Wednesday

Today was a quiet day and I did not do much. Karen sent one of the children to get me a little before lunch. Doris was inconsolably sobbing and kept repeating "Mami". She cried tears and moaned and was clearly in turmoil. For a while Doris let me rock her and hold her tight. I hugged her and kissed her and told her that Jesus loved her. Then she got to a point where she did not want to be touched by anyone and continued to sob. She would sporadically get up and start to play and then dissolve into moaning again. It appeared that she was having some sort of flashback maybe to times where she was abused. It was so sad to see her in such agony. She eventually calmed down but it was a long process. I was so frustrated while trying to calm Doris. She is almost impossible to communicate with and could not tell us what she was feeling.
I was struck by how God must feel when we are wailing and we fail to communicate. How many times have I been in pain and expected God to fix it and but failed to ask him or tell him what is wrong? How many times does he hold us until we get angry and lash out at Him? I got frustrated with Doris today and my inability to soothe her. Wow, I am glad that my heavenly Father has infinite patience and all knowing ability to what I need. So when I have a melt down I am blessed with a father that knows what I need even when I don't. God is good!
Went with Karen to exchange two propane cyclinders this afternoon. First, we stopped at a leather shop in ojojona to see if she could get some of the boy's school belts repaired, as they cost $5.00 new and she had 4 in need of repair. The leather shop sent us into the shop where they were actually making leather items. He fixed the belts for a little more than $1.00. He also told Karen that he could make new ones out of better leather for $4.oo each when she needs new ones. It was very interesting to watch them cut, stamp, sew and glue leather. I did think it a little odd to watch one person stamping leather with "El Salvador". Little will the person know that the souvenier from El Salvador was made in a little village in Honduras.
Next we stopped at the pulperia (store) to exchange the propane tanks. I sat in the car and waited. Nothing happens quickly in Honduras so exchaning two tanks and buying phone cards took forever........By the time we were headed back to Casa it was starting to sprinkle. Just enough to make a mess of the windshield but not enough to wipe it clear. We returned to Casa and the wind had picked up even more and it was getting colder. Karen fixed supper; a recipie from her wedding recipie book. Oh another delicacy was that we bought some red raspberries last week at market. What was left the ladies in the kitchen here, made juice from them and had added some lemon juice, sugar, and who knows what else. It was awesome. I really think I am gaining weight here, not what I wanted. Well I am off to bed......