The Journey

questions

2011-04-29T10:55:00.001-04:00

How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
Which is worse, failing or never trying?
If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?
When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?
What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?
If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?
Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?
If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?
To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?
Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?
You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?
If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?
Would you break the law to save a loved one?
Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?
What’s something you know you do differently than most people?
How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?
What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?
Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?
Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?
Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?

Questioning how I live life

2011-04-28T20:00:00.002-04:00

Have read some truly uncomfortable books the last few months. Radical and The Hole in the Gospel have really convicted me and try as I might to find fault with what they say, they appear to be very biblical. So I am currently on vacation with my daughter and son in law and friends that are family and find myself buying Radical Together. Wow.
I so much want to do what Jesus told us and go out and make disciples of all nations.......Instead, I find myself wanting others to come instead of me going. So do my ministries need to be going to people rather than expecting people coming to me. Hmm, WWJD? ouch. I am trying to let all this uncomfortableness settle into my heart. More than anything, I want to be what God wants, but in wanting, do I become something else?
A min epiphany has occurred and I am realizing that I just need to love, worship and adore Him and I will become what He desires through no action or changes on my part. The more I love and worship him, the more I become who I was created to be. I am called to love God and others.
Here goes.......................

Ask For Help and Just Trust!!!

2011-02-02T20:31:00.001-05:00

Wednesday, February 02, 2011

Choose Faith and Ask for Help
by Rick Warren

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.” Philippians 4:6 (NLT)

"It does not bother God when you ask for help. He stands ready to help you in every moment of life."

When faced with the reality of a situation that is overwhelming, the best thing you can do is focus on God. The disciples, in Matthew 8, knew that Jesus could do something about the storm that threatened their lives as they were tossed on the sea.

Their answer to the overwhelming storm was to ask Jesus for help. “The disciples went to him and they woke him up, shouting, ‘Lord save us, we are going to drown” (Matthew 8:25 NLT).

Why is it that we wait until it gets really bad before we think we have to pray? One of the keys to dealing with anxiety is to cry for help earlier because God wants to help.

Instead of trying to live life on your own and let the worry overwhelm you, turn to God. He wants you to live life connected to him, talking to him, and getting connected with others because when you try to do it on our own and never ask for help, worries just multiply.

Maybe it’s hard for you to admit your needs. Maybe you think no one cares. Maybe you’re convinced you know the answer and no one else does. I think a lot of people don’t ask for help because they don’t want to be a bother to anyone.

It does not bother God when you ask for help. He stands ready to help you in every moment of life.

“Tell God what you need and thank him for all he has done” (Philippians 4:6 NLT). Talking to God in prayer is the single most effective cure for worry, and it needs to be the attitude of your life.

Our verse today gives us the formula for how this works.

“Pray about everything.” First, you talk. As you talk to God about everything, you will find the anxiety level lessening in your life.

“Tell God what you need.” That’s the second thing. A lot of times people go to God in prayer and tell God about everything and everyone else, but don’t share their needs with him. Tell him what you are worried about!

“Thank him for all he has done.” There is something about gratitude that lessens anxiety and opens the door to peace and incredible faith in your life. No matter what you’re going through in life right now, there is something you can look back on and say, “God, I’m grateful for that.” So hang on to that.

We Really Are Terrific....Celebrate It!!! :)

2011-01-29T08:36:00.000-05:00

An excerpt from
Oh Thank Goodness, It's Not Just Me!
by BJ Gallagher

It's so easy for women
to slip into self doubt
and feeling inadequate.
After all,
we shoulder a lot of responsibilities -
being supportive of our mates,
nurturing our children,
staying in touch with extended family,
holding down jobs
while holding down the fort at home.

No wonder we sometimes feel
anxious,
exhausted,
insecure,
second guessing ourselves.

We need to know
we're not alone.
We need to hear
that other women
share our experiences.

"Atta girl" never sounded so sweet
as when coming from the lips
of another woman.
She understands,
she's been there, done that.
She gets it -
she gets me.

We take turns
encouraging,
supporting,
cheering one another on.

We learn to do it for ourselves, too.
Just reach right over your shoulder, girl,
and pat yourself on the back.

You're terrific,
and you and I both know it.

Another Day in Honduras

2010-09-08T16:30:00.002-04:00

Time is going quickly here in Honduras and while there are so many seemingly hopeless situations here there is some awesome things taking place. The children here as Casa take for granted that Karen gets up at 5:30am each day to begin the day. This morning Dorian got up and left at 6am to take Rosie and Reina to town for Teleton. Lots of people put in long days with little or no pay to make these Casa kid's lives a little better.
Take Sunday for example, a man from around Teguc. came to gate here at Casa because his house was falling over the mountain in a mud slide. He came to Casa because he knew that people associated with Mark C. were here at Casa. This man has worked with Mark before but Mark is currently in US. so he showed up here after a several hour bus ride. The message was passed along and hopefully with donations, help will come. The people know that Mark C. helps people. No he does more than help people, he cares deeply about people and the people know that.
The people at the dump know that Marc T has began a ministry there and know that every Wednesday, there will be food.
And the children that i have seen grow and mature, it is so awesome to see those who could barely walk when they came to live here, now run and jump and attend kindergarten. And another who was quite a problem with throwing fits and biting and kicking, is now much calmer and no longer shows her anger through striking out with violence. Yes they misbehave still but not like they did when they first came. And the little one, Josue, Karen said that he was barely alive when the state took him. Today he sat on my lap and gave me kisses as I threatened to chew his toes. He runs everywhere and is possible getting spoiled. I am thankful that I have the awesome opportunity to glimpse these awesome examples of love. Please pray that God will continue to use Casa as an instrument of His love.

Labor Day

2010-09-06T21:43:00.002-04:00

Different kinda day. There is one inspector in Honduras that inspects all 400 childrens' homes and today he came to Casa de Esperanza. They do not show up unannounced, he calls and tells you that you have to come and get him and take him to your childrens home. So Dorian went to Tegucigalpa to get him. I helped Karen a little by cleaning her office and going through their meds to make sure there were no expired meds, The sad part is that the ones that were expired we sent to the local clinic where they can use them. The inspector and his assistant were here for hours and he talked and he talked and he talked. Karen introduced me to him and she told him about my job with the elderly and he had lots of questions for me. I think he talked with Karen more than he inspected. They had some boxed of expired cheerios and the inspector asked if he could have them.
For lunch had rice and from scratch french fries. Only ate 3 fries as I figured it would be a carb overload.
Dorian has asked for his old room mate at Baxter to come and help him with his job as minister. Dorian feels that when he is in school, he does not have the time needed to minister as he should. So he offered his friend part of his salary ($300 monthly) to assist him. So the friend arrived and Dorian was not here, he was on the long drive taking the inspector back to city.
I hung up a few clothes on clothesline only to have Karen scold me for not hanging them correctly. I admit to being out of practice in hanging out clothes. I finished my book today that I had from library and tried to clean Karen and Dorian's apartment a little to help them out as they only had one cook/cleaner working today. I had plans for roasted turkey breast with mashed potatoes and rolls that I brought in my carry on. Well the stove temperture was set and I marked the time. It was supposed to take around 2 hours to cook. I even had the potatoes cut and sitting in pan of water ready to turn on. Karen came to apartment and told me the oven was not on! I did not turn on the propane to the stove so it had set in a cold oven for 1 1/2 hours. so plan B was called for.
Dorian had got a bag of frozen seafood at PriceMart, so decided that this was plan B. Decided to try alfredo sauce on it and cooked some noodles. Also added a can of corn for veggies. The seafood had octopus, squid, mussels, shrimp and snow crab. And the squid and octopus were not chopped fine but very evident with tentacles going everywhere. Well I couldn't eat the noodles but had some on a tostada. The octopus and squid tasted like fishy rubber and you could chew and chew and chew and eventually you just gave up and swallow it. To make it funnier, Dorian's friend ate with us and was very polite but declined seconds. He kept asking, " What is this?" Poor guy.
I got ahead of myself. While I was preparing the turkey breast, Karen was beginning to help the children with homework. There are two local ladies who also help with homework. I do not know how Karen does it. I would have shock collars on them all:) Fernando got a bunch of word wrong at school and he had to write each one correctly several times. Well he was writing several times but not correctly. Ana was working on multiplication tables and kept trying to look back for the answers. So at any one time there are probably 10-12 children trying to complete homework in the kitchen area.
Oh and I forgot about lunch. Doris came from school but never ended up at table to eat. so I went to check on her. She was sitting on commode and told me she had to "poo poo" so I went back to kitchen. A little later one of the girls told Karen that Doris needed more toilet paper. Karen went to check and sure enough, Doris was just beginning her "time of the month" but kept sitting there on the commode unsure what to do. Poor girl. She later was sitting on my lap and kept giggling, I soon knew what the giggling was about. Doris was expelling gas and giggling. But Doris is hard to get upset with.
I took little Josue outside which they were working on homework and Rosie came along. She picked dandelions and gave them to Josue to blow away. It was cute. Now they are saying that all schools are closed tomorrow and Karen is trying to figure out about an appointment tomorrow at hospital secuela.
It was another wonderful day in Honduras

Worship Day

2010-09-05T10:24:00.003-04:00

It is a beautiful morning in Honduras and I am alone in the apartment trying to wake up and get ready for worship. God is good, I say that a lot but that is such an understatement. My God is so magnificent it is truly beyond my comprehension. His unfailing love sets a standard that we as humans come up so short on. He loves me without reservation, no matter how many times I screw up. The fact that he sacrificed his son for me is incomprehensible. The fact that I sacrifice so little for Him is truly pitiful. But for today I will be thankful for this awesome, tremendous gift and be honored to be called His.

The rain returns

2010-09-02T21:43:00.002-04:00

It rained off and on all night, sort of a comforting sound on the metal roof. Towards morning I did hear the "lizards" that Karen told me about. It still worries me that Dorian calls them scorpions but he insists that it is not scorpions like I think? Right before bed karen told me not to worry that they stay on ceiling, the only problem is they sometimes find droppings on bed in the room I am sleeping. Talk about focusing on keeping my mouth closed while sleeping:). So when i heard them, I just pulled sheet over my head and went back to sleep. The children were already at school when I go up. Just Josue, Marjorie and Nohemy were here. and the girls went to kindergarten at noon. School here is over at 12:30 for others, unsure how much they can learn is such a short time. Wish there were funds to send them all to private school. Karen and the three were "sorting" beans. Looking for worms in the beans actually. I can't see well enough that close up to tell the good from the bad but the children enjoyed it. Marjorie sat on my lap and let me love on her a lot today.
Josue lost one of his shoes and Karen was looking for it. She looked behind the tv and yelled mouse. Those of you who know Karen know that snakes, spiders, etc do not scare her but mice, she screams like a girl and runs! The mouse was dead so I got it and took it out and threw it in dumpster area. I came back and moved tv to clean up it's nest and yep, there were five babies under the tv. Reina and me were trying to sweep up the babies into a dustpan but a couple decided they could run and would run under the tv and we would move it again and off they would run. Well Dorian came to see what was going on and he took care of the babies in a somewhat violent matter. Then it was discovered that something had a small nest in bottom of tv and Dorian had to take off covering of tv and we cleaned it off.
I got to go with Dorian to pick up the children at school and then we had lunch. Rice, beans, and a shredded sort of barbequed meat. It was good and I cleaned my plate. I then came back to Karen & Dorian's apartment to check email and lay down on couch and fell asleep. We later ran into town to pick up a few items. I was desperate for caffeine and in search of tea. It was so foggy, it was hard to see the road and the dozens of people walking the roads. No regular tea bags were to be found where we went but found some other goodies. Returned home and Karen and Dorian went to church. Stacy, a lady who is staying here and helping at Casa, must have heard me moaning as she came to door and offered me some Liption tea bags. Life is good once again and I have a new best friend!
I think Karen is getting off tomorrow and we will go to market. We got some bananas today but cant wait for more fresh fruit. Karen gave me a piece of a fruit here today that might be guava? It was good. Always an experience here. Saw some of the OSU Marshall game, and although it is only 8pm here my body feels like it is 10p like at home. Can't wait for another day of adventure tomorrow.

It was the best of days, it was the worst of days.

2010-09-01T21:12:00.002-04:00

I woke up really excited to be on my way to visit Karen and Dorian. Beautiful day, wonderful flights and Dorian was there at airport to meet me. He told me that Karen still had no idea I was coming. that was a really good day
Dorian and a minister from Ojojona and his wife were on their way to the the tegucigalpa dump where hundreds work digging through garbage for plastic bottles and other things to recycle. Some actually live at the dump. Oh and you see men, buzzards and cattle all fighting for scraps of food that have been thrown away and are rotting. To get to the dump was a lengthy process. The road that is usually taken is washed out due to all the rains. On the road up mountain to dump, there were numerous places where hillsides have slipped into the road. The trash seemed to be everywhere as the rain had washed all down to the bottom and it lie in ditches where some were setting it on fire to get rid of it. There were people everwhere working, trying to shore up the foundations of their home, their hillsides, etc. and mud everywhere.
We eventually reached the dump and the smell seemed much worse than ever before. There was two to three inches of mud that smelled like poop everywhere. Dorian had me take off my watch and leave camera so it would not be taken from me. As soon as we pulled in the crowds started coming to the vehicles. I was privileged to be allowed to place tortillas on top of bowl of rice and beans and insert a plastic spoon and hand to those gathered there. Dorian was also passing out water. they kept coming, mostly men but lots of boys and women also wanting some food. There seemed to be so much more trash there, and oh the stench. Dorian had brought me his boots to wear to keep me somewhat clean. The food was all gone and I found myself really sad that just this morning I was in a society where we throw away everything and at noon, I was amongst seemingly "throw a way people" I simply cannot fathom what it would take for me to rummage through rotting garbage, trash and dead animals to find plastic bottles that I could turn in for a few pennies. And if it was a good day, maybe find some lunch amongst the debris? There was a lady with a baby there and another one who is very pregnant. There are little boys that should be in school and having hugs and kisses from loving parents that instead jockey for position amongst the men. We left and made our way slowly back down the mountain. It was the worst of days..........
Then Dorian and I finally made it to Santa Ana and he took me over to the clinic and walked in the back way and hid in their apartment. He then went back out and entered the other way and called karen (who was with the children) to tell her he needed something from their apartment asap. Well I was standing in their bedroom when she came through the dcor and I scared the poor girl half to death. It was priceless as I hung onto her and hugged and hugged. It was the best of days.............
OH and Karen said if i hear anything during the night it is just these little lizard like things crawling around eating mosquitos and such. Welcome to Honduras!

I made it through the day!

2010-08-23T21:31:00.002-04:00

Yep, I made it. No candy either. This is hard but I will overcome. Did pretty well with eating today and not really hungry. that isn't to say that I am not craving candy, chips or even a bag of marshmallows. I can almost taste the sweetness as I think about them. Oh well that won't help so I will quit naming what I can't quit thinking about.
I was able to exercise today by spending 40 minutes on my "gazelle".
tonights meeting of SEALS at church was exciting. Can't wait to dive in a little more.
I am so blessed that God is beside me in my journey.............I can do this, I can do this, I can do this..............

How many times can you start over?

2010-08-22T22:11:00.003-04:00

I almost hate putting this in writing but I need to so that I can't back out of this. I need to start over with so many things, but at the forefront is my weight and health. So here is the plan. I am going to Honduras in November sometime and I am committing myself to losing some weight before I visit Karen and Dorian. So I have September and October, two months to buff myself up.
I know I can do nothing without God and with Him I can do anything so I am also starting over with my commitment to a reading plan of His word instead of what seems interesting at the moment.
So here goes:
I intend to each healthier
exercise more
spend more time in prayer daily
read consistently with a purpose, God's word

I will struggle and I need all of you to support me, pray for me, and hold me accountable. Even when I try telling you I didn't really mean it or I have had a hard day and want excused.
So how do I expect to get there?
well as for eating healthier, I will not eat any snacks out of the machine at work (ouch that is going to be difficult) I will not eat any potato chips and no candy. Oh I can already hear the gum drops calling me.
Those who doubt me, I don't blame you, but get this: I start a tai chi class this week. I don't know what it is but it is a start and it is free so I am taking a step of faith. So I am inviting any of you who want to follow me on this journey of insanity, Ok, even more insane. So when November rolls around and I land in Honduras, I will be so transformed, that the children will no longer pat my belly and call out "gordo".
For today, it has begun and I will win this battle one day at a time.....

I Need To Be A Better Servant

2010-08-15T22:06:00.001-04:00

Jesus measures greatness by service, not status
by Rick Warren

Whoever wants to be great must become a servant. Mark 10:43 (MSG)

"Jesus, however, measured greatness in terms of service, not status. God determines your greatness by how many people you serve, not how many people serve you. "

The world defines greatness in terms of power, possessions, prestige, and position. If you can demand service from others, you've arrived. In our self-serving culture with its me-first mentality, acting like a servant is not a popular concept.

Jesus, however, measured greatness in terms of service, not status. God determines your greatness by how many people you serve, not how many people serve you.

This is so contrary to the world's idea of greatness that we have a hard time understanding it, much less practicing it. The disciples argued about who deserved the most prominent position, and 2,000 years later, Christian leaders still jockey for position and prominence in churches, denominations, and parachurch ministries.

Thousands of books have been written on leadership, but few on servanthood. Everyone wants to lead; no one wants to be a servant. We would rather be generals than privates. Even Christians want to be "servant-leaders," not just plain servants. But to be like Jesus is to be a servant. That's what he called himself.

While knowing your shape is important for serving God, having the heart of a servant is even more important. Remember, God shaped you for service, not for self-centeredness. Without a servant's heart, you will be tempted to misuse your shape for personal gain. You will also be tempted to use it as an excuse to exempt yourself from meeting some needs.

God often tests our hearts by asking us to serve in ways we're not shaped. If you see a man fall into a ditch, God expects you to help him out, not say, "I don't have the gift of mercy or service."

While you may not be gifted a particular task, you may be called to do it if no one who is gifted at it is around. Your primary ministry should be in the area of your shape, but your secondary service is wherever you're needed at the moment.

Your shape reveals your ministry, but your servant's heart will reveal your maturity. No special talent or gift is required to stay after a meeting to pick up trash or stack chairs. Anyone can be a servant. All it requires is character.

It is possible to serve in church for a lifetime without ever being a servant. You must have a servant's heart.

How can you know if you have the heart of a servant?

Jesus said, "You can tell what they are by what they do" (Matthew 7:16 CEV).

National Lampoon has nothing on me!

2010-08-04T17:25:00.002-04:00

I have laughed endlessly at National Lampoon Vacation movies. Well let me tell you that it is only funny to because it is about someone else. Well I am living one myself right now. Being an adventuresome person, Sharon and I decided we would take Brennen home to North Dakota instead of her and him flying. Lisa and Brian decided to join us for this trip. Well I worked all day Tuesday getting off at 4 and hoping to by pulling out for the start of the adventure by 5 . Work was wild and crazy and very fast paced. I came home to find out that Sharon's jeep would not start as she tried to leave her work to come home. She had to have her brother come rescue her and bring her home. The Jeep was left to fend for itself. Well all it takes is something like a change of plans to start the dominoes to fall. Luckily we were not planning on taking the Jeep so we could deal with that. Sorta of a stress inducing start but it could be overcome. I literally backed out the door of house while keeping Griswald from nipping us as he was angry that he was not going with us.
We were off to Columbus and picked up Lisa and Brian. Actually got their luggage in the trunk and it closed! Brennen was wanting to watch his dvds. With great anticipation he opened his transformers dvd to fine Annie and not Transformers disc in case. He then opened another one and it was High School Musical. He looked downcast and told us that sometimes his mama gets the discs confused and puts them in the wrong cases. He simply exclaimed "Nuts!" and watched High School Musical.
We were cruising right along leaving Columbus when we screeched to a halt and then crept along and made maybe 5 miles in 45 minutes. I was beginning to wonder if we were ever going to make it out of Ohio. Lisa saved the day for Brennen by bringing some of her dvds. Brennen evidently has not seen Lion King. Well we nicknamed him Karen because he spent the entire time asking questions and Lisa very patiently answered every question. It was non stop questions. We made it through the night by changing seats and drivers every few hours. During my shift, we stopped for bathroom break and I had a little difficulty finding how to get to parking place I wanted and before we were done, I think I circled a fast food restaurant three times and the employees were looking out ready to call cops. We drove all night and survived. Lisa took over driving this morning and as a few sprinkles hit the windshield. Well as Lisa turned on the wipers, the driver's side wiper blade flew over the roof of car. We were all sort of dumbstruck for a while. Hopefully the cars following us survived the flying blades. Well guess what? I had an extra driver's side wiper blade and we stopped to have Brian put it on. As we pulled to a stop in front of a closed business, Sharon mentioned that we had stopped there before. But we had never even been in Wisconsin before. This is just kind how it went. We thought we had it made once we made it to Minneapolis but I think we entered a time warp. No matter how far we drove it seemed we remained two hours from out next stop. In fact our last two hours of travel felt like it took us 12 hours. We were so excited to finally reach Grand Forks but the drama was not over. As we got there, my cell phone was dying and beeping. We were trying to talk with Amanda to try to find our way to her house. Sharon was talking to Amanda and I was driving . Lets just say our nerves were on edge and we were all cranky. Lets just say it is a good thing I do not have a concealed carry permit. But we finally made it and all was well. I think we brought the Lampoon spirit to Grand Forks. Amanda put up a canopy for the children to play under and within 15 minutes, the wind blew and broke three of the legs. I love vacations, I am no so sleepy, cranky and slap happy that I am afraid of what the evening will bring.

Mothers Day

2010-05-09T19:06:00.002-04:00

I am blessed to have my mother still living and she is a sweetie that always makes me smile. She is a young 84. Happy Mother's Day to an awesome Mom.
This is a very special Mother's Day to me as I got to start the day with all three of my precious children. Lisa is becoming such an awesome lady. She just quietly does what needs done without complaining or moaning. I love the person she has become. Karen keeps me on my toes, surprising me and it is always special to spend time with her as these times are way too infrequent. She tromped me in scrabble and she even makes up words! And my baby graduated college and gave me roses and gluten free brownie mixes. Brian is very sensitive and kind and I am glad that he lets this show unashamedly. I am so, so proud of my children. God has truly blessed me with giving me children that make me a better Mom. And Miss Amanda Sue feels like she is part mine as I have watched her grow up and mature into an awesome Mom herself. I was blessed to be present when she first became a Mom herself and she has three awesome children that I could not love more. Karen has 17 precious children she is Mom to, every day and they all share their love wit me when I visit them. Cindy Lou and Antonio can not be erased from my heart. Then there is my grand puppy, Samson. He has the decency to act crazy whenever he sees me and I think he considers me his Grandma. So on this Mother's Day I am blessed extremely and feel very grateful for all that God has showered on me. Life is good, God is awesome!

What am I willing to sell?

2010-02-21T18:14:00.002-05:00

Luke 12 is a difficult verse to follow. Jesus tells me to be generous, sell what I have and give to those who are without. At what point to I decide to sell what I have? I am waiting to accumulate more and more before I decide to give something to someone else. I can't say that I don't see anyone in need around me. The hurting are everywhere I go. I am blessed and while I give God the praise and thanksgiving for what I have. I keep what I have. I sometimes argue or discuss the finer points of The Bible with those around me to make sure that they get things "right'. But Luke 12 is pretty plain on what I should be doing. Not too much of a doubt as to what Jesus wants me to do, but do I?
When was the last time I showed sacrificial giving to my children? So I study stewardship I hope I get to the point that I can obey all of Jesus' teaching. So for now I am thinking and praying. Yes I have promised to give more in the offering plate, but where is the increase in my love for God's Kingdom? I am wandering when will I be willing to say, "here, take this and be blessed"?

February 16th

2010-02-16T18:49:00.001-05:00

Twenty eight years ago I gave birth to my middle child, Karen. Her name came from a story book that I had as a four year old. I always wanted a girl named Karen. I wanted Karen Kay but that got vetoed. I remember so clearly that labor and delivery of Karen. After a very fast labor for my first child, my doctor had cautioned me to come to hospital sooner rather than later. I remember my water breaking while I was sleeping and after calling the dr., was urged to come straight to hospital. no pains yet. I remember that my mom was there and she was in the labor room some of the time. I was sitting up in bed talking to her when my doctor came in and told me I had to lie down to have labor? The labor progressed to a point and then stopped and would not start again. At lunch time, my doctor came and told me that he would induce labor. Sounded good to me. Well inducing labor is quite an experience. I was asking for a nurse to catch the baby and they kept telling me to NOT to push. I finally told them that I was going to push and someone better catch the baby. The doctor got there just in time and Karen Diane Vaughan was born. She was long and skinny and beautiful. My mom and Dad were at hospital and got to see Karen as soon as she was born. She soon filled out and was almost a chubby baby. Her hair, light brown at birth soon changed to blond.
My Karen has always had a mind of her own. At times I thought she was very stubborn and at times my difficult child. She fell in love with her heavenly Father and used these personality traits to a positive result. Karen is such a contradiction at times.
She would be scared about being home alone but then left for a third world country to live. Karen never liked to drive and hated traffic and then she learned to drive a standard in Teguc (crazy driving capital of the world).
Karen has grown into a beautiful woman and she found the love of her life in Dorian. They really bring out the best in each other. While I miss spending birthdays with her, i know she is where she is supposed to be, doing what God created her to do.
Happy Birthday Karen Diane, your momma is proud of you.

Ownership

2010-02-14T18:12:00.002-05:00

The church where I worship is in a period of transition. This will hopefully be a new start for us all. Why do we need a new start? It isnt that we have an awful fellowship or that our leaders are ineffective. But we have became complacent. Content with where we are and what we are to our community.
Our sermon for this morning kinda smacked me in the face. We were told that we were damaged. At first I found myself thinking, "yeah, those other people need to straighten up". But I am responsible for my part and I do take ownership. I had several people ask what I was taking ownership for and this is my answer.

Sometimes, instead of praying for those among us might find Jesus during our time of worship, I wished the minister would hurry up so I could get on with my day. Unreal that I thought the day was MINE.

When an announcement was made that volunteers were needed, I thought they meant someone who was not busy like myself.

I would rate sermons like an American Idol judge, not someone hungry for God's word.

I would take communion and share Jesus body but not act like His body when I left the parking lot and someone pulled out in front of me.

I have sang songs and not heard the words.

And one of the worst things was be happy when there was no problems finding MY seat, instead of being happy that I would have to sit elbow to elbow with someone.

When the offering plate was passed I gave out what I had left, not what I had.

Today I went forward, owning my part of the decline at my assembly. I only hope that I can use His word and His promises

What I took from this morning's sermon,
The strength of my prayers is determined by how well I know God's promises.
For today and hopefully looking forward, I will Him my best

Confused

2010-01-31T18:19:00.002-05:00

I am confused about how so many people complain that as a Christian country we should be allowed to have prayer in school and we fight to the end on whether the Then commandments are hanging in our courthouses. I think Jesus told us that we would be judged by how we feed the hungry, clothe the naked and visit the sick. I don't think that what matters is whether the ten commandments are posted or even if we have christian nativity scenes in our public parks

It seems to me that the fight over the health care reform is over how much money we will spend on those who do not have insurance. The senators and representatives have very good health care plans plus they will have a great pension when they leave office. The elected senators and representatives who have voted against the health care reform are voting to put more money into the coffers of the insurance and pharmaceutical companies. They may have been given money from the lobbyists from those companies. I think I was informed that the insurance companies have been spending $2.1 million a day to defeat the reform.

When are we going to take care of our neighbor? What about the people who turn 19 on their next birthday? What about the people who have lost their jobs and soon will lose their insurance? Do you know anyone who has insurance that has low premiums, low deductible and pays 100%?

So many people have vocalized the fear that our nation is becoming a socialist country. Do people not realize that Medicare, Social Security, the Veterans program and Medicaid are government programs? Truly, I am more fearful of the huge corporations, the banks, and investors on Wall Street than being a socialist.

We are in a financial mess right now because of the oil companies, lending institutions; the insurance, pharmaceutical companies and Wall Street have had a heyday without regulation. We are paying a large debt because of two wars. Some of the above groups have made a lot of money from the wars. Not only have the CEO's made sure they received huge salaries but they have benefited from a huge tax break for the last several years.

Then on Thursday, Jan. 21, our Supreme Court made it legal for corporations to give as much money as they want to people who are running for office. this scares be much much more than too much government.

The American Dream is that we have the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. The right to life means more than being born. It means the right to sufficient food, clothing, shelter, health care, and education, and employment.

I for one want health care reform that will ensure a choice of affordable health care plans regardless of pre-existing conditions ... close gaps in prescription coverage for those on Medicare ... and enhance the quality of health care. We need reform for our older Americans and those who do not have coverage.

When I understand why those who want to fight for our Christian rights show their fruits by being Christ like then I won't be confused.

If I had two hands..............

2009-11-08T18:52:00.000-05:00

I’ve been living out of sanity
I’ve been splitting hairs and blurring lines
I am a house that is divided
In my heart and in my mind

I use one hand to pull you closer
The other to push you away
If I had two hands doing the same thing
Lifted high, lifted high

I have a broken disposition
I’m a liar who thirsts for the truth
And while I ache for faith to hold me
I need to feel the scars and see the proof

And if we just keep digging we can reach the foundation
Of our souls
And if we just keep cutting all the chains from our hearts
We’ll lose control

And it feels like giving in
It feels like starting over
It feels like waking up, and you know it’s coming
It feels like a brand new day
Open your eyes

Fear of Joy

2009-09-27T15:24:00.002-04:00

This has been a real issue for me in the past. If it is too good to be true, it must not be true. whenever things started coming together, I became anxious and did not enjoy the good times because I was just waiting for "the other shoe to drop". In some ways I was more "ok" with things not going well than I was with good times. Why? Because I knew what was expected during tough times but unsure how to act in good times. After all, if I enjoyed life when it was good, wouldn't that just make life more difficult when things go bad? Not IF, but WHEN they turn bad. Who knows, this may have been so uncomfortable to me that I maybe even caused some of the difficult stuff myself by my fear of joy.
Occasionally, I still find myself feeling this, but it is very seldom and it doesnt last. In coming to know myself and my God, I am able to enjoy where I am each day and the joys and problems each day brings. Before, I did not truly live, just existed for the next round.
Guess what? I am no better person than I used to be. I screw up just as much as I used to. But I am accepting of myself and no longer use old "programs" to stifle myself. I am truly a new creature in Christ.

9/13/09

2009-09-13T19:51:00.002-04:00

I am excited about tomorrow night. The small city of Belpre is having a community wide prayer for the city. We will start by walking the streets and then end up all together for a prayer service. This is not just one or two churches, it is all the churches in Belpre. Is that awesome or not? So I am not sure what the details are but I am excited to be part of this.
It will be a busy week, praying for Belpre Monday night, Small group with BJ's buddies on Tuesday and Wednesday HOPE group. I am blessed to able to be a part of these awesome opportunities. God is good! Looking forward to an awesome week and hoping that God is first in all of this.

Labor Day

2009-09-07T14:35:00.003-04:00

Have you ever had so much to say you did not know where to start? Welcome to my life.
For starters, have you found yourself in a certain situation with the weather just so and at that moment in time, everything seemed perfect?
Well I went through Dairy Queen Drive thru and while taking my first taste of my fabulous Pecan Mudslide I fell in love. The car lot next to DQ has this awesome looking 09 Camaro. It is SS V8 and as I looked at it, the sun was shining just right and it gleamed and seemed to be calling my name, (alright, maybe it was me groaning). but in that moment, all was right with the world and life was beautiful.
That car was all I talked about for weeks with anyone. I tried to talk Brian out of his final year of college so that I could put a down pament on this beauty. Well I talked about it so much at work that my supervisor called the car lot and gave me the details. The price tag is merely $41,500.
Oh well, I love to dream. I believe that without dreaming, we do not achieve. We must picture what we want in detail and then go about the how to get there. Ok, I will not come up with a plan for buying the Camaro, but I have dreamed and achieved. A short while ago, I was unemployed, newly divorced and wondering what I would do with my life. I dreamed of college and helping others. No one would have put money on me at that point. Well, today I have a college degree and get paid to help people. How awesome is that? so remember to dream and dream big, with God, all things are possible. I have tried to convince myself that I could use the camaro for evangelism, but does not feel like good stewardship:)

Movies, two days in a row

2009-08-13T22:37:00.003-04:00

I have set a record by going to movies two days, back to back. Today we took Brennen and Taylor out to the mall, then movies and then "spray park". We saw Ice Age 3 and we were the only people for the noon showing. Nothing like a private showing:) We had fun, indulging the children and lunch was popcorn, candy and pop (unlimited refills). We did have some priorities though, they were not allowed caffeine. The spray park was neat. I guess they are popular here. GF has several. I posted a pic of the one we went to. Watching the children play, made me tired. We then got the pleasure of watching Brennen and Payton while Adam, Amanda and Taylor had other plans. We played ball, read books, played with stickers and giggled.
Tomorrow is last full day here in ND.
The best news of the day is that my baby is coming home. I thought I would not see him until Thanksgiving but now I find that I get to see him this Sunday! I can't wait until I get my hands on him and give him a big hug. Wish Karen and Dorian were coming also but guess I will have to be patient............For tonight I am feeling very blessed to have Adam and Amanda share their family with me. God is good!

Donald Miller

2009-08-13T08:54:00.000-04:00

If it is Wednesday, I must be in Grand Forks

2009-08-12T20:58:00.002-04:00

Today I have listened to news and heard people talking and I find myself getting confused and frustrated. I don't know a lot about the health care reform proposed but I know that we need health care reform. Health care costs continue to skyrocket with no end in sight. Where is the end of this? Drug companies pay to play by feeding thousands of physician's office's staff daily. Why? Shouldn't this be illegal? Yes we all say how proud we are to be Americans, but then don't trust America to make things better. I would like to see the issue of health care reform addressed by Congress. No predetermined outcomes, just see where we can correct things. Isn't it agreed that Health care is definitely not working as it is? So why do we try to scare people to convince them to not want health care? I am all for discussion; honest discussion, but I HATE people using fear to try to persuade people. If your opinion has logic then use it and quit trying to scare people.
And while I am complaining, I am so upset with Ohio and how it got so bad off financially. Our current budget is cutting vital, needed services to those that can least survive cuts. And then they tell us that there will be more cuts this fall. There is a quote that escapes me right now, but it basically says, that a society is judged by how they treat their most vulnerable, the very young and the helpless old. With this as a guide, Ohio is failing as a society.

Monday, and I didn't have to go to work.

2009-08-10T22:13:00.002-04:00

Hot and sunny in Bismark today. We celebrated Adam's birthday by spending it on the river. I actually had fun. It was unbelievable that Brennen at 4 was tubing by himself and Taylor was giving a try at water sking. The Missouri River is just as wide as the Ohio is at home. But it is not as deep. There were several sand bars that we had to go around. One we stopped at and played on for a while. Tomorrow we leave Bismarck and head back to Grand Forks to Adam and Amandas house. I will put the link for the pics of yesterday and today. Payton is making up to me and letting me hug on him more.
Brennen is here wanting to write something so I will let him try.

ertjggkgkgkkglgd'ldfollkfgfp;dl
'';dd;fdf;f;fp[prop[wpf[sbrennen

WEll that was exciting. I am going to read and go to bed, goodness know what tomorrow will hold.

http://picasaweb.google.com/anitalvaughan/NorthDakota?authkey=Gv1sRgCIf2z-_Pk5_3uwE#

Being Lazy

2009-08-09T11:42:00.002-04:00

Isn't weird how when you are on vacation you are content doing nothing but eating and sleeping? I am constantly sleepy and could nap off an on all day. Yesterday was rainy and cool so did some shopping (2 pair of shoes) but mostly hung around the house. Adam did take us out on Missouri River in the boat for a short ride. Don't worry I had my life jacket on. They would not let me where multiple ones(:
Today we are traveling to western North Dakota and the eastern part of Montana. Will see an outdoor drama tonight and before that probably see the Badlands.
Never did know what the Badlands were or are, but hopefully will know more after today. Taylor, Brennen and Payton are simply adorable. I will try to put some pics on tomorrow. Payton is so tough. He can fall or hurt himself and never cry. Well we are getting ready to go so, hope everyone has an awesome, God filled day. This verse from my reading today stands out to me.
"Do not abuse poor people because they are poor, and do not take away the rights of the needy in court. The Lord will defend them in court and will take the life of those who take away the rights." Proverbs 22:22-23

North Dakota

2009-08-07T22:05:00.002-04:00

Made it safely to North Dakota. Have got lots of hugs and loving from the Durbin children. Payton is cuter than ever if you can believe it. Brennen is still Brennen, not changed at all. Taylor is getting taller and growing into a beautiful young lady. Got up this am at 4:30am. It is now 10pm and I am so confused I don't know if it is home time or ND time but I am very sleepy. So am calling it a day and headed to bed. Tomorrow will be a long exciting day and I will get a chance to see more of North Dakota, all the way to Montana.
It feels good to know that there is time off work and time to have lots of hugs and fun.

Dogs

2009-08-06T21:51:00.002-04:00

I am trying to write this blog while at Lisa's. Well, the dogs are jealous of each other. The puppy just plays and runs and barks. Abbie, the large dog can not stand the puppy
Sam getting any attention. So she comes over and Sam tries to play and then Abbie snaps at her. They do not get along but they are not able to keep away from each other. Where one goes, the other follows and the fight is on. I am trying to type while one puts his head under my right hand and Abbie is nudging my left hand. I can't take it!!!!!I breathed a sigh of relief once we dropped off Griswald with Miss Ginger but now at Lisa's it is worse than Griswald. If one eats the other one follows and growls. If one plays, the other wants the toy. If I am petting Abbie and Sharon plays with the puppy Sam, then Abbie no longer is content with me petting her and wants whoever is paying attention to Sam.
As crazy as this situation seems, it sort of reminds me of how we as humans act. We only seem to want what the other person wants or has. We are often content with what we have only until we see someone else getting attention from someone else. I guess we aren't that much different from Abbie and Sam. My prayer tonight is that I seek God with all of my being and am not distracted by what others are receiving or what they are doing. Tomorrow we fly out of Columbus at 6:20am so I am going to call it a night and dream of dogs............

Guest Blogger Tonight

2009-08-05T20:34:00.003-04:00

Anita is busy getting ready to leave on vacation tomorrow evening, so I will blog for her tonight. I thought I would include for you the letter I wrote to the lady that I will protect while Anita and Sharon are gone. If I get a good response she might let me blog more, hint, hint......
"Dear Ginger,
I know we have met before but Anita suggested that I formally introduce myself to you. Although I am small, I am not a puppy. I am almost three years old. My name is Griswald and I was named after a famous movie star. I answer to Gris, Grissy, or most anything. Anita also told me that while she and Sharon are running around, that I need to come stay with you and help you like I help them. This letter is just to let you know what to expect.
I wake up usually by 7 to be let out to chase cats or whatever else needs chased. Sometimes, Anita is awake enough to put leash on me so I won’t stray. If you prefer me not to chase neighbor’s cats you will probably want to put my leash on. I usually empty my bladder pretty quickly after holding it all night. If I am walked a little I can usually have my first bowel movement of the day. To make Anita mad, I sometimes won’t go and wait until I get back inside. I will try not to do this to you as you may not be as funny looking when you get mad. I am then ready to go back to bed or whatever you need me to help you with.
I am really good at watching television and letting you know when animals are trying to bother you. I have honed this skill to perfection. I usually eat and drink a little in morning but am more interested in staying where you are. After all, I am supposed to keep an eye on you. I am trying not to worry about who will watch after Anita & Sharon while they are gone. But, back to us. I think we will make a good team as long as you don’t get selfish and insist on doing things your way. I love to sit beside you or in your lap as this is the best way I have found to watch out and make sure nothing bothers you.
I have excellent ears and am very keen at picking out noises like doorbells and even car doors, three streets over. Don’t worry, while I am protecting you, you will be completely safe. Rest assured that no one and I mean no one will slip in on you. I like to go outside to check on the perimeter (and relieve myself) every couple hours during daylight hours. Around supper time or if you need to leave for day and then you return, that is usually when I need to empty my bowels again. Unless something is added to my diet, usually twice a day is fine. Anita insisted on me bringing my litter box with me but it is so embarrassing to me. People actually mistake me for a cat! I will use this box if I am closed up in a room with it and I am sure no one can see me. At night or if raining, I sometimes “go” in it to keep Anita and Sharon from complaining. This litter box is quite an accomplishment for me. I have to walk in and circle counter clockwise before the target is hit. If I walk clockwise, I will never even attempt the target. Sometimes if I am hurried, I might try to step out of litter box and the target outside of box is hit instead. Hey, nobody is perfect, look at Sharon.
Where was I? Oh yeah, my vet is Tammy Smith and I was treated for fleas a couple weeks ago, so I should be good for that one. I mean those humans can bring all kind of nasty stuff home to me. Once we go to bed I often like to get up and nibble on food and water. But if you get up with me then I no longer want to. Got it? I try not to drink much so we don’t have to go out. I will use the litter box at night if I have no alternative.
As for food, I like everything! I will not take food from you but I will be right there ready in case you drop something. That is included in my taking care of you. Oh, another thing about my bodily functions, sometimes Anita and Sharon embarrass me by giving me treats after I go. I go along with it just like I did when they trained me as a puppy. I usually bathe once a week or more often if needed. Anita usually combs my hair out so it dries just so so.
Lets see, what have I left out? Oh, yeah I will try not to crowd you out of bed but I do need to be in bed to make sure I am close if you need me. Hopefully Anita will remember my step so that I can easily assess the situation. I know most commands, but if I am under cover, I sometimes pretend that I don’t know what you are talking about. I definitely know the baby talk they use with me, such as “potty” “night night”, “go out”, and one I hate to admit, NO! I know my name well, but sometimes like to hear it so much that I don’t answer until you say it numerous times.
If you need to leave at any time, rest assured that I will protect your home and attack anyone unfortunate to be in my path. Sometimes I practice this on people you invite to your home. Don’t worry, I don’t leave teeth marks. To show that I am in my “super dog” mode, I usually start shaking as soon as I realize that you are leaving me. Rest assured that this is normal.
You may want to call and check up on Anita & Sharon. Anita’s number is 740-350-6301 and Sharon’s is 740-350-6304. It won’t cost you anything to check on them. If they are misbehaving, you may want to report it to Lisa. Her number is 740-591-1458. That will cost you to call, but thought you might want it just in case. You can also email Sharon or Anita if you want to. I hope you are ready for this experience. Anita told me that you are not used to a dog of my skills but I am sure that we can work this out. I will go easy on you since you have trusted me to take care of you. "
Love, Griswald...

Legacy

2009-08-04T21:03:00.002-04:00

This song that Nicole N. sings is what my heart is singing today. I want to leave a legacy, and make a mark just as these lyrics say.

"I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who
blessed your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy

I don't have to look too far or too long awhile
To make a lengthly list of all that I enjoy
It's an accumulating trinket and a treasure pile
Where moth and rust, thieves and such will soon enough destroy

Not well traveled, not well read, not well-to-do or well bred
Just want to hear instead, "Well Done" good and faithful one..."

Crazy Week

2009-08-03T21:34:00.002-04:00

VBS at church, funeral home tonight, funeral tomorrow, getting things done before heading to Columbus Thursday night. Lots of stuff pulling me this way and that. Trying to stay centered on God and realizing that all the "stuff" in the world will go away but God is forever. Very few things crowding into my life right now are "have to's" but I act as if they are. Is this a way for me to go round, beating my chest, saying look how busy I am, I must be important?
For tonight, I am putting away all outside things and concentrate on my Heavenly Father. I praise His majesty and sacredness. I reach out for His love and comfort. I listen for His gentle words, I read His word and lift up petitions and supplications to Him. For tonight I am hearing:
"Be still and know that I am God"

I was made for this.....

2009-08-02T21:20:00.002-04:00

Spent the weekend in Columbus with Lisa. Nice weekend even if it was with three dogs that don't get along. The Irish Festival in Dublin Ohio was awesome as usual and enjoyed the wonderful food there. This morning we went to church with Lisa and wouldn't you know it? God followed me to Reynoldsburg? The church there is studying a book in the Bible each week and today was the book of Esther. A short time ago my small group was studying women of the Bible and we had a good study of Queen Esther. Only two weeks ago I got some movies from the library and one was about the life of Esther. Well Dion spoke this morning about how Mordecai told Esther, to paraphrase, how do you know that you are not queen just for this purpose, saving your people. Dion made it personal and questioned each of us "How do you know that you were created just for this moment in time, exactly where you are" He spoke of dead end jobs, Godless jobs, etc. Maybe each of us was created to bring God into those dead end jobs or to touch the lives of those we work with. Anyways, this message smacked me big time. I will work in a ministry the beginning of September to hopefully bring healing to the hurt. Maybe I was created for such a time as that. And work, while I love the work, I get aggitated at the process sometimes, maybe I was created for such a time as this.......
Mordecai told Esther, if you don't save your people, someone else will. Do I want God to have to use someone else to do what I am in place to do? I pray that I will take the risk that Dion challenged us to and be that person of God, following in Esther's footsteps. Not easy footsteps, not sure that there won't be punishment footsteps but footsteps that lead me to where I am supposed to be.

PIcs from this summer

2009-08-01T21:44:00.005-04:00

2009-07-31T22:30:00.001-04:00

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.

This sounds like me!!!!

2009-07-30T21:32:00.002-04:00

"Having a second home afloat is nothing new. But some recent developments at sea can alleviate the traditional concerns of maintenance and storage, as well as the challenge of open-boat living for people who have little or no sailing expertise."

The most revolutionary floating option is The World, the first and only condo cruise ship, where second-home owners visit dozens of destinations from Anchorage to Acapulco, San Francisco to Sydney, Vancouver to Vladivostok. The ship launched in 2002, and by 2006 all 165 apartments had been sold, buyers lured by the mantra "Travel the World Without Leaving Home."

Loved this story. I mean you get to stay at home (your condo) but your home visits other countries.......I hope Brian gets a good job after graduation to buy me a condo on a cruise ship!!!

July 29th

2009-07-29T21:18:00.003-04:00

July 29th is a special day for two very special people in my life. It is my sister's anniversary. It has been 35+ years since they said "I do". My sister took care of me a lot when I was a child and when I had rheumatic fever and couldn't walk, she carried me on one hip. She always said she was one sided from this! When she began to work and have some money, she would always take me to BBF for a "Borden Burger". She bought her own clothes and would let me borrow some of the tops, sometimes. So my sister has always been important to me. But when I was going through one of the most difficult times of my life, she and her husband were my rock. They believed in me when I thought I had no value and could never succeed at anything. I went back to college and she was my loudest cheerleader. She sent me cards continuously urging me on and telling me how proud she was of me. She loved my children, and would spend time with them doing silly things. My brother in law is from Brooklyn and likes to pretend he is tough, but with me he has always gone out of his way to be a sweetheart. He paid me to mow grass just so I could have some money and he bought me a car and let me take forever to pay him for it.
So for today I want to express my gratitude and love for these very special people in my life. They managed to assist me when times were tough while still letting me keep my dignity. They believed in me until I finally believed in myself. There is nothing that they would not do to help me or my children. I have been so blessed with riches that surround me and two of them just happen to be called Sue & Bill

Proverbs 21:31

2009-07-28T21:03:00.002-04:00

" You can get the horses ready for battle, but it is the Lord who gives the victory"

This was in my Bible reading tonight and really stuck with me. How many times do I think that it is me winning the victory? And then other times, I want the victory given to me, but I am too lazy to get the horses ready? My heavenly Father is just waiting on me, cheering me on, waiting for me to come before him ready for battle. I like to think positively but in reality it becomes more evident each day just how prevalent evil is in our world. So for tonight ( and hopefully a couple more days) I will keep this scripture forefront in my mind. this scripture reminds me that there is a battle and I can be prepared or not. It also reminds me that God gives me everything I need, the horses and everything I need to prepare to come before Him, but remembering that it is He that guarantees and wins the victory.

Mondays

2009-07-27T21:59:00.002-04:00

Boy are Monday's tough! My brain just does not want to work today. I had to have two of my computer passwords reset today because I could not remember them. I remembered them first thing this morning but later could not get them right and got locked up for trying the wrong one too many times.
After work I went to visit my mom who is having problems with her left hip hurting her. She was just getting back to full throttle after her knee replacement and is once again walking with a cane. She is in really good shape for her age and sharp mentally too. But I think the pain pills she is on is dulling her wit a little right now. Hoping she gets better soon.
Bible study tonight we talked about detours in our life, in our study of knowing God's will. This group of ladies continue to encourage and strengthen me. I am so glad that even things someone meant for evil, God means for good. There is nothing that touches me that my heavenly father can not make for good for me. I have a couple open doors right now. I am trying to take things slowly and pray and seek God's will......So as I wind down on this Monday night, I think Jesus for redeeming my life.

Thought Provoking.....

2009-07-26T21:21:00.000-04:00

By ROBERTO MICHELETTI

One of America’s most loyal Latin American allies—Honduras—has been in the midst of a constitutional crisis that threatens its democracy. Sadly, key undisputed facts regarding the crisis have often been ignored by America’s leaders, at least during the earliest days of the crisis.

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Corbis

In recent days, the rhetoric from allies of former President Manuel Zelaya has also dominated media reporting in the U.S. The worst distortion is the repetition of the false statement that Mr. Zelaya was removed from office by the military and for being a “reformer.” The truth is that he was removed by a democratically elected civilian government because the independent judicial and legislative branches of our government found that he had violated our laws and constitution.

Let’s review some fundamental facts that cannot be disputed:

• The Supreme Court, by a 15-0 vote, found that Mr. Zelaya had acted illegally by proceeding with an unconstitutional “referendum,” and it ordered the Armed Forces to arrest him. The military executed the arrest order of the Supreme Court because it was the appropriate agency to do so under Honduran law.

• Eight of the 15 votes on the Supreme Court were cast by members of Mr. Zelaya’s own Liberal Party. Strange that the pro-Zelaya propagandists who talk about the rule of law forget to mention the unanimous Supreme Court decision with a majority from Mr. Zelaya’s own party. Thus, Mr. Zelaya’s arrest was at the instigation of Honduran’s constitutional and civilian authorities—not the military.

• The Honduran Congress voted overwhelmingly in support of removing Mr. Zelaya. The vote included a majority of members of Mr. Zelaya’s Liberal Party.

• Independent government and religious leaders and institutions—including the Supreme Electoral Tribunal, the Administrative Law Tribunal, the independent Human Rights Ombudsman, four-out-of-five political parties, the two major presidential candidates of the Liberal and National Parties, and Honduras’s Catholic Cardinal—all agreed that Mr. Zelaya had acted illegally.

• The constitution expressly states in Article 239 that any president who seeks to amend the constitution and extend his term is automatically disqualified and is no longer president. There is no express provision for an impeachment process in the Honduran constitution. But the Supreme Court’s unanimous decision affirmed that Mr. Zelaya was attempting to extend his term with his illegal referendum. Thus, at the time of his arrest he was no longer—as a matter of law, as far as the Supreme Court was concerned—president of Honduras.

• Days before his arrest, Mr. Zelaya had his chief of staff illegally withdraw millions of dollars in cash from the Central Bank of Honduras.

• A day or so before his arrest, Mr. Zelaya led a violent mob to overrun an Air Force base to seize referendum ballots that had been shipped into Honduras by Hugo Chávez’s Venezuelan government.

• I succeeded Mr. Zelaya under the Honduran constitution’s order of succession (our vice president had resigned before all of this began so that he could run for president). This is and has always been an entirely civilian government. The military was ordered by an entirely civilian Supreme Court to arrest Mr. Zelaya. His removal was ordered by an entirely civilian and elected Congress. To suggest that Mr. Zelaya was ousted by means of a military coup is demonstrably false.

Regarding the decision to expel Mr. Zelaya from the country the evening of June 28 without a trial, reasonable people can believe the situation could have been handled differently. But it is also necessary to understand the decision in the context of genuine fear of Mr. Zelaya’s proven willingness to violate the law and to engage in mob-led violence.

The way forward is to work with Costa Rican President Oscar Arias. He is proposing ways to ensure that Mr. Zelaya complies with Honduras’s laws and its constitution and allows the people of Honduras to elect a new president in the regularly scheduled Nov. 29 elections (or perhaps earlier, if the date is moved up as President Arias has suggested and as Honduran law allows).

If all parties reach agreement to allow Mr. Zelaya to return to Honduras—a big “if”—we believe that he cannot be trusted to comply with the law and therefore it is our position that he must be prosecuted with full due process.

President Arias’s proposal for a moratorium on prosecution of all parties may be considered, but our Supreme Court has indicated that such a proposal presents serious legal problems under our constitution.

Like America, our constitutional democracy has three co-equal and independent branches of government—a fact that Mr. Zelaya ignored when he openly defied the positions of both the Supreme Court and Congress. But we are ready to continue discussions once the Supreme Court, the attorney general and Congress analyze President Arias’s proposal. That proposal has been turned over to them so that they can review provisions that impact their legal authority. Once we know their legal positions we will proceed accordingly.

The Honduran people must have confidence that their Congress is a co-equal branch of government. They must be assured that the rule of law in Honduras applies to everyone, even their president, and that their Supreme Court’s orders will not be dismissed and swept aside by other nations as inconvenient obstacles.

Meanwhile, the other elements of the Arias proposal, especially the establishment of a Truth Commission to make findings of fact and international enforcement mechanisms to ensure Mr. Zelaya complies with the agreement, are worthy of serious consideration.

Mr. Zelaya’s irresponsible attempt on Friday afternoon to cross the border into Honduras before President Arias has obtained agreement from all parties—an attempt that U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton appropriately described as “reckless”—was just another example of why Mr. Zelaya cannot be trusted to keep his word.

Regardless of what happens, the worst thing the U.S. can do is to impose economic sanctions that would primarily hurt the poorest people in Honduras. Rather than impose sanctions, the U.S. should continue the wise policies of Mrs. Clinton. She is supporting President Arias’s efforts to mediate the issues. The goal is a peaceful solution that is consistent with Honduran law in a civil society where even the president is not above the law.

Stalled Journey

2009-06-09T18:40:00.002-04:00

Sometimes it seems like the more that happens, the less I write. Will try to get back into practice of putting my thoughts here.
We are beginning a new study in small group, concerning knowing God's will. I am really looking forward to this study and hope I can come away with some concrete, continuous method of looking for, understanding and applying God's will in my life. I don't remember every reading or studying specifically, God's will, so this will be a first for me.
So many of the people that I work with and care about are going through difficult times right now and I feel at a loss to make a difference with them. I pray that I can be there for them and pray for them. I feel honored when a coworker asks me to pray for them. And my clients right now are all seemingly in turmoil. I don't know if it is the unsettling economy that brings out all our "warts" or what but business is brisk right now. too brisk. It is very clear these days that without God I could not begin to do my job. It is sad that I had to get overwhelmed to admit this though.
I continue to be in awe of my children. They teach me daily about the important things in life. I am so blessed to call them mine. Karen comes home soon for a short visit and I can hardly wait. Go figure, Brian will be in Honduras and Karen will be here?
On Facebook, there are so many quizes and tests and "what quiz show are you?" I don't do them because I am too lazy but what if God had "what kind of christian are you?" application? I would be ashamed when it would be posted for all to see. In all honesty, it would probably say something like, "sometime christian". Oh I don't change my mind and sometimes choose not to act christian, but do I always remember who I represent? That is my food for thought for tonight.

Easter

2009-04-12T18:51:00.002-04:00

I enjoyed the seasonal activities of Easter; coloring eggs, eating ham and deviled eggs. But as my mind centered on the resurrection of Jesus I am sobered. I can't even imagine a love that would cause me to let my child die for someone's bad choices. I think I love my children unconditionally, totally and while I hope I would give up my life for them, how could you give up their live for someone that was not even close to being the superior character they were? I am so grateful that my heavenly father was willing to give up his son for me. Wow! Just blows my mind and is so much beyond my comprehension.
So today, I am so thankful that God has a love that far surpasses any human love. I am thankful that Jesus went through with the crucifixion to rise again. His death and resurrection means I am covered from all the dumb and selfish things I do. I am so humbled that I can take part in this great love.............

What if......

2009-04-08T21:08:00.002-04:00

we long too much for what's next, without enjoying that's now?

we think too much, believe too little?

we talk a lot, but listen sporadically?

we go through the practices of worship, but never really worship?

I, for one find it much easier to do the first over the latter. Why does the human rule the spiritual in my life? Why does what is dying, have so much power over that which will never die? I have the questions, and I also have the answers.....
What rules, is what is fed. I feed my physical much more than I feed my spirit. I hope to find the place where I can feed one less and gorge on feeding the eternal. But this is just another step in my journey and the results are out of this world.......

Today's song of my heart

2009-03-25T19:51:00.001-04:00

Here in this world that you've designed
From the rolling plains to the oceans
Deep and wide
Where are the words that can say what's
In my heart
All that I am is amazed by who you are
The one thing I desire
Is just to know you more
To live a life that moves and breathes
And loves to bring you joy
So fill me with a fire
That burns away my doubts and all my fears
Into a place where you are all I hear
It's the one thing I desire
To do what you require
Is the one thing I desire

To love when I'd rather turn away
To give when I'm more resigned to take
To reach out a hand to someone who
Feels alone
The way you reached for me
When there seemed to be no hope
I'll live my life serving Christ
Offering a sacrifice of praise

Smiling Honduran Pictures

2009-02-09T21:46:00.003-05:00

A Country Song

2009-02-07T23:25:00.003-05:00

“I cried all the way to Houston” sounds like the words to a country song. However it was my life today. Karen and Dorian took us to the airport after we said final good byes to the children and staff at Casa. Everything went well until it was time to go through security and leave Karen. & Dorian. No matter how prepared I think I am I still cry at goodbyes. The gentleman checking my passport just smiled and shook his head as tears streamed down my face. Then for security, which I passed fine after I remembered to take my cell phone out of my pocket. I still couldn’t see very well at this time due to my tears. Sharon got stopped in security and they searched her purse. They took her fingernail clipper set and she was just happy that she made it down there with it so she had it to use while in Honduras. We could still see Karen & Dorian through glass wall as they went down the stairs and exited the terminal. We then went clear to the end of the gate area where we watched through tinted windows as they went to their car. As they were preparing to drive out of airport, we began waving and sure enough they spotted us and returned the wave.
We settled in to wait for our flight. I visited a shop and was tempted to buy a Honduras map that had Santa Ana on it until I learned the price was $5. I figured I could get one of the internet for free.
Takeoff was fine, but I could not stop weeping. Tears fell down my face and those around me afforded me the dignity of not mentioning it. So yes I did indeed cry all or most of the way to Houston. Just couldn’t seem to get past the sadness.
While at Houston I called Brian and just the sound of hearing his voice made me weepy again. When I called Lisa she was with someone so it was a quick call and I didn't have a chance to get weepy. Later I called my Mom and she told me that Lisa had already called her to tell her that I was in USA. She was involved with activities of looking for a first time house to buy and she stopped to call Grandma........ok, Lisa had me weeping also.
God has seen fit to bless me with three fantastic children who have taken risks instead of taking the easy way out and I am so proud of them. The day I left Lisa at OU twisted my heart. I know she was scared but she stuck it out and look at her now! Karen started taking risks in ever widening circles; San Diego, Denver and then Honduras. Brian knew what he wanted and he enrolled in college in Arkansas, a long way from home, family and friends. I am so thankful for the honor and privilege of being Mom to these three exceptional adults. And as if that was not enough treasures that God blessed me with, he gave me another son in Dorian. he loves God and adores Karen, what more could you want? So as I am flying back to home, yes I am still weeping because this is what love does. It leaves marks on your heart and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Friday

2009-02-06T22:24:00.002-05:00

Took Dorian and Karen out to dinner tonight. It was a beautiful day and beautiful restaurant. Something that I have not experienced before was the lady in pic above who brought the cart to table and made the salsa for chips right there. Food was excellent and company was awesome. It has been wonderful to spend some time here and Karen bought her and Dorian a Scrabble game tonight. We did not play scrabble any while we were here. We did play dominoes one night. We also went to a large mall with a store similar to Super Walmart. They had everything there and lots of American stuff. All that is left is packing and saying our goodbyes. Pray that we have a safe return and Dorian and Karen don't cry all week with us leaving. Dorian is a doll and always treats me with the greatest respect and courtesy. (He even told me today that I was not fat). So he is a little dishonest, he is still a really awesome guy. It is good to see them mature in marriage and in God.

Thursday

2009-02-05T20:32:00.006-05:00

Today was an interesting day, one that tested my domestic abilities. We started out by going to Delma's house. Delma lives close to Casa and makes tortillas for Casa and she was willing to show us how she makes them. She buys huge bags (50 lbs.) of corn and takes the corn to another residence that has an electric grinder that grinds the corn kernals. She then takes the ground corn meal and mixes it with lime. No not lime juice, but lime as in put on your garden. It should be noted that only a few teaspoons are added to a huge amount of cornmeal.

Then it is kneaded until it is soft (by adding water a little at a time). Then a small amount of this is placed on a press and made into a perfect tortilla. that was then placed on a wood adobe stove heated by wood fire. Well I was trying to learn how to make them but it did not go well. I was able to "kneed" it but I could not get the hang of pressing them. They were either very big, very little, too thin or too thick. No matter how many times I tried, I could not get it right. But to make me feel better, Delma allowed one of mine to make it to the stove. I advised her that she should charge extra for that one because a gringo made it. She showed her business saviness by instantly telling Karen that she would sell the one I made to Karen for extra money. So I sorta failed at the tortilla making.

Karen has a recipie for French Onion Soup that she wanted fixed for supper as she and Dorian discovered that they like it. Well I don't even like French Onion Soup, but today I made it from scratch and guess what? They liked it!!! Go figure. So today was not a total loss.

Wednesday

2009-02-04T21:07:00.002-05:00

Today was a quiet day and I did not do much. Karen sent one of the children to get me a little before lunch. Doris was inconsolably sobbing and kept repeating "Mami". She cried tears and moaned and was clearly in turmoil. For a while Doris let me rock her and hold her tight. I hugged her and kissed her and told her that Jesus loved her. Then she got to a point where she did not want to be touched by anyone and continued to sob. She would sporadically get up and start to play and then dissolve into moaning again. It appeared that she was having some sort of flashback maybe to times where she was abused. It was so sad to see her in such agony. She eventually calmed down but it was a long process. I was so frustrated while trying to calm Doris. She is almost impossible to communicate with and could not tell us what she was feeling.
I was struck by how God must feel when we are wailing and we fail to communicate. How many times have I been in pain and expected God to fix it and but failed to ask him or tell him what is wrong? How many times does he hold us until we get angry and lash out at Him? I got frustrated with Doris today and my inability to soothe her. Wow, I am glad that my heavenly Father has infinite patience and all knowing ability to what I need. So when I have a melt down I am blessed with a father that knows what I need even when I don't. God is good!
Went with Karen to exchange two propane cyclinders this afternoon. First, we stopped at a leather shop in ojojona to see if she could get some of the boy's school belts repaired, as they cost $5.00 new and she had 4 in need of repair. The leather shop sent us into the shop where they were actually making leather items. He fixed the belts for a little more than $1.00. He also told Karen that he could make new ones out of better leather for $4.oo each when she needs new ones. It was very interesting to watch them cut, stamp, sew and glue leather. I did think it a little odd to watch one person stamping leather with "El Salvador". Little will the person know that the souvenier from El Salvador was made in a little village in Honduras.
Next we stopped at the pulperia (store) to exchange the propane tanks. I sat in the car and waited. Nothing happens quickly in Honduras so exchaning two tanks and buying phone cards took forever........By the time we were headed back to Casa it was starting to sprinkle. Just enough to make a mess of the windshield but not enough to wipe it clear. We returned to Casa and the wind had picked up even more and it was getting colder. Karen fixed supper; a recipie from her wedding recipie book. Oh another delicacy was that we bought some red raspberries last week at market. What was left the ladies in the kitchen here, made juice from them and had added some lemon juice, sugar, and who knows what else. It was awesome. I really think I am gaining weight here, not what I wanted. Well I am off to bed......

Tuesday

2009-02-03T21:58:00.003-05:00

Today was another beautiful day. I got to watch the children today for an hour that seemed like six days.........they were actually pretty good, with one or two exceptions. But just the responsibility of knowing that I was responsible for them, was enough. And I only had 11 not the full 13. Well just keeping an eye on them seemed hard to me. I love these children and love to hug on them and see them smile but I am definitely wanting to be grandma to them not momma. I am sure that I would starve if I had to watch children for a living. I will post a few pics of the children here at Casa.

Pics from Monday

2009-02-02T21:23:00.006-05:00

Monday

2009-02-02T20:32:00.002-05:00

Today was tiring. About ten of us built a house for a family here in Santa Ana. Right now the house they have has a great grandma, grandma, her three children and two grandchildren. the mother of two children and her sister will move to this new house. I pounded in more nails today than I have in probably a lifetime. I hurt now but I consider it a privilege to have had the opportunity to help. There were five of us ladies and we put up siding on three sides and laid the floor. The home is approximately 16 X 16 and since there is no electricity on building sites a chain saw is used for any cuts. In fact the door and one window is cut out using chain saw. The family was so excited that they could hardly wait for us to leave to start sweeping it out. Well I only hit my thumb once but once was enough. I have body parts sore that I did not know existed. But it is a good tired.
The really hard part of the day came after supper tonight. Dorian is going back to college and he was having trouble with a college algebra problem. Well any of you who know me know that I went into social services because I can't do math. Well this problem is a word problem, written in Spanish. I managed to write out the problem, believe it or not with x's and y's but that was as far as I could get. So I got on line and found Lisa on. She was able to get the answer (after me finally writing the problem to her in Spanish) She was a little upset that I explained it three different ways three different times and wanted the problem to dicipher herself. I was still feeling pretty smart for being able to look at a word problem in Spanish and being able to write the equation and then Lisa asked what chapter Dorian was in. Well I thought she had totally lost it. But then she wanted to know if he was in a chapter with quadratic equations? Ok not feeling quite so smart now. Anyways Lisa solved it and emailed it to Dorian.....I used parts of my brain that I have never used in years......so maybe this little exercise warded off the Alzheimers a little longer........I will post pics of today in a little while. I need to go put some water on my brain..........it is smoking...........

Sunday

2009-02-01T22:45:00.005-05:00

I will let my pictures speak for me today

This was right before the hammock broke with me and two girls on it!

Karen and Dorian this am.
Fitto and Dorian this afternoon

Saturday

2009-01-31T23:07:00.002-05:00

It was an absolutely beautiful here in Santa Ana today. I did bits and pieces today. Work on a leaky commode, read some; eat, work on leaky sink, read some and eat; get the children's extra school uniforms out of bodega, read some and eat. Do you see a pattern here? Yep I like to eat. for lunch the ladies here had fried corn tortilla strips and placed chicken cooked in tomato sauce on top of the strips and then topped it with a version of cole slaw. It was really good. Thankfully I had my drink of orange juice with me when I went to lunch. The juice for today was beet and lemon juice. Not bad just couldn't get past the beet thing. For supper we had quesidillas and Karen taught me how to make them the correct way! I usually lose a little weight here because I don't have the high calorie sweets but this time I may gain! I am loving eating the fresh fruit. Pineapples, bananas, melons; I could almost live on them. Well them and caffeine:)
There is always so much going on here that it is hard to keep track of. Today, the house parents were moving as they found another job, Dorian was helping them pack and doing homework and then drove a load to their new home; three hours away. There is a lady here from Fla. who is working on assessing the children and maybe starting counseling. She and her daughter in law came for the weekend. So the lady and Karen spent all day meeting individually with the children. Sandra, one of the ladies who works here got all the children's school uniforms and had the children try them on to see what needs purchased before school begins middle of February.
I will post some pics of the children here at Casa and say goodnight.
I can't get pics to upload tonight, so until tomorrow..............Hasta manana

Friday

2009-01-30T20:01:00.003-05:00

I am tired tonight. We got up this morning and headed to the market after Karen got the children ready for visitation with their parents but others were able to take them. I had asked Karen to go to the market with her as I had yet to experience it. The market area is crammed with people, and tents of fruits and vegetables and a few other things. Parking is scarce and a little girl "helped" us park and for "watching the car" you tip her afterwards. The market was a little different. I thought we would have to go from stall to stall but Karen works with one lady and gives her the order (every two weeks) for the orphanage. What that lady does not have, she gets from others. While she compiles the order we look around the others. Well I found four seedless watermelons for $1 which beats Kroger any day. We bought lots for maybe $7. We also found a gentleman selling new pots and pans. Well we decided to buy a set for Karen and Dorian for their first anniversary which is approaching. The box said that lids had 24 carat gold? Doubt that. But they now have a selection of pots for when they want to cook without borrowing from Casa. I thought I was very shrewd and talked the gentleman into throwing in two teeny tiny aluminum cups. When we were done, a boy with a cart pushed the whole order (a lot) to our vehicle. He loaded it and we tipped him and the girl for watching our car.
I was feeling pretty good about myself at this point and we were circling the stadium to get out. The road to bridge we needed to take was stopped and big trucks were backing back down it. So we were stopped in traffic and I decided to take a pic of the homes on the hillside. Well before I knew it a man was wrestling me for my camera. I tried for a while, with both of my hands and both of his hands on the camera. In the end he won and ran away with my camera. If I had taken my arthritis medicine I could whipped him. For one split second, I actually considered biting his hand but decided against it. Karen was upset about me not being careful and I admit that I was stupid and all it took was one second. The fun continued as we pulled on down and told the policia that was sitting there on motorcycles. We circled the stadium again and we neared one store, I saw the back of what I thought was the thief entering a store that I thought was a pawn shop. Well I had Karen pull over and we waved down police and told him...He was hesitant to go into the store as he did not have a gun. He eventually went in and came out with the guy wearing the beige shirt that I saw enter the store....Along with the guy wearing the beige shirt was his employer who owne dthe store. This was not the same guy. Ay, aye aye.....the policeman i think was embarrassed and if we had found the guy selling the camera he wouldn't have listened to us again!
Next Karen took us to a small upscale restaurant called Portico. It was small, immaculate and fantastic food. Then we went to a fabric store for Karen to find some fabric to recover her pillows since she now has a new quilt. Then we headed home. On the way home there were people, dogs, and cows in the road that Karen had to stop for or swerve to miss. There is nothing boring about Honduras.
We arrived back at Casa to find that David had brought the five brothers to visit. As I got out of the vehicle I told Yovanni "Hola, Como estas?" He replied that he now speaks English. They have enrolled all the boys in a bilingual private school. It was so good to see the boys and get their precious hugs. They enjoyed riding the bicycles and visiting with their friends still here at Casa.

Thursday

2009-01-29T20:46:00.006-05:00

I woke up to another beautiful day in Honduras. I eventually made it over to where the childre

n are and Karen had them all practicing writing their names. A couple small ones just make marks and pretend that they are. Cindy was proud of hers so I took a pic of it.
Cindy is devious, sometimes mean, always up to something but I love her dearly. She is very intelligent and hopefully her strong will will be used for God and not for bad.
I have been through some tough times with Cindy and it is nice to see her at peace now compared to how she used to be.

We walked to a local park and let the children play. They appeared to have lots of fun and I will post some pics of them playing there.

This afternoon I was able to read some more (I have finished two already) and Karen fixed supper. I think she was afraid that Dorian would leave her if I cooked again. I helped Karen stock the store at Casa with chips etc. as today the frito lay man came. Let me tell you Frito Lay in the states has been holding back on us. They make all kind of stuff that we never see. And Karen says the bread man comes tomorrow. Can't wait to see what they have.
What is peace? Do I have it? Do I chase after it? Sometimes I just pray for peace but fail to do the things in my life that will bring me peace. Like repeating gossip, judging others and just negative thinking. So for today I am trying to practice self-control so that I will have more peace.

Wednesday

2009-01-28T20:54:00.006-05:00

Today started with making baloney sandwiches and we then took a trip to the city dump of Tegucigalpa. Trucks are continuously pulling in and dumping. As we entered the dump area, people started running to the truck. We handed out one sandwich with an orange and then they were given a glass of water. They appeared more thirsty than hungry almost. They were very polite and mostly men and boys but there were enough young women with babies to make it even sadder. I took pictures and a couple short videos but they do not do it justice. Some of the people do not live at the dump but come to pick through and find plastic bottles to recycle for money. But some were covered in what appeared to be immense layers of dirt. There were birds and cows feeding on the garbage and people actually fighting them for items. I think of a few times that I have had to go through my own trash because I lost something. That was gross to me. But to go through others garbage and have their garbage as your food? And then I think of medical trash and the like and wonder how any stay healthy at the dump long. There were some cardboard boxes where it appeared that some were staying. Giving them a sandwich, orange and cup of water is so appreciated. But in Honduras, one doesn't have to go to a dump to see hungry, dirty people with really no place to live. It is everywhere.

After the dump we went to a domestic violence shelter's store. It is called the firefly. They make beautiful candles and sell. By doing this they are teaching the ladies how to earn money and the money from the sale of the candles is used for the shelter. I considered it an honor to purchase a candle and make a small donation.
After that we went to a shop in downtown Teguc that specializes in pewter. They also have Lenca pottery which is quite beautiful. I guess Lencas is a type of indians here in Honduras.
We heard someone yell at Karen and we turned to see Rudy outside the store. Rudy used to live at Casa de Esperanza but ran away. He finally returned to his mother where he sleeps at night but during the day, he runs the streets and begs. He was taken from streets since he left Casa and placed in a state orphanage but he has ran away. Rudy was with a couple other boys and I was fearful that he would not say much with his friends being there. He waited outside the store for probably 30 minutes. And he gave me a hug when I asked for one and let me get a picture of him and me.
So for tonight I am feeling tired and thankful. I am thankful that I have been blessed beyond my wildest imagination. I am like one of those people at the dump, searching for what I think is a way to survive but my heavenly Father is standing there constantly, not just occasionally, with a sip of water and a banquet prepared for me. All I have to do is just be there and take what he gives, just like the people at the dump. Am I thankful? Or do I just come to expect that he will be there before I give up and it is all expected. Or do I think I make my own way by "doing"? At those times I am just as silly as those in the dump searching through others garbage to survive.
I am also reading a Joyce Meyer book, and tonight I read about kindness. Their was a definition that you weren't being kind if you thought the other person deserved "niceness". Being kind was to be nice to those that you feel do not deserve it. Ouch! Thanks, I needed that one. All of those that I care about in Ohio, please be careful on the roads and know that I am not missing it one bit!

Tuesday

2009-01-27T20:18:00.005-05:00

I woke up today to rain. But I wasn't about to complain when I heard what the weather was like at home. I offered to clean out the bodega (storage building) for Karen today. Any of you who know Karen, know she likes organization. Well lately some stuff had been thrown in there and it was a mess. And of course she had to tell me that some of things seen in there previously were mice, snakes and scorpions. That is what I get for laughing about all those who are dealing with snow today.
Well I managed to get a baby bed apart which was no small accomplishment, and I climbed the "ladder" and put the bed up on the third level with other baby stuff. It was a mess up there but I was finally able to move everything around and got all the baby bed parts organized. And all the other baby stuff organized; strollers, car seats, potty chairs, etc.
To make the bodega even more of a mess, recently another bodega had been cleaned out and tools were added to what Karen considers "her" bodega. So, cleaned out a front corner to put numerous shovels, axes, picks, etc. Then there was the generator, welder and a multitude of hand tools, nails, caulking, etc. Finally this was put in some order and I place several rugs, pillows, etc on shelves. I found a lot of toys that were not being used, such as play kitchen, etc. and the children were happy to have new toys to play with.
By the way, I was glad that I got my tetanus shot updated. Not sure why but there was a new roll of barb wire which I moved but my knee got in the way. Not only did it make a hole in my pants, I have a cut on my leg. Oh, well. It was very stuffy, humid and dirty in the bodega and by the time I was done, I was soaking wet from sweat and very dirty. AI was reminded of Lisa's freshman year at OU when we moved her in, I was sure I was suffering a heart attack. Well today there were a few moments where it felt the same. Boy am I getting old.
After lunch(which I ate every bite) I took a shower and read a parenting book of Karen's. It is all about parenting children of trauma. Very thought provoking. Then I cooked supper tonight. Karen wanted creamed potatoes so that is what she got along with chicken nuggets and mozzarella sticks. Also had fresh watermelon and pineapple which I love. It is cool here tonight so I am sitting on couch with a cover over me, finishing up my day. Oh I found some rice flour here in honduras and it was from Thailand and is cheaper than I can find it in the states?
So for pics I have some pics of bodega and my lunch plate of eggs, refried beans, slaw, and rice. So for tonight I am tired and my muscles are tired and I am trying very hard not to worry about the elderly at home who will be affected by the winter storm they are getting.

Monday

2009-01-26T21:47:00.003-05:00

I slept in late today and took it easy this morning. Sat around reading and drinking iced tea. It was another beautiful day but with a little more wind. When Dorian got home from his classes we went into town to get some groceries. Dorian took us out to eat with a gift card he had received. It was really good and after that we went to get groceries. We went to a store that has a lot of American products. The biggest surprise was cheese. American cheese was maybe 4 slices for a dollar. Even cheddar cheese was about the same. Karen wanted some cheese for a potato soup and creamed potatoes that she wants me to make while I am here. So she bought a huge block of cheese and is going to freeze most of it. On the way home The took us to a cross that is here at Santa Ana. It is a cross made entirely of automobile parts. By the time we got to it it was mostly dark so the pics did not turn out real well. I am enjoying taking it easy and spending time with Karen. Here are a few pics.

Sunday

2009-01-25T22:42:00.004-05:00

I was very sleepy this morning, and had to push myself to get up and ready for church. Dorian had a good sermon from what I understood. The church is Santa Ana is growing. The temps were in the 70's and just right. Doris is one of the new children here. She is so sweet. She is 12 and can not even write her name. Karen says she has come a long way since she came here...She simply has no idea how to act around people. It is almost impossible to make eye contact with her. She is very shy and backwards but very loving. She just doesn't know how to love and really squeezes sometimes. Cindy Lou is just Cindy. She is maturing and becoming a beautiful young lady. Pamela had surgery on her foot but is doing well. I was able to be in a hammock today and read some. I would say I "lay" in the hammock but that would not be accurate. It would not open out and I spent 1-2 hours fighting it but still enjoying a wonderful, beautiful day. I picked up a book from Karen's bookshelf and it is a Joyce Meyer book. As I began it I was pleasantly surprised to find it is about the fruit of the spirit. Interesting book. Karen also wants me to read a book on child psychology but I just could not get into it today.
I love street fairs and we went to Ojojona today for one. I have never seen so many people in that little village. I love Ojojona, it is so quaint and beautiful and clean. Today there were people, horses, cars, police everywhere. I love a street fair and today was perfect. I will post a couple pics (one of Rosita and myself and Cindy at church) and I will try to post a video I tried to shoot while landing at teguc. I don't think it did the landing justice though. As you watch it keep in mind that I never moved the camera, any views that quickly shift from land to sky to land again is actually how it goes. Well I am ready for bed.........take care.

Quilt

2009-01-24T22:15:00.001-05:00

This is the quilt that Lisa made for Karen & Dorian. Talented girls huh?

Antonio & me:)

2009-01-24T21:57:00.000-05:00

In Hondo Land

2009-01-24T18:30:00.000-05:00

Arrived safe and sound in Honduras today. Both flights were uneventful, just how I like them. It was 76 in Tegucigalpa when we landed today. Not to rub it in, but it was also sunny. I am sitting on Karen & Dorian's back porch now watching the sun begin to set. It is so peaceful even hearing the 13 children talk while they take baths sounds peaceful to me. I did a really stupid thing....Karen has been wanting to have home made bread but flour and yeast, etc is expensive here and she wanted me to help her try to make some from scratch while I was here. Well, I decided to take her some frozen bread dough. Yep you heard me. I took frozen dough in a suitcase. It stayed in the suitcase for 7 hours and I was worried. At one point on the flight from Houston to Tegucigalpa they announced for Anita Vaughan to turn on service light to identify self. It was then that I knew that the dough had been put next to a heat source and has risen, and risen, and I had visions of Ghostbusters type bread dough ran amuck..........but they were simply bringing me my gluten free breakfast. whew....Well they gave me a bowl of corn flakes with gluten in them, a banana, and a bagel. Yep, regular old wheat bagel, full of gluten. Lucky for me I had a bag of Jordan Almonds with me that I had the foresight to purchase in Houston.
I had an awesome surprise when I arrived at Teguc. Jen, David, and Sam had brought the five brothers and their mom to meet me. Yep, Antonio was hugging my neck and calling me grandma nita. Those boys hold a special place in my heart and Antonio triple so. Also got to hug on Saul and Carlos..........And yes I got to hug on Karen and Dorian. When I am here it seems like it is just normal to be here. It is so far from Ohio in so many ways. Oh the bread dough was fine and is rising right now as some rolls, ham & cheese rolls, and cheese bread. See it wasn't stupid after all.......I am just hoping that she doesn't want something more exotic next time:). I will try to post some pics later unsure if the internet here will let me.. Until next time..........

One more day....

2009-01-22T20:30:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow after work I will head to Columbus to stay with Lisa so she can drop Sharon and me at airport in middle of night. Actually it will be sometime around 5am. but right now that sounds like the middle of the night. I have most everything packed and am trying to remember what I am forgetting. I am really excited to be hugging Karen and Dorian soon and spending time with some of the sweetest kids on earth. And it will be warm!!!!
But I have to make it through tomorrow first. I am supposed to got MMH for pre admission tests for a procedure when I return home. I don't know how I will fit this in with everything that I need to get caught up at work but I know it will be fine and tomorrow at 4p I will be free for two weeks of my normal daily stress and will exchange it for some good times and hopefully slow times in Honduras. Lisa will be watching Griswald so I am praying that he behaves. Packing for him is almost harder than packing for me.
Hopefully I will have the time and internet to blog while in Honduras...........

A Historic Time?

2009-01-19T21:08:00.001-05:00

Oftentimes I have found myself wondering how I would have reacted if I had been around during civil rights marches. Would I have marched or would I been the one of the ones watching quietly from the sidelines? World War II stories have inspired me by hearing how our country stuck together and went through rations to help our troops triumph. Well I sometimes read about those times with envy feeling like I have never lived through a "nothing ever changes" time.
Well I feel like just maybe I am on the cusp of such a moment. Can this be the start of a new integrity of our country? Can we truly change our country? Can God be brought back, not by law but by praying? Can the often silent majority stand up and count?
All I know is that tonight I feel hopeful. And considering the state of our economy, I find myself wondering why. I feel like I am seeing an unfolding of a new chapter, a more positive chapter in America's history. I do not feel like just a new president will change everything. But I do think that those who often feel that they have no voice in our country now feel that they count. I am proud that America has been able to elect a person, regardless of their race. But given the optimism that I feel, I can not even begin to understand what this must mean to those Americans who have always been treated differently because of the color of their skin. In my wildest imagination I will hopefully never know what it feels like to know that my children are at a disadvantage simply because of what they look like. For tonight I am feeling hopeful about my country and I do truly believe that we are ready to turn the corner,.......back to God.

A Special Day

2009-01-15T18:41:00.002-05:00

Today my Dad would have been 91. He was born in 1918, and his father died when he was eight months old. He always told us that he didn't know how to do the father thing but he tried. He was youngest of five children who were raised by a single mother. She never remarried until all of her children were adults and gone from home. Dad grew up poor and quit school after only eight years of school. It is hard to imagine how he grew up to be a kind, gentle man given his rough start. He never complained about his childhood or his poor upbringing. I never heard him speak of his mother with anything other than respect and admiration.
This April 18th, Dad will have been gone for four years.....Seems like he was just dropping off to sleep in his easy chair a few months ago. So today brings the sadness back in full force, and while we all have lost a quiet man, who said little but meant what he said, I still see him.
I see him in Brian's red hair, Lisa's calm manners and Karen's commitment to family. I see him when I find myself saying "We'll see..." and I am reminded of his focus and priorities when I look at his GED diploma sitting on my dresser in my bedroom. I remember being so proud of him for getting that. I was probably in grade school then. My dad was an optimist. I don't ever remember him being down about something. He was easy going and slow to anger. So today as I remember and grieve for Dad, but I smile also because I remember his simplicity and pleasure of small things.

Waiting Room?

2009-01-11T17:21:00.002-05:00

Todays sermon smacked me in the face. Am I simply using my time here as a waiting room for Heaven? I was challenged to make it more than that and to vibrantly live today. I can't even begin to explain how many ways the sermon spoke to me. Jake, our youth minister was preaching today and today as most times he speaks, he challenges me in huge ways. Sometimes I say amen, that is what I agree with, other times I say hmm, I need to think about this and still other times I say, now way, where did that come from? Well today was all three in one sermon. I am convinced that God is using Jake in a mighty way. (that in itself sorta scares me) So I will let his lesson joggle around in my mind and urge anyone that was not present to order the cd of the sermon.

We are getting ready to go to Honduras in two weeks and I am so looking forward to it. God has made it possible that we will be able to build a home for a family without one in Honduras. Sharon also wants to go to the dump where thousands live. And I want to see my grandson Antonio and watch his smile as he calls me "grandma 'nita" I am looking forward to spending time with Karen and her awesome husband Dorian. She could not have found a better person or one I could love more. Dorian is like my own. And the children at Casa......I will be meeting new ones that I have yet to meet and I will be hugging familiar little bodies like Brayan and Cindy. It is so odd how certain children steal your heart. I have loved everyone of the children but Cindy and Antonio have stolen by heart in ways I can not describe. Cindy has such potential and I hope that I can be part of her future and her success in life. Antonio just feels like family. Another sweet soul who speaks the language of love to my heart is Dilcia who works at Casa. She has such a sweet disposition and her life is not one of ease, but she loves the Lord.
Well it is something like 13 days and counting and I can't wait. I want to relieve Karen some and see she and Dorian spend some quality time together. I want to take care of Karen and make her feel better soon. I want to live not only in the states but in Honduras in a couple weeks, like I am doing more than spending time in a "waiting room"

Happy New Year!

2009-01-01T16:53:00.002-05:00

Hard to believe that it is 2009. Wasn't it just last year that I was having trouble trying to get used to 2000. And a couple years before that it was the seventies. Anyways, time is passing us by. I have given up on New Years Resolutions because they too often end up being something else to feel bad about when I don't follow through.
That being said, a New Year brings a new beginning, a fresh start. I hope to develop a deeper relationship with my Jesus this year. I want Him to be the first thing I think about each morning and in everything I do. I want to show Jesus' love to all that I come in contact with. I hope that I can depend totally on HIM to that He can change my life, not be trying to change my life by my efforts or my abilities.
God has blessed me so tremendously with material blessings. I desire to develop into a better steward of what I have to use and seek spiritual blessings more. In the past I have often wished for others to change and do better, thinking that I have the answers or know what is "right". Right is only an idea. I now believe that my relationship with Jesus is what makes me righteous. It is not a belief that I buy into nor is it a group that I can join, it is foremost and only a relationship that I hope becomes more intimate each day of 2009.

Pinball thinking

2008-12-07T18:09:00.002-05:00

You know how that ball bounces around a pinball machine? Well that is sorta how thoughts are bouncing around in my brain. Thought I would share..........
Beautiful snow..........pure, reflective, quiet
Death ......sure thing, final, sad
Change.......scary, thrilling, fulfilling
Small Group........comfortable, challenging, spiritual

Thankfulness II

2008-11-29T17:06:00.002-05:00

When you try to arrange furniture in a room and there are too many pieces to work right, it means that I am blessed with more than I need. I hope that in the upcoming year I will learn to be a better steward and give to others more. I am sitting here right now looking at a beautiful Christmas tree in front of a fireplace and watching movies on my new flat screen and sipping ice tea. What a life! I am so blessed.
This morning I drove to Piketon to take Brian and Toby to meet their ride back to Harding. It seems like I just get used to having him around and he is gone again. Oh well, three more weeks of school and he will be back for Christmas break. Lisa is still visiting and I am enjoying spending some time with her. Life is good!

I am thankful for

2008-11-28T19:05:00.001-05:00

warm comfortable home
lots of food
Lisa & Brian being home
My mom getting better
Griswold using litter box
sunshine
mincemeat pie
best sister in the world
best friend in world
Karen being safe
Dorian for loving Karen
Antonio :(
Cindy Lou
four day weekend
And as I think about all of these wonderful gifts I am reminded that my heavenly Father blessed me with them all. He is so good to me and I am so unthankful...........but at this moment I want to express my appreciation to a Father that fulfills my every need.................

I needed to laugh....

2008-11-20T21:14:00.000-05:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rzMUxMp1ndk

Crazy week

2008-11-16T17:00:00.002-05:00

Been a busy week. My Mom had a total knee replacement on Tuesday and part of Wednesday and Thursday I was manning a booth at a Senior Expo. Every extra minute I was at hospital with Mon, including spending the night one night and then to work. Well Friday I was in office all day and things were wild. Maybe it was my tiredness of the week but things were just hitting one after another and I wrote down all that was happening and emailed it to my home email. Below I will copy and paste word for word what I wrote.

inside my brain
one client missing, one threatened me and has requested another worker, one got someone to get her utility bills lowered but she insists she will not pay them, and another client's daughter called for the 82nd time to warn me that her brother is trying to arrange to have her mother brought home from nursing facility so he can have her money and still another is still in danger due to his caregiver's girlfriend who has beat him before and continues to sneak into the home but probation officer can't find her there. I found her last time hiding in the bathroom........even though her probation was to have not contact with my client. So that is the last 15 minutes of my life.

So now that you have had a glimpse into my brain you see why I struggle to remember which way I am headed some days....... And then I received email from one of the commissioners stating that there is a meeting Monday morning to choose insurance plans for the coming year. And it also stated which two plans they were considering. As president of the union at my agency I am rep for bargaining unit. Within thirty minutes everyone wanted copies of the the two options and a meeting to discuss. Maybe it was the week, maybe it was my realization that I have done what I was capable of for the union....but I left work on Friday I knew that I was resigning my office. I just want to use my time to help the most people possible and I do not feel that president of the union is the place for me right now. And I have an awesome vp that will take over so things will be fine......without me feeling guilty. So I feel good about the decision. I just have to tell everyone tomorrow.
But back to my mom; she is so awesome. She is one tough lady. The amount of pain I see her going through blows my mind. It would be so much easier for her to have not had surgery and been content to use wheelchair, etc. but she is focused on many more years of independent living. I hope I have half of her spunk when I am 83.
God has blessed me with so many things but I am thankful today for the small amount of insight that He has blessed me with. I go to see an endocrinologist this week, so pray that the dr. with have the wisdom to figure me out.

My Three Greatest Needs

2008-11-09T20:02:00.002-05:00

One of the questions for small group tomorrow night is "What are your three greatest needs?"
Got me to thinking. My greatest need was easy to name, I need a closer, more intimate relationship with God. The second is I need to become a better steward of all that I am given and use what I have to bless others. I had to think a while to come up with the third of my greatest needs. I think it ends up being wisdom. I need wisdom to stay focused on chasing Him. I need wisdom to know the better ways to manage my resources.
Maybe I need the wisdom first. If I had the wisdom I would realize that "I" can't achieve any of this. I need to turn it over to God. I need to trust Him and quit believing that I can work harder, read more or do something. Bottom line is my only need is turn my entire live over to HIM

Picasa Web Albums - Anita - November 08

2008-11-06T19:21:00.000-05:00

Picasa Web Albums - Anita - November 08

Good bye Summer

2008-11-06T19:08:00.002-05:00

If the weatherman knows what he is talking about, this is our last 70 degree day. This has been an awesome summer. Visits from The Durbins, and Karen and Dorian were definitely high points. Brian was not "home" but nearby. I have enjoyed spending time with friends and making new ones. I am posting some of my favorite summer photos and feeling pretty thankful for all that my Heavenly Father has blessed me with.

Thoughts

2008-11-05T19:50:00.002-05:00

I have kept my opinions to myself during the last year and a half leading up to the election. But these days, I am less interested in what others think and more concerned that I speak my heart. All I have heard lately is how we must vote our faith and values. Well I thought and prayed about the election and I voted for Obama and I feel that I did vote my faith and values. Christian values to me are more than abortion and gay marriage. They are about value in ALL human life. What about the people in Darfur and the innocent killed in wars? And also the really difficult one, what about death row? If human life is valuable then who are we to decide which lives are valuable? I think the moment I heard the interview that Rick Warren had with both candidates, Obama had me. When he talked frankly about his belief in Jesus and that his sins were covered by Jesus sacrifice I was intrigued. Values? My values are for the disenfranchised, the poor, the lonely the unloveables. And sorry I don't get scared at a redistribution of wealth. I am tired of seeing the poor get poorer. I am also tired of "fixes" like Medicare Part D which only give another hoop to jump through. This great program automatically signed seniors up for plans that would not cover the specific meds that they were on. I don't like labels like liberal, conservative, democrats, republicans. Too often I have found that we use labels to limit people and take their power away. I have been ashamed of emails that I have received concerning Obama such as his being a muslim, won't wear a flag pin, won't put his hand over heart during pledge of allegiance. I am never disappointed by someone with a differing opinion but I am disappointed when people use fear and hatred to get their way. So while I am cautiously optimistic for this president I realize that no one can change everything. This is a monumental moment for our country when you realize that history was made. For today I am glad the emails and commercials are over and we can all pray that God will lead our leaders and our country back to HIM. Born Hopeless, Lovingly redeemed, Chasing Him.

This is the day that the Lord has made...

2008-11-02T20:39:00.002-05:00

Worship was awesome today. Preaching was on expressing gratitude and that is something that we all need to do. I am so thankful for so many things. Ron mentioned this morning making a list of blessings. I will use this blog to do so but remember that they are in no order other than how they pop into my head. They are also far from being all inclusive.
My church at belpre
Lisa, my princess
Karen, who inspires me
Brian, whose wit makes me laugh
Sue, the most wonderful sister in the world
Sharon, the friend who feels like family
a job where I get paid to help people
a car that runs (believe me there have been some that didn't)
Enough food to eat whatever I want, whenever I want (blessing & curse:)
a beautiful home
a yard that helps me think
Terri, a coworker that encourages me on
BJ's Buddies, small group that rocks
A funny MOther
One good dog and one demon dog
computer to talk to my children on
cell phone that works most of the time
a bed that is so comfortable
a passion for others
a relationship with the King
caffeine
a Christian country
socks to keep my toes warm
and I am forgiven of all the mistakes I make
Born hopeless, lovingly redeemed, chasing HIM

It is cold!

2008-10-29T20:03:00.002-04:00

I am so glad I do not live in North Dakota, (sorry Amanda) The older I get the less I like the cold. Things have been interesting lately. I am having some issues with hormones not being what they should be. So I think, yea I am 52, it is probably menopause starting. no big deal. No, I could not have something like other people. God truly made me unique. The hormone that is elevated for me is one that is usually present in pregnant and nursing mothers. Yep, that is right. I never do anything correctly. Well my doc thought that maybe there would be a small tumor on pituitary gland that would account for the elevation. Nope, none there. So at this point I am to get an appointment with an endocrinologist and go from there. And the local endocrinologist isnt accepting patients. Besides the annoying aspects that no one wants to read on here (sore breasts, etc.) I seem to be experiencing depression also. This is a hard one for me. So that is why I am writing about it.
Some part of me is ashamed to admit that I have been on anti-depressant/anti-anxiety meds for bunches of years. I finally accepted that this small amount keeps me moving and live is better. But now my doc has increased my meds twice. Yep twice. That is very, very difficult for me. My Doc tells me that this is just a chemical imbalance and it will probably pass. The hormones might be causing it or whatever causes the hormone imbalance might be messing with mood chemicals in brain.
But for now, right now, I feel like I should somehow be able to "suck it up" or be strong and tough it out. I know, I know, I tell all those I work with that this is nothing to be ashamed of but it doesnt feel like that way. So God is going to use this to help me help others. And I know 100% that it will be for good, but it is just a difficult place to be right now.
The good news is that the meds are working! I am not extremely emotional and wanting to cry constantly. Hopefully with the new increase I will have greater clarity of thought.
I needed to write this and to admit that I am powerless without God working in me, I only have hope in Him and God is good all the time. So for now, my six word testimony that Grubbs asked us to think about is:
Born Hopeless,
Lovingly redeemed,
Chasing Him.

A time of concern

2008-10-14T20:10:00.002-04:00

Everywhere I go and everyone I talk to is talking about the uncertainty of the times. this is a time that both the well off and poor are concerned about their future. Everywhere I go, I hear that times are tough. I do ache for those that truly do without and do not know where they are going to come up with money for meds or food that is needed on their special diets. These people need all the help that we can give them. But most of us, and I include myself; are maybe eating out a little less and worrying as we watch the stock market plummet and our money on paper decreasing daily. I attended a college football game and it was filled with people who had spent a lot of money on tickets, tailgating, etc. Pass any restaurant and you still find people waiting to be seated. So while we might be affected by less in our portfolios when we retire, the really needy are "retired" but have no money to care for themselves. Political commercials right now make you want to not vote...........For tonight I pray that all of us will pray about our voting and pray for the ones who have so little around us.

Beautiful Day

2008-10-10T20:43:00.002-04:00

God is blessing us with the painting of the trees right now.......they are just beginning to turn colors and the the leaves are falling. The sky was so blue today, it reminded me of Colorado sky. Autumn is an enjoyable time of year. God gives me so many gifts daily......God is good.

Thankfulness

2008-10-07T21:12:00.002-04:00

Today, I am thankful for birds that sing, leaves that parade a cascade of colors for our delight. I am thankful that I have been blessed with awesome relationships, wonderful opportunities for worship and financial means to not to have to worry where my next meal comes from. I am thankful for having the three most awesome children that any one person could have. They have the ability to change the world and are doing so daily. I am one of those truly fortunate persons who gets paid to help other people. I am truly blessed in every way.
I have a sister and a dear friend who affirmed me and supported me when I could not believe in myself. Without their support I would not be who and what I am. But who am I truly thankful to? My wonderful heavenly father who gave me everyone of the things I mentioned above. For tonight I am thankful..............

Sunday

2008-10-05T13:06:00.002-04:00

What an exciting weekend, full of emotions and hope and concern and fear. I spent an exciting day yesterday at Women of Purpose and was so blessed. But soon after I got there I got a call from my sister that the squad had taken Mom to the ER. She had "popped" her knee and couldn't walk. I left for the ER praying for her and for me, to be what she needed me to be. The xrays showed no break so she was referred to call an orthopedic doctor on Monday and schedule a MRI to further check on what happened. She was fitted with a knee brace to keep her right knee straight and given some pain pills. She was also told her her knees were worn out and would probably need a total knee replacement. My sister took Mom home and I went back to Women of Purpose. I was blessed by being there and the angels in heaven surely can't outsing Sara Jane! After WoP, stopped and picked up pizza as we were having a couple friends over later. Ginger and Rose came and visited and I laughed and laughed at the stories they told. They are two special ladies that are truly blessing my life. After they left, I went to my Mom's to spend the night. We had quite a time. My sister and I tried to set up the potty chair for Mom to use during the night so she would not have to get up and try to get to bathroom. Well, my sister found the liner for the chair but it did not have a bottom to it. She almost didn't notice. So we set about trying to find a container to sit inside of the chair to no avail. Finally, as a joint effort we figured out that this insert was to be used when you sit the chair over the commode. Mom remembered through her tears of laughter that the other container was stored under the other bathroom sink. So by then we sat up the potty chair thinking we had outsmarted it, but no it was not over. We had the chair set up high so Mom could use it. well, by the time she climbed onto it, she looked like little Edith Ann who used to be on Laugh-In. her feet a good 4-5 inches off the floor. So we fixed it and got it positioned by Mom's bed. My sister left and I though I had the easy part, just going to bed and getting up during the night with Mom. Well, my sister hadn't been gone more than ten minutes when Mom decided she was ready for bed. Well somehow as she tried to lift herself out of the chair with one foot and her arms and me trying to help her to a walker,; yep, she almost slid to the floor. The giggles returned and I thought I would have to run for the potty chair. Mom finally made it to bed and she took the brace off. She only got up once during the night and it went well. this morning I woke early and lay there waiting to hear her moving. A couple times I got up and went in to look at her and she was asleep. Finally I popped around the door to her room and she scared me by talking before I realized she was awake. She told me that after she used the bathroom during the night, she thought she might need a pain pill but she heard me snoring and decided not to wake me up. (Am I a good nurse or what?) She said it was a soft snoring, but she had her hearing aide out and was in another room! We barely got up and dressed this am before my sister came so I could go to church. Sharon came by to get me for church and Mom tried to tell her about all the activities and could not for laughing till she cried. Sharon just sort of smiled with a concerned look. Church was good and we came home for dinner and had tilapia but it just doesn't taste as well as when Dorian fixed it. I am going to get myself together and go back to Mom's and hopefully try to behave this time. I will spend the night there again and hopefully we can get an orthopedic dr. to see her tomorrow. Her knee was better this am but we will see....Pray that Mom will receive the wisest medical care and pray that those around her will serve her with skill not just good intentions (mostly me)

September 29th

2008-09-28T20:21:00.002-04:00

Is not a happy date for me..........My grandmother passed away on this day in 1979 and then my children's grandmother passed away on this day in 1984.
Sort of in a funk these days trying to find myself and figure out who I am and where I am going. I am hoping it is the start of menopause and not sheer lunacy. but it is always clear to me how blessed I am by being redeemed by grace and blessed by so many wonderful people in my life. Today was the last day of work for my sister. She is completely retired now. I am so happy for her. She has been such an important person in my life. During all the hard times in my life, she was there cheering me on.
I did a stupid thing today..I joined facebook. Karen talked me into it by saying I could talk to her and my other children easier there.........This brain is getting too old to learn something new.......but Hey I talked to all three of my darlings on there. So as I think of another busy week at work I wanted to post a pic from when we were in Tennessee a few weeks back. Have a good week and know that God is good, all the time.

Old Times

2008-09-14T15:08:00.003-04:00

Today, an old friend preached at church. It was good to see Teddy and I realized how much I miss him. He talked a lot about old times and his "growing up" in the Belpre church. He had pictures and one was of bible bowl team that had Lisa, Karen and Amanda all in it. He told of how this group would come to their home for practice and move everything around and eat everything they had. Surely it wasn't my children:) Teddy is doing a lot for unity in the Mid Ohio Valley. Teddy has always been a special person to me. When I had nothing we brought me Christmas gifts. He would call and see if Brian had money to go to church camp and many other things. We had different opinions on a lot of things but I never doubted Teddy's love for me and my family or to God. It was good seeing him and Cheryl again.
Our Monday night group is difficult. I am having a hard time answering all the questions posed by the book. Tomorrow we will discuss "Dreamsicles" - our frozen dreams and "Kick Start" - acting on our dreams. At one point I thought I knew exactly what I was supposed to do with my life. Now I am no longer certain. What is my dream? not sure. The only answer that I know for sure is that I am here to help hurting people. when you can help wounded people heal they can then connect with God and move on. I know I need to make better use of my gift and resources and I pray that this will become more clear to me. I am posting a pic of my children and my Mom, of whom I am so extraordinarily proud.

Life is Crazy

2008-09-11T20:22:00.002-04:00

I keep thinking that life and work is crazy and I can not do all I need to do and then it hits me, duh! I never could I just though I could. It has always been God. I do not do a very good job of depending on my heavenly Father. I read His word today at lunch to try to focus on depending on Him. I know He is in control but I don't always act like it. but I am growing and learning and hopefully I will get it before long. Work was crazy and I became very angry at the inability of some of our "systems" to protect our weakest. I hope I always get upset at injustice but pray that I learn to work towards solutions.
The current political campaigns anger me in that lies and innuendo carry more weight than issues and truth. words are cheap and anybody can say anything. But who is going to stand up for those who have no one to fight for them? Who is going to make sure that our elderly are valued and money to insure their safety? Political party doesn't matter to me, what matters to me is the truth and integrity in which they have lived their lives. Sorry that I am on a soap box today. I ended my day giving a statement to police that caused them to charge a 10 year old girl with domestic violence. Pray for this girl and her family. Pray for me that I will continue to look to my Heavenly Father, from where all good comes..........

pic of Dorian

2008-09-09T20:14:00.002-04:00

I could not get a pic of Dorian to load before , I will retry..........

My baby turns 21!

2008-09-09T19:47:00.003-04:00

Yep, I can hardly believe that Brian is twenty one today. Seems like only a couple years ago that his sisters would dress him up and play with him. They loved having a little brother. Well he may be younger than them, but he is all grown up and towers over them now. Brian I miss you and I want to wish you a very happy birthday. I remember the times we would watch TV and we sat in the recliner together. Remember Monster House? No we couldn't share a chair then but that was not your fault. As I fondly thought of you all day, these thoughts kept roaming around in my brain:
cheesecake, snickerdoodles and spaghetti; smelly shoes, duct tape shoes and shoes under the covers; basketball, tee ball and neighborhood ball; loud bass announcing your arrival home at night and then you sitting on my bed and talking about your day. I want you to know how proud I am of you. You are an awesome guy and I can't wait to see what you do with your many gifts. God has blessed you with intelligence, gentleness, and humor and He has blessed me with you!
And this September 9th, I have a new son; Dorian. It seems only fitting that both my sons would share a birthday. I believe Dorian is 25 today. Dorian loves God and loves my daughter, what more could I want? He is giving to a fault and has an awesome sense of humor. Dorian smiles and his eyes twinkles. I am so blessed that God has seen fit to bring Dorian into my life, he is truly a gift from God. I think of Dorian and I am reminded of limes, refried beans peppers; Scrabble, Risk and dominos; preaching, studying and teaching.
Today I am blessed, I have two totally awesome men in my life and because of both Brian and Dorian, my life is a better place.

Home Sweet Home

2008-09-06T20:12:00.002-04:00

'We made it to Lisa's yesterday evening and helped her get her new bed to her apartment, up the stairs and assembled. We had to open the bed and carry it up in pieces as it was so heavy. It really looks good now and it is the least that we could do since she kept Griswald for us. He was happy to see us, much more than we were to see him. But I think Lisa was happiest of all :) We visited Jason on the way home from Columbus and Kyle is really getting tall. He has the most innocent little smile. When we got here, we carried in stuff today for a while. I guess choices have consequences and we should not have shopped so much. Sat down and watched the Ohio State-Ohio University game and even though OU lost they were so awesome. then WVU lost to a lesser team. Who would have thought that Ohio U would be the bright spot today.
Talked to Karen online and she is good. Talked to Brian and Lisa on phone and they are good. Tonight I am glad to be home and thankful that home feels so good. Vacation was good, but home is better, even if it is with Griswald:)

Heading North

2008-09-05T08:52:00.002-04:00

We decided to head towards home, or at least Griswald today. Will leave in a little while and head towards Columbus and Lisa's. It is another beautiful day here, it has reached 90 everyday. By leaving today we will try to stay out of the way of the rain to come. I have ate everything and anything and have probably gained bunches. I will need to tie myself to my gazelle exerciser when I get home. As I finish this vacation, I am thankful. Thankful for a job that allows me ample vacation time. I am thankful to my heavenly Father who has given us such a beautiful world that I barely take the time to look at normally. I am thankful for friends to spend time with and new ones that are gained. God is good!

Another Day in Tennessee

2008-09-04T19:37:00.004-04:00

Didn't get to sleep in this morning, things to do being the last day here. We were in Gatlinburg at the Aquarium when it opened at 9am. It was beautiful and again was reminded at how much thought was put into each creature of the sea. Did you know there is a sea dragon? I didn't. It is similar to sea horse but it does look like a dragon. I had a hard time figuring out how to set the camera to take good pics through the glass in the dark but I ended up with some good ones but had to delete some too. I will post some pics of the aquarium. After the aquarium, we walked around Gatlinburg and I stopped at Ben & Jerry's and had a mid morning Ben & Jerry's banana split. Did a little more shopping and found some more special Christmas gifts. It was a day of pleasures, stopped by the creek and read USA Today completely while listening the water rushing over the rocks. Then we went to a new show called Miracle. It was simply the most awesome production that I have ever done. Besides the subject matter, which ran from the creation of the world to Jesus resurrection; the music, acting and special effects were outstanding! Then we went next door to Tony Romas for something to eat and all I could think of was the only other time I have eaten at Tony Romas's was in Honduras. Found myself missing Karen & Dorian big time.
After being totally full we returned to motel for some rest and relaxation. Having a quiet evening reading, snacking and relaxing. Tomorrow morning, will probably head to Cherokee, NC and then decide where to go after that.

Shop, Shop, Stampede

2008-09-03T21:06:00.002-04:00

Well I have had my fill of shopping. Everywhere I looked I saw another store. Three Dress Barn stores later and a zillion other stores, including Old Time Pottery and I was exhausted. So we headed to to Dixie Stampede. Not sure what I expected, but it was different than I expected. It was good though and a lot of very talented people work there. Oh and I forgot, we found a Christian Bookstore Outlet:) It was just an awesome day. There is a car show here this weekend and there are more oldies on the street daily. I saw an awesome 69 red Firebird today that I would love to have. Also visited a pottery place where they actually "throw" the pottery there. There was a huge quilt store with low prices and you could even see some sewers working at machines. But most every quilt I looked at, had a made in China tag. Some of the motels have on their signs; " American owned" And the Stampede ended with a rousing patriotic finish. We can be moved by witnessing an intense patriotic song but when was the last time I was "moved" when I thought of my citzenship with God? Do we proudly announce, "made by God" ? I just found myself thinking about this as there seems to be a real sense of American pride but where is my Christian pride? Food for thought..............................

The Smokies

2008-09-02T21:43:00.003-04:00

We headed into the Smokies today and I am now worn out. We went through Sevierville, Pigeon Forge, and Gatlinburg and then the Smoky Mtn National Park and Cades Cove. Yes Karen, Sharon saw several deer but even that was not enough for today and she wanted to see bears! Personally, I was praying that we did NOT see bears. I found the most perfect store ever today. Russell Stover outlet store. What can I say but WOW! And I saw an ad for a shop that has dolls and dogs clothes...Since Griswald said hi I might have to get him an outift. It is beautiful here but too many people. The river with rocks was so soothing. I could sit on a rock in the river for hours. Tomorrow evening we have tickets for Dixie Stampede. Not sure what to expect but I am sure it will be fun.
As I appreciated the wonderful views, I was so impressed by all that our Father had created for our enjoyment. From the wildflowers, to wild life and the majestic mountains it was impossible to not see God everywhere. I am so blessed to be on this vacation and have the opportunity to appreciate the many blessings around me. God has showered me with so many beautiful things, but I often fail to appreciate them or sometimes even see them.

Tommorrow Outlet malls here I come, it should be an interesting day. I will post a few pics from today.

Oak Ridge Tennessee

2008-09-01T13:18:00.002-04:00

We made it to Oak Ridge yesterday evening and are spending tonight and tomorrow night here. It is a sprawling city made infamous during the cold war. We made it into Oak Ridge just in time for Sonic's happy hour so life is good. Sharon's friend Beth is a sweetheart and has an awesome sense of humor. I have sat out on the upstairs porch reading for the last hour. Acutally reading for fun. I finally got too warm and came inside to blog. Who knows I might just take a nap.
This Labor Day I am thankful for those who have fought for fair wages and working conditions so that Americans can earn a living and not endanger themselves. Growing up I thought unions were the guys that made employers pay people $30 an hour to sit around. I have now found myself being president of local 772 AFSCME and serve proudly. The best world is where unions are not needed but without the threat of unions and collective bargaining, I have to wonder how many would still treat workers fairly. So for my brother and sister unionizers of the past, I thank you for your sacrifices and hard work.
Labor Day always marks the end of summer, kinda sad.....and I find myself wondering where the summer went. Well my summer consisted of The Durbins coming home from ND and then Karen and Dorian home from Honduras and then spending time with Brian and Lisa before Brian went back to Harding. I enjoyed the many games we played and the time spent with those I love. I look ahead anxious to visit Honduras again and see Cindy, who is growing and maturing. This child has no much potential. I miss Antonio who truly feels like my grandson. and I miss the sweet face of Dilcia who has such a heart of gold. I do not know how she does what she does and still smiles all the time. I hope I will not be visiting ND in winter again. Amanda Sue has to learn to have her babies in warmer weather! I hope to use this end of summer, beginning of fall to truly live as if I were dying, because I am, we all are, we just don't know when. So, Happy Labor Day, enjoy your celebrations and family and remember to not put off until "someday" what needs done today.

Day one of vacation

2008-08-31T09:29:00.002-04:00

We left home yesterday evening and met Lisa outside of Huntington WV to give her Griswald. I hope he behaves for her. He is a high maintenance dog for sure. After passing off Grisswald, we journed on to Grayson Ky. I was trying to be spontaneous and did not reserve a room for last night. After two motels and no rooms, I was beginning to think we would have to sleep in car at a rest stop. But the third motel had a room, so life is good. I did not sleep real well last night, maybe I should not have eaten supper right before bed:(. Ready to get moving today as we are headed to Oak Ridge Tennessee to visit a friend of Sharon's. I am so looking forward to a time of renewing, physically, mentally and spiritually. In other words I want to be lazy. A dream last night I think accounte for some lost sleep. I was stuck in an airport and could not get out. Why are dreams so strange? Maybe they just follow my erratic thoughts. As I begin this day, I thank by Father for a job that allows for vacation, and a beautiful world He created for me to explore. I will be praying today for my children, especially Dorian with his health concerns and Brian as he begins another year at Harding. Lisa probably needs extra prayers since she has Griswald and Karen, I was stuck at the airport trying to get to you, and gma was with me! I will also be praying for the people on the Gulf Coast that they will find safety. I can't help but worry about the elderly and disabled who may have difficulty evacuating. Well I need to get dressed and get this adventure started.

Life is short

2008-08-19T19:16:00.002-04:00

Dying is a sure thing, but why do we, especially me not live like that? Why do I pretend that I have forever to do and be, while each day is precious. What prevents me from living fully each day? I am trying to look at each moment differently and appreciate it for what it is and not what comes next or what happened last week. why is it that when I finally get around to doing things differently, life seems harder? Work is crazy. Before it was tough and busy but it has got worse this week and now I just sorta feel like there is no way to succeed. I know that this will pass but right now, this is where I find myself while I am trying to live more fully:)
If I live like I am dying, then I will tell my children how much I admire them.
Lisa, your independence and tenacity is an inspiration to me. Karen, your energy makes me tired to think about and Brian, your ability to focus on what you want is phenomenal. And Dorian, your ability to adapt and find joy everywhere is such a gift. I love you all beyond any words I can write. Pray that I can learn to live each day, fully and completely.

The Dash

2008-08-17T19:03:00.000-04:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MPyu4M2di8U

This is awesome!

One Month to LIve

2008-08-17T18:27:00.002-04:00

If I had one month to live, what five things would I change? I would certainly spend every moment I could with my loved ones and spend lots of time praising and praying to my awesome God! I would spend what little money I have on everyone around me. I dream about winning the lottery(even though I don't play it) and all the fun I could have giving to others and buying things for others. But what prevents me from doing this now with what I do have? I don't have to have a million dollars to help others....As I begin this study on the book One Month to Live I am being challenged to live my life in the moment. Not in the past and not in the future but now. I hope to write my thoughts in this blog as I begin this journey. Our small group is taking two chapters or days a week so we will finish our "One Month" in fifteen weeks...or around the first of December. The questions that are already arising for me are many. I hope at the conclusion of this study I have a more vibrant, passionate love demonstrated daily., So for all of you that I don't tell you how much I appreciate and love you, I plan to change this and speak my heart..........Pray for me as I begin this journey..........

I'm Back

2008-08-10T18:32:00.004-04:00

Summer has been fast and furious but very good. I feel blessed by getting to spend some quality time with those I love dearly. Amanda and her family visited in June and the day before they left to go home, Karen and Dorian arrived for a month. Lisa and Brian came in every weekend and we played lots of games. Dorian in his first visit to US beat Karen and me at Scrabble. It was rather embarrassing! My small group is getting ready to start a study of the book One Month to live. This study is both exciting and scary for me...I have missed blogging so I will try to keep up and let the thoughts that ramble through my mind find the light of day here. Writing on here helps me to process things. I will post some pics of the summer..............

Joy

2008-06-07T21:12:00.002-04:00

Does joy come from within or outside? Are you filled with joy because of what you have or what you are? Is joy the same as happiness?

The Journey

questions

Questioning how I live life

Ask For Help and Just Trust!!!

We Really Are Terrific....Celebrate It!!! :)

An excerpt fromOh Thank Goodness, It's Not Just Me!by BJ Gallagher

Another Day in Honduras

Labor Day

Worship Day

The rain returns

It was the best of days, it was the worst of days.

I made it through the day!

How many times can you start over?

I Need To Be A Better Servant

National Lampoon has nothing on me!

Mothers Day

What am I willing to sell?

February 16th

Ownership

Confused

If I had two hands..............

Fear of Joy

9/13/09

Labor Day

Movies, two days in a row

Donald Miller

If it is Wednesday, I must be in Grand Forks

Monday, and I didn't have to go to work.

Being Lazy

North Dakota

Dogs

Guest Blogger Tonight

Legacy

Crazy Week

I was made for this.....

PIcs from this summer

This sounds like me!!!!

July 29th

Proverbs 21:31

Mondays

Thought Provoking.....

By ROBERTO MICHELETTI

Stalled Journey

Easter

What if......

Today's song of my heart

Smiling Honduran Pictures

A Country Song

Friday

Thursday

Wednesday

Tuesday

Pics from Monday

Monday

Sunday

Saturday

Friday

Thursday

Wednesday

Tuesday

Monday

Sunday

Quilt

Antonio & me:)

In Hondo Land

One more day....

A Historic Time?

A Special Day

Waiting Room?

Happy New Year!

Pinball thinking

Thankfulness II

I am thankful for

I needed to laugh....

Crazy week

My Three Greatest Needs

Picasa Web Albums - Anita - November 08

Good bye Summer

Thoughts

This is the day that the Lord has made...

An excerpt from
Oh Thank Goodness, It's Not Just Me!
by BJ Gallagher