Easter

I enjoyed the seasonal activities of Easter; coloring eggs, eating ham and deviled eggs. But as my mind centered on the resurrection of Jesus I am sobered. I can't even imagine a love that would cause me to let my child die for someone's bad choices. I think I love my children unconditionally, totally and while I hope I would give up my life for them, how could you give up their live for someone that was not even close to being the superior character they were? I am so grateful that my heavenly father was willing to give up his son for me. Wow! Just blows my mind and is so much beyond my comprehension.
So today, I am so thankful that God has a love that far surpasses any human love. I am thankful that Jesus went through with the crucifixion to rise again. His death and resurrection means I am covered from all the dumb and selfish things I do. I am so humbled that I can take part in this great love.............

What if......

we long too much for what's next, without enjoying that's now?

we think too much, believe too little?

we talk a lot, but listen sporadically?

we go through the practices of worship, but never really worship?

I, for one find it much easier to do the first over the latter. Why does the human rule the spiritual in my life? Why does what is dying, have so much power over that which will never die? I have the questions, and I also have the answers.....
What rules, is what is fed. I feed my physical much more than I feed my spirit. I hope to find the place where I can feed one less and gorge on feeding the eternal. But this is just another step in my journey and the results are out of this world.......

Today's song of my heart

Here in this world that you've designed
From the rolling plains to the oceans
Deep and wide
Where are the words that can say what's
In my heart
All that I am is amazed by who you are
The one thing I desire
Is just to know you more
To live a life that moves and breathes
And loves to bring you joy
So fill me with a fire
That burns away my doubts and all my fears
Into a place where you are all I hear
It's the one thing I desire
To do what you require
Is the one thing I desire

To love when I'd rather turn away
To give when I'm more resigned to take
To reach out a hand to someone who
Feels alone
The way you reached for me
When there seemed to be no hope
I'll live my life serving Christ
Offering a sacrifice of praise

Smiling Honduran Pictures

A Country Song

“I cried all the way to Houston” sounds like the words to a country song. However it was my life today. Karen and Dorian took us to the airport after we said final good byes to the children and staff at Casa. Everything went well until it was time to go through security and leave Karen. & Dorian. No matter how prepared I think I am I still cry at goodbyes. The gentleman checking my passport just smiled and shook his head as tears streamed down my face. Then for security, which I passed fine after I remembered to take my cell phone out of my pocket. I still couldn’t see very well at this time due to my tears. Sharon got stopped in security and they searched her purse. They took her fingernail clipper set and she was just happy that she made it down there with it so she had it to use while in Honduras. We could still see Karen & Dorian through glass wall as they went down the stairs and exited the terminal. We then went clear to the end of the gate area where we watched through tinted windows as they went to their car. As they were preparing to drive out of airport, we began waving and sure enough they spotted us and returned the wave.
We settled in to wait for our flight. I visited a shop and was tempted to buy a Honduras map that had Santa Ana on it until I learned the price was $5. I figured I could get one of the internet for free.
Takeoff was fine, but I could not stop weeping. Tears fell down my face and those around me afforded me the dignity of not mentioning it. So yes I did indeed cry all or most of the way to Houston. Just couldn’t seem to get past the sadness.
While at Houston I called Brian and just the sound of hearing his voice made me weepy again. When I called Lisa she was with someone so it was a quick call and I didn't have a chance to get weepy. Later I called my Mom and she told me that Lisa had already called her to tell her that I was in USA. She was involved with activities of looking for a first time house to buy and she stopped to call Grandma........ok, Lisa had me weeping also.
God has seen fit to bless me with three fantastic children who have taken risks instead of taking the easy way out and I am so proud of them. The day I left Lisa at OU twisted my heart. I know she was scared but she stuck it out and look at her now! Karen started taking risks in ever widening circles; San Diego, Denver and then Honduras. Brian knew what he wanted and he enrolled in college in Arkansas, a long way from home, family and friends. I am so thankful for the honor and privilege of being Mom to these three exceptional adults. And as if that was not enough treasures that God blessed me with, he gave me another son in Dorian. he loves God and adores Karen, what more could you want? So as I am flying back to home, yes I am still weeping because this is what love does. It leaves marks on your heart and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Friday

Took Dorian and Karen out to dinner tonight. It was a beautiful day and beautiful restaurant. Something that I have not experienced before was the lady in pic above who brought the cart to table and made the salsa for chips right there. Food was excellent and company was awesome. It has been wonderful to spend some time here and Karen bought her and Dorian a Scrabble game tonight. We did not play scrabble any while we were here. We did play dominoes one night. We also went to a large mall with a store similar to Super Walmart. They had everything there and lots of American stuff. All that is left is packing and saying our goodbyes. Pray that we have a safe return and Dorian and Karen don't cry all week with us leaving. Dorian is a doll and always treats me with the greatest respect and courtesy. (He even told me today that I was not fat). So he is a little dishonest, he is still a really awesome guy. It is good to see them mature in marriage and in God.

Thursday

Today was an interesting day, one that tested my domestic abilities. We started out by going to Delma's house. Delma lives close to Casa and makes tortillas for Casa and she was willing to show us how she makes them. She buys huge bags (50 lbs.) of corn and takes the corn to another residence that has an electric grinder that grinds the corn kernals. She then takes the ground corn meal and mixes it with lime. No not lime juice, but lime as in put on your garden. It should be noted that only a few teaspoons are added to a huge amount of cornmeal.

Then it is kneaded until it is soft (by adding water a little at a time). Then a small amount of this is placed on a press and made into a perfect tortilla. that was then placed on a wood adobe stove heated by wood fire. Well I was trying to learn how to make them but it did not go well. I was able to "kneed" it but I could not get the hang of pressing them. They were either very big, very little, too thin or too thick. No matter how many times I tried, I could not get it right. But to make me feel better, Delma allowed one of mine to make it to the stove. I advised her that she should charge extra for that one because a gringo made it. She showed her business saviness by instantly telling Karen that she would sell the one I made to Karen for extra money. So I sorta failed at the tortilla making.

Karen has a recipie for French Onion Soup that she wanted fixed for supper as she and Dorian discovered that they like it. Well I don't even like French Onion Soup, but today I made it from scratch and guess what? They liked it!!! Go figure. So today was not a total loss.