Friday

" People know we love them when we show we love them" this is from today's devotion. I keep reading and studying and then things just happen. God happens. I went to work and had the difficult conversation and that was done with. then I was told that one of my clients that I have known for 7-8 years was in a nursing facility and was dying within the week. I went to the nursing facility to see the lady and was told that she was not expected to live thru the day and felt that death was due any time. The director of nursing was sitting with the lady as she did not want to leave her to die alone. But they were calling the director of nursing to a meeting. I volunteered to sit with the lady. She was drawing long labored breaths and I though each one was the last. the nurse came back and put on soft music and asked me the lady ever talked about God. I assured her that she always mentioned God to me. A short time later the nurse came back with a Bible and suggested that I read it to her. I sat by a dying lady and read the entire book of Psalms and I prayed with her and for her. I called back to work to let them know that I was staying by the lady's side. Eventually a neighbor of the lady came and agreed to sit with her. I left for a while and tried to get some work done but could not get my mind off of her. About an hour before quitting time I got a call from the nursing facility notifying me that the neighbor was leaving. I went back to sit with her and stayed for a while. Life is so short and transient and that was made real to me today. I tried to reach out with love today but I received back true love. From the director of nursing who was sitting with an old lady and kept me up to date on developments to the director of admissions who wheeled in a cart of drinks and snacks to the room. And to the neighbor who sat with the lady and promised to stay with her until the end. I was shown love today, pure agape love.............Pray that the lady has peace. Everytime I think I am going to show love, it gets shown to me and reading scripture and praying for her was such a blessing to me.
Tomorrow BJ's buddies are cleaning out a gentleman's basement. He is declining with cancer and he needs help. I already know that even though I will be attempting to show love, I will receive more than I give tomorrow. For tonight I am thankful for love and all those who love me so well.........

Thursday 2

As I sit at the end of day; 8 hours of work, 1 1/2 hours union mtg and now waiting for BJ's Buddies to start visitation. I am less than energetic but still hopeful-
Hopeful that what we do makes a difference. I am hopeful that the elderly people that I visited through work will be a little less apprehensive because of my visits. But I know that in reality at least one lady is more apprehensive because I convinced her to let home health come in to home to monitor her meds for two weeks. Tonight she feels incompetent and worries that little by little she is losoing her independence---and the sad part is ....she is. I lift her before our Father tonight asking that He give her peace and safety. Hopefully I can be an instrument to help her have both. The union meeting was ok, but I often get tired of being president of my local but can't seem to give it up either. Tomorrow morning I will to to my boss with an uncomfortable conversation. Union members feel that someone is getting preferential treatment, I see a hurting heart that is struggling and being shown mercy. I hope to approach this conversation with humility and not out of superiority. Pray that I will chose the best words.
Sharon and BJ joined me at Wendys for supper and then we decided to go visit an elderly lady of our congregation. But while I was at Wendys, I received a phone call from Antonio. The words 'Hola grandma Anita" makes my heart smile. I smile as I talk with him and he wanted to know where I was. He did not like that I was at Wendys and he wanted Karen to take him. Unsure if he just though Wendys sounded good and he wanted some or he wanted to go to see me. I miss the little stinker. I can not express his voice brings to me. If I can find a pic of him I will post it today.
We were off to visit the lady but before I got there I received a call from on call worker asking about a client. Apparently my name was being given as a person who knew what was going on in a mother/daughter fight. The sad result was that the mother was admitted to psychiatic unit of hospital.
The lady we visited; Betty is such a sweetheart. She talked of how her husband and she were married for over 60 years before he passed away. She told of how he would bring her the dirty clothes to sort and she would find little notes within the dirty laundry that said "I love you". Even though a large part of me did not want to take the time tonight to visit for Bj's Buddies, I am glad that I did. I pray that others will join us next week so that we can brighten more people's lives.
After the visit we were talking about how scary/exiting it is to see God working in BJ's Buddies. I can't wait to see what else he has in store for us. I covet your prayers and stay tuned to see what God is going to do next!

Thursday 1

I know I missed Wednesday :( I had to work over last night and was a little not feeling well when I got home...I whined a lot and went to bed early. My working over last night was sad. A family that is falling through the cracks and no one is helping them or at least the interventions that are occurring do no see to make a difference. Can you imagine a ten year old who is willing to physically abuse their elderly caregiver to get what they want? I went there being upset at the children but left upset that no one has intervened on the children's behalf to give them options or discipline. I can not talk about the specifics but please keep this family in your prayers. They need enormous interventions if these children are ever to have any kind of normal adulthood.
I read our daily devotion and the first sentence was simply " We are to accept others just like Jesus accepts us". It talked about Zacheus and how Jesus accepted him and went to his house. I am not there yet to accept others as well as Jesus accepts me, but I am trying to wrap my mind around it. I went to a Senior Advocacy Group today and it was awesome to be in a group of people who value and support our seniors...........

Tuesday

Tonight is a slow night for a change and I was needing this. I was reading my daily devotion for today from 40 days of community and it talked about hospitality and using our homes to serve others. The surprising part for me was that hospitality comes from hospice and hospital. Shelter and healing....so appropriate. Sharon and I have decided to open up our home the first Friday evening of each month for games or movies for whomever wants to come and bring a friend. I am reminded that everything that I think I have, is not really mine. God has just blessed me with it for a short while to use for His glory.
Work is sorta crazy as one of our workers is retiring the last day of month and we will be short one worker. We are already swamped and are starting to have anxiety over how we will do it all. At times I get caught up in it all and worry just like everyone else but for the most part, I am trying to just do the best I can daily. My clients keep me humble and busy. I learn daily from them.
Love is required, not an option. I do well with loving the poor, the downtrodden but boy do I have a problem with loving know it alls and judgmental people. I have been thinking alot about who my "unloveables" are. At first I thought of sexual offenders or perverts but then I realized that I could love almost anyone. I think my greatest hurdle to love is those that hurt my children. I know it is possible but this sometimes seems insurmountable.......What makes this real to me is that I am probably someone elses "unloveables". And to God I am so unloveable but am loved just the same...Awesome stuff so as I continue this week, I will focus on expanding those that I demonstrate love to.

Monday

Mondays are Life Group nights for BJ's Buddies. It is an exciting time. we had 15 ladies there tonight. Boy is God answering prayers. I am excited and scared at the same time to see such evidence of God moving. Good discussion and everyone seemed uplifted. A couple more items to add to our list; a widow needs help washing windows and some more names of those wanting visits. God is good! ICor. 13 is mindboggling to me. It is incomprehensible that I could sell all that I have and give to the poor, or faith to move mountains, but without love, it is nothing. Wow. Love is why we are here. So that others will know that we are His. Not by baptism, or names on our church buildings, but by love. And not just love as in loving, Him. No they will know we are christians by how we love each other. Each person in our group tonight named someone that they will complete an act of love for in this next week. I picked a difficult person that I work with. You see I do not have a problem loving the poor, or neglected but I have a real problem loving those that are haughty or lazy. But I must learn to love as God loves; without conditions. Our group decided to start meeting on Thursdays to visit people. When people pray, use me....He does. Tonight as I head to bed, I want my precious children to know that I love them to the moon and back but no matter how much I love them, it pales in comparison to how much their heavenly father loves them. In understanding this, I understand how God can love me, His daughter, no matter how much I mess up. I am posting tonight a pic of my children, my life.

Sunday

It is Sunday night and I am tired and wondering what happened to the weekend. Getting stuff ready for "BJ's Buddies" tomorrow night and I am so excited about all that is happening. 2-3 new ladies are supposed to come tomorrow night. I have finally reached the place where I am really saying "Use me". It is scary and it is exciting. There are so many things that BJ's Buddies can do and we are doing them. Ron's sermon sticks in my head........Tell your story he said. My story is simple. before putting God at the center of my life, I had no hope. I had no reason to think that anything could be better. No matter how many things I had screwed up ( and I had plenty) they were forgiven and I could start over. God forgave me. Because he gave his son I am forgiven. I have hope and I have forgiveness...Tonight dear father I pray that you saturate my life with your love and give me wisdom and courage to follow you.

Saturday

Today was a beautiful day in my heart. Lisa, Mom and I went shopping and eating and spending time with those you love and love you is good stuff. Lisa had strawberry shortcake for us and was a wonderful hostess. Tonight I am tired but feeling good and I really enjoyed spending time with my Mom.
God is so good to me and has blessed me so much. I hope that I can show love to those I come in contact with. Love without conditions, love without judgment, just love. At times like today I miss Karen tremendously, but I know she is doing what she is supposed to be doing. And Brian is getting a college education so that he can support me in my old age. Life is Good and God is Good all the time.
The picture was taken while I was in Honduras, and to me it just shows peace............