Monday, Day ?

I have lost track of days now....and tomorrow I leave for home. today my throat is better but a lot of "stuff" in my head and throat. I helped Karen make a chore list where the children are assigned a chore for one week at a time. As it is now they decide daily who will sweep, etc. This way they know what is expected of them and practice it until they get it done well. Tried to think of life skills the children would need someday. Even the little ones will have chores. It ought to be interesting. It was cute to watch Antonio push the laundry basket of dirty clothes to laundry room. He is so tiny! He is really growing on me fast. Not a whole lot going on except Cindy Lou...She called Sandra, a local Honduran lady who help with the children some bad names today. So she was told to sit in a chair well that didn't go well and Cindy and I had several close encounters today. I love this girl with all my heart and I pray that she will find peace and Casa will find a way to hold her responsible lovingly. When she is totally mad she will try to pinch, kick, hit, bite and oh yes, head but. She took me by surprise at one point and got a good head butt in to my jaw.... My teeth rattled. I continue to hold her and sing "Jesus Love You" as I kiss her head and tell her that I love her. It is easy for me knowing that I am going to be here only a short while, but I do not know how Karen, Dorian, Jen and others deal with it day after day. Cindy called me all sort of names and Karen talked with her several times patiently, and lovingly about her choices and she would say that she wishes to be good but can't. A few hours later she was calm for good and went to bed for nap. I got to do boys showers tonight for the last time and it was sort of sad. Antonio did his hiding under the towel wanting me to do the "where's Antonio?" Brayan continues to strut when naked and Fernando continues to put shoes on the wrong foot. wouldn't you think he would get it right 50% of the time? Not him. I think someone taught him wrong because he does it consistently. I will miss this evening ritual. Dorian cooked tonight and made us balliatas?. He even had the local tortilla lady made some special ones for me with no wheat. Is he sweet or what? He cooked a lot of stuff, eggs, bologna, cheese, etc. and makes these. They were really good and then to top it off he made home made french fries from scratch. I have been missing my grease! I think he is a keeper. Cindy told Karen that she would cry for me when I was gone?! I kinda figured she would be doing a happy dance. Mario told me that he would miss me and I asked him who would help him find his underwear after the shower and who would wait for him to climb the shelves in bedroom while naked and he said Karen would have to start doing this. Marvin told me that he would miss me and I warned him that I would call Karen to check on him. He assured me that he would let me know if Karen was misbehaving. While eating supper talked to Dilcia and Dorian a little about going to the states. Dilcia has long wanted to go to US I guess. I would give anything for Dorian to get a Visa. and I dont mean to charge things on. I am ready to go home, to get back in my routine of normal everyday stuff. I am ready to not face beans for breakfast and eat chocolate whenever I want. But tonight is sad because I will not have the good morning kisses of Maryuri and Katty. With sweet Maryuri, she takes your face in her hands and looks you in the eye and smacks you or sometimes just lies her face on hers. I will miss Rudy running by making loud car noises as he "shifts" up and down, I will miss Miss Monica's smile and innocence, Marvin's growl in my face and Mario saying to me in English "Do you have a problem?" Yovani's mischievous grin and his desire to have things in order. I will miss Pamela and Daniela's giggling as they swing together on one swing. Francisco and Fernando playing in the make believe worlds and Brayan being Mr. Cool. I have nicknamed him Senor Slick as he is so slick when he wants something you don't even see it coming. And Fitto, who is different but so kind and sweet. He gave a way all his birthday goodies and when others took them from him he refused to get them in trouble....He put up with eye drops, oral antibiotics, and medicine and bandage for sores on him without uttering one word. I will miss Cindy for she has stolen my heart also, within her is a heart of pure gold and she has the intelligence to go far, I just pray that she finds peace from her past and leads other in righteous things. I will miss Antonio saying Mommy to Karen. I will miss the smiles and goodness I get daily from Dilcia and those that labor here at Casa with her.
But tomorrow this time I will be missing my baby. Karen Diane, my middle child the one who sometimes demands the most and holds me the most accountable. I ache when I am apart from her and I ache at what she does daily. I want to take away the frustrations and despair from her heart. I want to give her all the answers on how to discipline the children. I want to be able to call her every night if I want to and ask how her day was. But I can't. Because she has chosen a life here in Honduras, ministering to los ninos of Casa de Esperanza and I am happy for her because this is her choice and she has found love here with Dorian. So I am glad that I have been able to come and I am glad that I have been able to help a small bit but I miss the rest of my family, talking with them about the day and telling them that I love them. So this time has been a time that I can spend with Karen but I am soon to be on my way home to those that I left, wondering why I just can't have all the people I love in one place. I mean wouldn't we be better off if we were still in horse and wagon times when people you love couldn't move to Honduras, or North Dakota or go to school in Arkansas? I know, I know, it is all good but tonight this mother's heart is sad and wishing I could have it all. Pray for safe travels and rest assured that there are still more tales to tell.