakes, spiders, etc do not scare her but mice, she screams like a girl and runs! The mouse was dead so I got it and took it out and threw it in dumpster area. I came back and moved tv to clean up it's nest and yep, there were five babies under the tv. Reina and me were trying to sweep up the babies into a dustpan but a couple decided they could run and would run under the tv and we would move it again and off they would run. Well Dorian came to see what was going on and he took care of the babies in a somewhat violent matter. Then it was discovered that something had a small nest in bottom of tv and Dorian had to take off covering of tv and we cleaned it off.
I got to go with Dorian to pick up the children at school and then we had lunch. Rice, beans, and a shredded sort of barbequed meat. It was good and I cleaned my plate. I then came back to Karen & Dorian's apartment to check email and lay down on couch and fell asleep. We later ran into town to pick up a few items. I was desperate for caffeine and in search of tea. It was so foggy, it was hard to see the road and the dozens of people walking the roads. No regular tea bags were to be found where we went but found some other goodies. Returned home and Karen and Dorian went to church. Stacy, a lady who is staying here and helping at Casa, must have heard me moaning as she came to door and offered me some Liption tea bags. Life is good once again and I have a new best friend!
I think Karen is getting off tomorrow and we will go to market. We got some bananas today but cant wait for more fresh fruit. Karen gave me a piece of a fruit here today that might be guava? It was good. Always an experience here. Saw some of the OSU Marshall game, and although it is only 8pm here my body feels like it is 10p like at home. Can't wait for another day of adventure tomorrow.

It was the best of days, it was the worst of days.

I woke up really excited to be on my way to visit Karen and Dorian. Beautiful day, wonderful flights and Dorian was there at airport to meet me. He told me that Karen still had no idea I was coming. that was a really good day
Dorian and a minister from Ojojona and his wife were on their way to the the tegucigalpa dump where hundreds work digging through garbage for plastic bottles and other things to recycle. Some actually live at the dump. Oh and you see men, buzzards and cattle all fighting for scraps of food that have been thrown away and are rotting. To get to the dump was a lengthy process. The road that is usually taken is washed out due to all the rains. On the road up mountain to dump, there were numerous places where hillsides have slipped into the road. The trash seemed to be everywhere as the rain had washed all down to the bottom and it lie in ditches where some were setting it on fire to get rid of it. There were people everwhere working, trying to shore up the foundations of their home, their hillsides, etc. and mud everywhere.
We eventually reached the dump and the smell seemed much worse than ever before. There was two to three inches of mud that smelled like poop everywhere. Dorian had me take off my watch and leave camera so it would not be taken from me. As soon as we pulled in the crowds started coming to the vehicles. I was privileged to be allowed to place tortillas on top of bowl of rice and beans and insert a plastic spoon and hand to those gathered there. Dorian was also passing out water. they kept coming, mostly men but lots of boys and women also wanting some food. There seemed to be so much more trash there, and oh the stench. Dorian had brought me his boots to wear to keep me somewhat clean. The food was all gone and I found myself really sad that just this morning I was in a society where we throw away everything and at noon, I was amongst seemingly "throw a way people" I simply cannot fathom what it would take for me to rummage through rotting garbage, trash and dead animals to find plastic bottles that I could turn in for a few pennies. And if it was a good day, maybe find some lunch amongst the debris? There was a lady with a baby there and another one who is very pregnant. There are little boys that should be in school and having hugs and kisses from loving parents that instead jockey for position amongst the men. We left and made our way slowly back down the mountain. It was the worst of days..........
Then Dorian and I finally made it to Santa Ana and he took me over to the clinic and walked in the back way and hid in their apartment. He then went back out and entered the other way and called karen (who was with the children) to tell her he needed something from their apartment asap. Well I was standing in their bedroom when she came through the dcor and I scared the poor girl half to death. It was priceless as I hung onto her and hugged and hugged. It was the best of days.............
OH and Karen said if i hear anything during the night it is just these little lizard like things crawling around eating mosquitos and such. Welcome to Honduras!

I made it through the day!

Yep, I made it. No candy either. This is hard but I will overcome. Did pretty well with eating today and not really hungry. that isn't to say that I am not craving candy, chips or even a bag of marshmallows. I can almost taste the sweetness as I think about them. Oh well that won't help so I will quit naming what I can't quit thinking about.
I was able to exercise today by spending 40 minutes on my "gazelle".
tonights meeting of SEALS at church was exciting. Can't wait to dive in a little more.
I am so blessed that God is beside me in my journey.............I can do this, I can do this, I can do this..............

How many times can you start over?

I almost hate putting this in writing but I need to so that I can't back out of this. I need to start over with so many things, but at the forefront is my weight and health. So here is the plan. I am going to Honduras in November sometime and I am committing myself to losing some weight before I visit Karen and Dorian. So I have September and October, two months to buff myself up.
I know I can do nothing without God and with Him I can do anything so I am also starting over with my commitment to a reading plan of His word instead of what seems interesting at the moment.
So here goes:
I intend to each healthier
exercise more
spend more time in prayer daily
read consistently with a purpose, God's word

I will struggle and I need all of you to support me, pray for me, and hold me accountable. Even when I try telling you I didn't really mean it or I have had a hard day and want excused.
So how do I expect to get there?
well as for eating healthier, I will not eat any snacks out of the machine at work (ouch that is going to be difficult) I will not eat any potato chips and no candy. Oh I can already hear the gum drops calling me.
Those who doubt me, I don't blame you, but get this: I start a tai chi class this week. I don't know what it is but it is a start and it is free so I am taking a step of faith. So I am inviting any of you who want to follow me on this journey of insanity, Ok, even more insane. So when November rolls around and I land in Honduras, I will be so transformed, that the children will no longer pat my belly and call out "gordo".
For today, it has begun and I will win this battle one day at a time.....

I Need To Be A Better Servant

Jesus measures greatness by service, not status by Rick Warren

Whoever wants to be great must become a servant. Mark 10:43 (MSG) "Jesus, however, measured greatness in terms of service, not status. God determines your greatness by how many people you serve, not how many people serve you. " The world defines greatness in terms of power, possessions, prestige, and position. If you can demand service from others, you've arrived. In our self-serving culture with its me-first mentality, acting like a servant is not a popular concept. Jesus, however, measured greatness in terms of service, not status. God determines your greatness by how many people you serve, not how many people serve you. This is so contrary to the world's idea of greatness that we have a hard time understanding it, much less practicing it. The disciples argued about who deserved the most prominent position, and 2,000 years later, Christian leaders still jockey for position and prominence in churches, denominations, and parachurch ministries. Thousands of books have been written on leadership, but few on servanthood. Everyone wants to lead; no one wants to be a servant. We would rather be generals than privates. Even Christians want to be "servant-leaders," not just plain servants. But to be like Jesus is to be a servant. That's what he called himself. While knowing your shape is important for serving God, having the heart of a servant is even more important. Remember, God shaped you for service, not for self-centeredness. Without a servant's heart, you will be tempted to misuse your shape for personal gain. You will also be tempted to use it as an excuse to exempt yourself from meeting some needs. God often tests our hearts by asking us to serve in ways we're not shaped. If you see a man fall into a ditch, God expects you to help him out, not say, "I don't have the gift of mercy or service." While you may not be gifted a particular task, you may be called to do it if no one who is gifted at it is around. Your primary ministry should be in the area of your shape, but your secondary service is wherever you're needed at the moment. Your shape reveals your ministry, but your servant's heart will reveal your maturity. No special talent or gift is required to stay after a meeting to pick up trash or stack chairs. Anyone can be a servant. All it requires is character. It is possible to serve in church for a lifetime without ever being a servant. You must have a servant's heart. How can you know if you have the heart of a servant? Jesus said, "You can tell what they are by what they do" (Matthew 7:16 CEV).

National Lampoon has nothing on me!

I have laughed endlessly at National Lampoon Vacation movies. Well let me tell you that it is only funny to because it is about someone else. Well I am living one myself right now. Being an adventuresome person, Sharon and I decided we would take Brennen home to North Dakota instead of her and him flying. Lisa and Brian decided to join us for this trip. Well I worked all day Tuesday getting off at 4 and hoping to by pulling out for the start of the adventure by 5 . Work was wild and crazy and very fast paced. I came home to find out that Sharon's jeep would not start as she tried to leave her work to come home. She had to have her brother come rescue her and bring her home. The Jeep was left to fend for itself. Well all it takes is something like a change of plans to start the dominoes to fall. Luckily we were not planning on taking the Jeep so we could deal with that. Sorta of a stress inducing start but it could be overcome. I literally backed out the door of house while keeping Griswald from nipping us as he was angry that he was not going with us.
We were off to Columbus and picked up Lisa and Brian. Actually got their luggage in the trunk and it closed! Brennen was wanting to watch his dvds. With great anticipation he opened his transformers dvd to fine Annie and not Transformers disc in case. He then opened another one and it was High School Musical. He looked downcast and told us that sometimes his mama gets the discs confused and puts them in the wrong cases. He simply exclaimed "Nuts!" and watched High School Musical.
We were cruising right along leaving Columbus when we screeched to a halt and then crept along and made maybe 5 miles in 45 minutes. I was beginning to wonder if we were ever going to make it out of Ohio. Lisa saved the day for Brennen by bringing some of her dvds. Brennen evidently has not seen Lion King. Well we nicknamed him Karen because he spent the entire time asking questions and Lisa very patiently answered every question. It was non stop questions. We made it through the night by changing seats and drivers every few hours. During my shift, we stopped for bathroom break and I had a little difficulty finding how to get to parking place I wanted and before we were done, I think I circled a fast food restaurant three times and the employees were looking out ready to call cops. We drove all night and survived. Lisa took over driving this morning and as a few sprinkles hit the windshield. Well as Lisa turned on the wipers, the driver's side wiper blade flew over the roof of car. We were all sort of dumbstruck for a while. Hopefully the cars following us survived the flying blades. Well guess what? I had an extra driver's side wiper blade and we stopped to have Brian put it on. As we pulled to a stop in front of a closed business, Sharon mentioned that we had stopped there before. But we had never even been in Wisconsin before. This is just kind how it went. We thought we had it made once we made it to Minneapolis but I think we entered a time warp. No matter how far we drove it seemed we remained two hours from out next stop. In fact our last two hours of travel felt like it took us 12 hours. We were so excited to finally reach Grand Forks but the drama was not over. As we got there, my cell phone was dying and beeping. We were trying to talk with Amanda to try to find our way to her house. Sharon was talking to Amanda and I was driving . Lets just say our nerves were on edge and we were all cranky. Lets just say it is a good thing I do not have a concealed carry permit. But we finally made it and all was well. I think we brought the Lampoon spirit to Grand Forks. Amanda put up a canopy for the children to play under and within 15 minutes, the wind blew and broke three of the legs. I love vacations, I am no so sleepy, cranky and slap happy that I am afraid of what the evening will bring.

Mothers Day

I am blessed to have my mother still living and she is a sweetie that always makes me smile. She is a young 84. Happy Mother's Day to an awesome Mom.
This is a very special Mother's Day to me as I got to start the day with all three of my precious children. Lisa is becoming such an awesome lady. She just quietly does what needs done without complaining or moaning. I love the person she has become. Karen keeps me on my toes, surprising me and it is always special to spend time with her as these times are way too infrequent. She tromped me in scrabble and she even makes up words! And my baby graduated college and gave me roses and gluten free brownie mixes. Brian is very sensitive and kind and I am glad that he lets this show unashamedly. I am so, so proud of my children. God has truly blessed me with giving me children that make me a better Mom. And Miss Amanda Sue feels like she is part mine as I have watched her grow up and mature into an awesome Mom herself. I was blessed to be present when she first became a Mom herself and she has three awesome children that I could not love more. Karen has 17 precious children she is Mom to, every day and they all share their love wit me when I visit them. Cindy Lou and Antonio can not be erased from my heart. Then there is my grand puppy, Samson. He has the decency to act crazy whenever he sees me and I think he considers me his Grandma. So on this Mother's Day I am blessed extremely and feel very grateful for all that God has showered on me. Life is good, God is awesome!